Well,
memories,
hemorrhages
well
up from the sticky hole.

One time, I fell and hit my head
three times, three places, once in each:
the cabinet, the sink, the bathtub.

Practice being me by proxy.
Out of my head. Out my head.
Tangible damages,
incorporeal skeins.
Mess? Wreck. Heck,

This time, I stood and cracked
my skull on the cabinet:
Clarity? Is that you?

Practiced being me by proxy,
so so long.
Practiced being me by proxy.
Practiced being me by proxy,
so so long.
Practiced being me by proxy.

Clarity?
Or is this
an actual
hemorrhage?

Well,
Memory,
my sticky hole
is filling up
where the water was ****** by the ground.

It seems to always come to this.
Crying at night, multiple showers.
Getting dressed and leaving at night.

I keep missing the mark.
How do I not see it?
Things are worse then they have ever been.
I feel like I should just leave.

I don't know anymore.
I don't know anything.
Maybe I'm not cut out for this.
Maybe I'll die like this.

I should give up because it is easy.
I don't do well with hard work.  
If I do, you will know you weren't worth it.
You are, maybe just not me.

I just want to die.
Get life over with.
If I do, maybe you can find somebody new.
Let's hope you do.

No matter how hard you work...
No matter how much you make...
No matter how much it takes...
It is never enough.

Let me say that again!
It it never enough.
You live your whole life to make as much as possible.
No matter the cost.

Work 3 jobs, work over 60 hours a week.
Only to get a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment.
Because you have to have your own bathroom.
You have to have the best of everything.

You talk about your dream house.
Yet you can't even afford to fix up the house you live in.
Talk about how many people are going to leave you money when they die.
Why?
To talk about how rich you'll be.

Here I am.
Scraping by.
In a cheap apartment.
Barely afford to get groceries.

But you know it's no skin off my back.
I have something way better than being rich.
At least I have a place to live and a job.
I have a girlfriend who I would die for.

Some things are better than money.
I am glad I know this.
I am glad I don't run in circles for it.
Life is what you make it.

If that's what you make it about, that's okay.
I choose to believe there is more to life than that.

The fear that is always there in the back of your head.
Spreading fast to the heart, as your awareness raises.
Is better to ride it out or bottle it up?
The feeling comes in so fast you barely have time to breathe.
Every possible outcome going through your mind.
Not sure where to stop it.
Then you know you should trust.
But the fear is always there.
Ready to make waves in the calm ocean.