Nathan

Nathan Aug 2017

It didn't hurt when you drove the dagger into my heart.

Only did it hurt when you left me to pull it out by myself.

#heartache #depression #love #lovelost #pain #misery #suffering #short

Nathan Jul 2017

These last 11 days.
I lost 2 people I love.

She was the object of my desires and it seems she's still seeks an old flame that's already burnt out. He was my main inspiration, he suffered with his own personal demons and tragically took his own life.

I've made a huge *** of myself before to both of you, I am sorry for that.

Blaming you for seeing in them what I see in myself and being petulant about the outcome, Blaming you for your demons and not being by your side.
I'm so sorry

These last 11 days.
I lost two people I love

#sadness #depression #loss #inspiration #love

Nathan Jul 2017

Dejection (haiku)

Unrelenting Pain
A blood red waterfall
From my broken heart

#haiku #575 #heartache #depression #sadness #lonliness

Nathan Jul 2017

Anguish

Just tell me
What is it you want
Do you want me to leave
Do you want me to stay
Because I know you don't want to be alone
It eats you alive
It makes you sick
If pain is what you want
Then I'll go

*I thought looking into a mirror would help reveal what I truly want, but it's just echoing my compounding misery.

#questions #frustration #sadness

Nathan Jul 2017

Inferno

My desire is raging like an inferno
It's roaring like a caged lion it's ready too pounce
Your body being the object of desire
Gripping your waist, kissing your neck

But I can't tell if you're fires burning
Or have you smouldered out
Did you ever even begin to start
Did you ever feel

That desire deep inside.

#romance #****** #love #fire #passion

Nathan Jul 2017

Crescendo

Intrusive abusive thoughts shower me under my own personal rain cloud.

Tormenting me, Unrelenting and sadistic they seek my misery.
If given a sound they would be as intense as an orchestra is reaching it's crescendo.

I'm powerless to react, the rain cloud is now a storm cloud, thunder claps and lightning replaced with the brutality of self inflicted slashes. Now what lingers is overcast.

My shell of the man I once was sits cowering in the corner.

Waiting for the cycle to begin again

#depression #selfharm #triggerwarning #suicidalthoughts

Nathan Jun 2017

Beyond the bounds of possibility

Wilted
Heartbroken
Yearning to be loved

All I see is couples
Must be nice...

It's killing me

Understand I'm not jealous
Not even close
Love is just something I desire
Only I can't seem to obtain it
Viable alternatives aren't existent
All I'm asking for is love
But I'm growing impatient
Love will come to you I've been told
Except that's not true.... is it.

#depression #depressed #loneliness #sadness