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 Feb 2018 Ivan Brooks Sr
del
as i scroll through the front page,
i see words of desperation
crying out from behind the screen
their screams muted
but nonetheless, still present
poets spilling their frustrations out
their blood slowly turning to ink
they do not await a savior
but rather a respite
from the hell they live in
as i scroll through the front page,
i see words of devotion
of gentle love and affection
proclaiming their beloved through
publishing discrete poems addressed to mine
possessive between the lines of careful words
as i scroll through the front page,
i see words of encouragement
poets using their abilities to cheer others
i wonder if they write them
out of necessity and obligation
or endless optimism and affection for strangers
as i scroll through the front page,
i catch glimpses of lives
i intrude on scenes
i experience the world from another person's eyes
and i observe
a quiet onlooker in the middle of a crowd
Sitting here alone, still feeling empty
An event occurs and a friend has left me
We parted with words that hurt my friend
He left with tears in his eyes and wounds to tend

Now I am far away and secluded
A friends trust has been polluted
With a wipe of the eye a bond is deceased
And with death came friends release

Now sitting around people I could care not for
It seems my life has taken a detour
He sent me away because he said he must
And as I did with me came my trust

He took our friendship which was just a seed
And beat it red, making it bleed
I sat head hung and I cried
He walked away, as I was swept away like the tide.
When I started dating a girl was had recently rejected one of my newer friends, he told the school about my drinking habits(at the time I was 17). I was suspended and sent home.... which was 4 hours away by plane! (boarding school). I wrote this in the airport waiting to catch my flight.
 Feb 2018 Ivan Brooks Sr
skyler
tell me you miss me
i will laugh with tear filled eyes
it was your choice love

s.s
Dear God, I need a moment
I know it's been a while
You know I do not go to church
That just is not my style

I do not pray like others do
I believe in what is right
So, God I ask you hear me
On this dark and lonely night

I do not ask redemption
I'm too far gone you know
I'm not one who is worth saving
Deep down you know it's so

The people who are righteous
Who are here to spread your word
Are wolves wrapped in sheep's clothing
Working hard to fleece the herd

I'm not one who will follow
I don't buy the tales they sell
When I am dead and buried
I'm not in heaven but in hell

I'm cutting out the middle man
For they don't own my trust
They're ******* their believers
They use your name with every ******

I hope that you can hear me
Though I've used your name in vain
They confess and pay their penance
Then they do it all again

If the only way to heaven
Is to buy a ticket in
Then I guess I'm well committed
So, I'll live my life in sin

The sinners should be punished
I know you and I agree
But, who made them judge and jury
Who chooses what they see?

Dear God when all is finished
My soul is mine alone to lose
But, where I spend my future
Is up to you to choose

So, God, I'm here just talking
Not confessing to my sin
I'm not here to say I'm leaving
I guess, I'm only checking in.
 Feb 2018 Ivan Brooks Sr
Sam
My balloon is black
As black as night
Filling me with dread
A horrible feeling
That I'm sadly used to
I can see it now
The future of my black balloon
It is taken ahold of
By an evil being
And popped
I thought I felt bad before
But now it's much worse
Much worse
Much worse
It's so much more than dread
It's temptation
I'm tempted to end it all
But I can't seem to get out of bed
My body doesn't want to move
It's ironic how my depression
Is what saved my life
For another day
Another day
Another day
But it's getting harder
Harder to move
And harder to resist these  temptations
I'm about to pop
Like a balloon
A black balloon
My black balloon
Listen to my heart beat
you will come to know
how tough it is
to beat without you

when you are nearby,
He fells he is complete
and without you
heart find himself alone  in  the world

you are like oxygen,
heart always need you,
it suffocates without you
and will die without you
 Feb 2018 Ivan Brooks Sr
Hi De
You never fail......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
to make me smile.
and my heart and soul knows it faithfully
 Feb 2018 Ivan Brooks Sr
Ricki
What is a poet if not a victim?
For he seems to be the only exception to a world of goodness.
Oh, what better way to depict him, than his own victimization?
What is a poet if not a child?
Granted, some are aged, but they all whine.
What is a poet if not broken?
He does mention his glass shards on the frequent.
Do keep in mind that he will never be doing fine.
What is a poet if not psychotic?
For him and all his kind appear to be mad.
What is a poet if not sad?
Spoiled minds of the depressed kind truly are poetic.
What is a poet if not contradictive?
For him, it's quite addictive.
What is a poet if not guilty?
For he may not always have the ability to plea innocent and play the victim.
What is a poet if not old?
Granted, some are young, but they're all wise.
What is a poet if not whole?
He is full of courage, he is bold.
So tell me, how is he not whole?
What is a poet if not sane?
Sure, he may be vain and a little odd, but he does write with utter sanity.
What is a poet if not glad?
He writes of love and purple lips.
Though his happiness may dip, he truly is a joyous soul.
What is a poet if not a fool?
He does accuse and misconstrue.
What is a poet if not a man, just like me and you?
 Feb 2018 Ivan Brooks Sr
del
emotions are pushed
behind a wall of glass
where they yell,
pounding at the barrier
but they are muffled
hardly interfering
with my apathetic mind.
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