I crave the little things with you
Your hot breathe against my ear while your body is pressed against mine, your arms around my neck as you let out a laugh

I’m so annoyed that I constantly want to be around you, that I constantly want to be comforted by your smell. I am angry that I just want to give you all the love and care in the world, that I just want to build a life with you. I’m exhausted by the thought of you, the way you move, your eyes, your lips and your moles. I’m broken by the fact that someone else is going be touching you, loving you and kissing you. I’m happy because you deserve to be touched, loved and kissed, even if its not by me.

I won't waste my tears on you
I won't allow myself to break down and cry
My life has revolved around you for 18 months and 7 days
I ******* hate myself for knowing that  
If could go back to the day we met, I probably would have stayed in bed

sometimes I can't help but think how my life would be without you

you make me more depressed than happy
but I know deep down you wish you could make me smile
it's not your fault it's mine
I should have stayed in line.
but the things I feel always get caught in the way
im sorry that I love you, dear
I really wish I hadn't
I am really sorry that I love you, dear
sometimes these things happen.

She was 25 years young.
and beautiful

beautifulˈbjuːtɪfʊl,ˈbjuːtɪf(ə)l/
adjective
pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically.“beautiful poetry" synonyms: attractive, pretty, handsome, good-looking, nice-looking, pleasing, alluring, prepossessing, as pretty as a picture; More of a very high standard; excellent." he spoke in beautiful English”

She made everything feel temporary
my problems
my fears
my thoughts
my love
She was just amazing, wonderful even
She had dark, tousled hair, and the most beautiful eyes; I got lost in them every chance I got
They were brown eyes, but **** they were mesmerizing
They would glow in the light and I couldn’t help but fall into them
She had the most Delphic and inimitable tattoos that I’ve ever seen on one single person, they decorated her porcelain skin perfectly and poetically.
I liked times where we would just lay, with our feet tangled together and I would trace one of the tattoos and she would reminisce about it and the experiences she had during that time in her life.
Her knowledge amazed me, she always kept me on the edge of my seat with her stories
Her voice was one of the things that captured me, her melodies and her lyrics. She knew I loved jazz, we would go to record shops and we would scope for the good ones and at times I would stop to look over at her and she’ll be staring at me. I complained but god knows I loved it. I loved her.
I loved the times when she would walk over to the single window in the cheap motel that we stayed the night or two at, and she would light a cigarette and scold me for being around the smoke; but she would cave and hold it up to my lips and she would look me in the eye as I cough the smoke up.
Those were the time I loved
They were the times I lived for

She would always tell me to not love her
That she wasn’t worth my innocent and tender love
But I disagreed
Time and time again
She was everything I wanted but didn’t ******* deserve
But what significance are all these words coming from a sixteen-year-old, who is now learning and experiencing life?
It was bound to end.

sometimes I sit and think
is what Im doing is really a sin?
loving someone just like me,
is that something people hate to see?
I'll never truly understand why loving someone with the same gender as myself
could cause an uproar as big as this and throw everything off the shelf