Deontra' Demeritte: Favorites

Jun 2015 Deontra' Demeritte

Untitled

Jun 2015 Deontra' Demeritte

KA Lix

Untitled

you said you were leaving

i was overwhelmed by this happiness

you were finally out of my life

i could finally be free

so you packed your things, you went to your car and loaded it

then,

you turned to me

pulled out a handgun

and shot me in the chest

my skin tore and presented a large gaping hole

and from it poured bright red disappointment

my ribs cracked and out rolled my heart onto the concrete of my patio

you laughed a hearty laugh with wicked undertones

you shoved your gun into your pocket

watched me choke, watched me scream at the top of my lungs, struggle for air, struggle for anything

then towered me, bent down swiftly and picked up the bleeding thing

you smirked at me, "only taking what's mine"

i never saw you again

#love #heartbreak #broken #bleeding #blood #**** #killing #unrequited #****** #hearts

Jun 2015 Deontra' Demeritte

r&r.

Jun 2015 Deontra' Demeritte

Rachael

r&r.

for every tear I shed that you didn't cause but helped to wipe away.
for every laugh I had that you made happen because you know it'd make my day.
for every apology you've given when you did nothing wrong.
for every time you've kissed my face, my neck, my lips to make me weak.
for every promise you've made and never broken.
for every wise word you've said to help me with my problems.
for every time you swore you'd **** anyone that ever hurt me.
for every time you've listened to my annoying and random stories with attentiveness.
for every song you've ever sung to me to melt my heart.
for every smile you gave and made to brighten my day.
for every hug and every time you held me close to make this love last.
for every time you've ever said the words I love you to me because I know you meant them..
for you, I am grateful.
to you, I am indebted.
for you, I don't mind.

and so to you, I love you.

[r.r.r.w]

to my first love, the one that has helped me bloom ever so gracefully.

#love #appreciation #bond

Jun 2015 Deontra' Demeritte

Yin.

Jun 2015 Deontra' Demeritte

Gem S

Yin.

When you feel the wall going up between you two,
Slowly at first and reaching 7 stories high,
Know that you have lost.
Know that he has lost interest and is looking elsewhere
for someone else that has smiles like sun rays and moonshine in her eyes.
Know that when you see him look at another girl the way he used to look at you, that you indeed, have lost him.
And you cannot get him back.
When others and even you, question whether they’re in a relationship,
When he stops calling you his princess and starts calling her his queen,
When he talks to her all day long about nothing and only messages you to say, “I hope everything’s okay”,
Know that he no longer cares.
That you had a special place but you lost it,
And the girl that made him feel less lonely, he now spends his nights and days with.

See, the way to see someone’s true colors is to make them wait.
To make them wait months for you to be theirs, even if it’s for your own good, just make them wait.
They will promise to wait at first and then get bored and then leave.
And when they show you their true colors, do not try to repaint them.
Do not try to hang a beautiful picture over their face,
Pack your **** up and move on.
Because you deserve better.
Because the right guy will wait years for the love of his life.
Because he won’t hold someone else’s hand to make the wait easier.
Because if he can’t wait, the gift just wasn’t for him.

mood // The Knowing

-g.e.s.

I will try to move on tomorrow unsuccessfully.

#love #heartbreak #separation

Jun 2015 Deontra' Demeritte

The ART of Emotional Misconception

Jun 2015 Deontra' Demeritte

Gem S

The ART of Emotional Misconception

With all due respect, you make the oxygen rush uneasily into my lungs, paining the edges every time you speak, and I find it that your absence also does just that. Pain my lungs every time I think of you, that is, every time I breathe in the scent of coconut oil & the rays of the sun that you're not here. Accompanied by saltiness for whatever girl you could have wrapped around your tongue in efforts of finding someone better than I am, when you return I still find myself wrapped up too, venturing deeper and deeper into your mind, and your body.

I know this was supposed to be me explaining what my anxiety felt like in that moment you dared to say “you wouldn't mind risking falling in love w me”, but the train tracks in my mental are extremely hazardous, and my thoughts frequently wander. Despite this, my body had been making the adjustments, to allow me to see nothing but how the moonlight would look on your chest when I'd take you out to the beach at night, and transform myself to become a part of you, despite feverish attempts to not take you seriously, to not take anyone seriously…You can’t possibly want to love me. But…we are cute huh? (luna y sol)...te echo de menos -- and the absence of someone is always a hard rock when thrown and harder when felt. And as my chest tightens and oxygen pumps through less parts of my body...I love the feel of my lightheadedness...if only you were the cause.

Listen, I have no problem being your sun AND your moon and allowing every bit of emotion in me to get slandered and thrown up into the sky every minute of every day, I have no problem respecting you and the person you want to turn into, I’m already to far gone in love with the idea of being loved by you. But my mind has a non-permeable guard up to keep the butterflies away that I feel every time I speak to you, though they fly over anyway. Pain demands to be felt, and I allow pain in every time in my dreams when you say "love", but allowing it to stay is something this conscious me hasn't figured out yet. But hopefully I will, and at the same time start remembering to breathe again.

-g.e.s.

some **** I wrote like a year ago after a breakdown, unedited.

#love #anxiety #infatuation

May 2015 Deontra' Demeritte

You are priceless.

May 2015 Deontra' Demeritte

Alex

You are priceless.

You are more than the price tag on your clothes,
More than the number on the scale.
You are more than the grades you are given,
& the pants size you fit in.

You are more than the number of friends you have,
More than the reflection in the mirror.
You’re flawless because you’re his creation.
I can’t make in any clearer.

I am not religious but this was made to be for anyone to read.

#love #god #happy #you #selflove #worth #accept #bodyimage