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I slipped up.
I slit cuts.
I didn't mean to.
I drew blood.

I read online
When I was probably just 14 or 15 years old
That most people don't stop until their 20's
And it scared me
But I thought
"No, I'll stop right now"

But I didn't.
I couldn't.

I slipped up.
I slit cuts.
I didn't mean to.
I drew blood.

And now that I'm older
It hurts more to try to hide it
And now that I have people that care about me
Often times they don't understand why this part of my life is still relevant
And all I can say to make them understand is

I slipped up.
I slit cuts.
I just had to.
I drew blood.
The priest puts his trust
In martyrs and miracles
Clutching his rosary and his celibacy
To his bursting breast
And humanity walks
Through a series of cages
Every day

The ***** puts her trust
In bordellos and bodies
Clutching her money and her condoms
To her brassy breast
And humanity walks
Through a series of cages
Every day

The lawyer puts his trust
In regulations and rules
Clutching his charters and his decrees
To his dusty breast
And humanity walks
Through a series of cages
Every day

We each put our trust
In roles and rituals
Clutching convention and convenience
To our timid *******
So humanity continues to walk
Through a series of self-made cages
Every day

                 By Phil Roberts
As you tip toe
Through these leaves,
Crunches and snaps
Alert us of thieves,
Rummaging around
This narrowing night,
You popped up suddenly
You gave me a fright,
Silly little hedgehog
Appearing behind plants,
I feel a sudden warmth
I've soiled my pants.
Just a quick write I decided to make when a hedgehog appeared as I took the bins out haha! Just to clarify, I didn't soil my pants xD
You shake and you shiver and cry out for me
As you caress my neck with your lips.
You melt into me like the snow in the spring
And my shoulders can feel your snow's drips

Then the clouds open up and present their remorse
Recreating your tears with their rain.
Like bullets the first drops hail down on our heads
And commence their percussive refrain.

I pat your back gently and tell you with care
There need not be a reason for tears.
But the patter of water in puddles is loud
And I say only words you can't hear.

Bam! It hits me! They're fake! I know why you're sad
And the reason you cry is unclear;
You're not sad at all, your snow is not gone:
You cry only crocodile tears.
i am fearful
of you,
who decided
you wanted to know me

and i am fearful
of me,
who is willing to hurt you,
so i can hurt myself.

i am afraid
when you stay,
because i know
you will leave soon.

and i am afraid
when you leave,
because i really wanted you
to stay

(my favorite dreams
are when you walk away from me,
because i know you will be happier
without me.

and my worst nightmares
are when you stay,
because i know
it’s only a matter of time.)

keep your distance
because i am scared of you
who will inevitably
hurt me
in the end

i do not deserve the you
who will build me up.

i only deserve myself,
who will continue to break me down.
—i am afraid of how much i need you
Its hard to write a poem when you don’t feel anything
I’m not quite numb
But nor am I happy or sad
I’m just here

Its hard to write a poem when you aren’t sad
I try to describe the feeling of everything but nothingness
But all that comes out is not how I feel
I try to describe the feeling of having a ******* cloud over you
But thats not what I say
And I try to describe how it feels to have a blade across your skin
But whats comes is misplaced words

Its hard to write a poem when you aren’t happy
I try to describe the feeling of love when my girlfriend holds my hand
But all that comes out, is nothing like how it feels
I try to describe the way she plays with my hair and the love in her eyes
But all that comes out is mumbled words with a stutter
I try to describe how she lights up my day
But all that turns into is sadness

Its hard to write a poem when you don’t feel anything
When I’m as happy as can be
But I still want to cut
Its hard to write a poem when you don’t even know your own feelings
 May 2017 Emilia Delemontex
Cné
What is the sky
but a canvas for clouds?
What is a city
but a canvas for crowds?
What is the meadow
so verdant and green
but a canvas for sheep
a pastoral scene?
What is the ocean
with reflections so blue,
than a canvas for sails
as they drift into view?
I think I shall paint...
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