Breathe in;
Breathe out.
The toxin air fills my lungs
sharper than razor blades against my legs.
I don't care much anymore.
seeing everyone so **** happy;
makes me ******* sick.
I want to run away from it all,
from all the smiles I see around me.
But I have nowhere to hide;
nowhere to feel safe;
no one to hold me.
Breathe in;
Breathe out.
Nicotine fills my lungs,
I think I like the fact that it's killing me
Slowly,
Sweetly,
Painlessly.
I find pleasure in knowing i'll die any day from the one thing that needs me more than I need it.
Nicotine.

I wouldn't blame you for being so rude to me
I hate me too
I'm as dull as the pencil I write with.

Lifeless,
as if i was never alive.  I stare blankly into everything,
Don't you dare ask why;
I can not answer that question.

I used to laugh like a lunatic,
smile at everyone I see.
I used to be happy I guess,
when i was younger at heart.

I wouldn't say i'm completely lost in the dark,
i'll just say I have no map to happiness,
and I've lost my  only compass.

It's funny, i'm happy when I'm slaving away at minimum wage,
with a fake smile, that turns real.
A real smile that only my coworkers, and guest can see.
They see something I can never find at home,
my happiness.

Why?
Why can't I let go of old things?
something is holding me back from doing what will make me happy.
is it me?
of course, its me.

you don’t understand.
i want to be with you again,
more than anything.
because you were the person
who showed me what it meant
to be truly happy;
because when we were together,
i was the best me i ever was or ever will be.

but the thing is
that i don’t want you coming back to me.
i wasn’t good enough.
i couldn’t make you happy.
and i think you deserve so much better
than i was able to give you.
so fall in love with a thousand other people,
but please, never come down my road again.

sometimes I just get in these moods where I think about nothing but destruction

But, what's the point in living, anyway?

I don't see a purpose quite exactly

my idea of fun is everything illegal

but if I get arrested, it's gonna be more than difficult to find a job

I could end up homeless
Or even worse, 40 years old living with my mother

we're born, and education is forced on us
we go to school with people we hate
atleast 50% or more of the school population hates themselves because of the people and remarks they have to deal with
everyday

but if we drop out of school, it's gonna be hard to get a job
and if we get lucky enough to get a job without education it's usually a job with poor pay

but how do you pay for your wife and two kids as a coworker at McDonald's?

"Lifes to short to have bad days," they say

life's not so short when you spend most of your time drowning in sadness and remorse
thinking about different ways to commit suicide

because it all started with a stupid boy
and it ended with a couple girls from school laughing at you

I breathe in anxiety
I exhale insecurity
while I'm stuck contemplating wether or not the girls across the room laughing at me

It's all so stupid
I guess life's not so short after all.