The dream I dreamed tonight
Was me with a cabin light
A cliff by the seaside,
I watched the falling stars
The sky turned purple
and I heard the singing grass
You flew to my side
and together we laughed
on how silly is the night owl,
to be drinking tea at night
I had a pet white tiger
and a carriage made of clouds
And a set of picnic materials,
I had you by myside
Was it a paradise?

The joy I felt was everlasting,
I did not wish to say goodbye
We listened to invented melodies
and slept to  mythical charms
of how happiness will  always stay,  
how undefeated we will be
I heard you plead,  "Don't leave me",  
I responded with a smile
There, I promised to fight,
for you I will thrive
I am brave in a dream,
I am strong in a dream
Was it paradise?

I dreamed a dream tonight
And never will I wake up
I dreamed of you tonight
I missed your little laughs

Goodbye to you my love.

The devices are now altered
and then you know your worth
for the small time you were remembered
and then the next you are unheard

You were never to be flaterred
when the sweet words arrive
you hold a pen and a paper
and write your songs from heart

A basket in the corner
there is no paper crumbs
for you give each piece importance
the mistakes, a part of art

The songs heard in speaker
of undying love of past
the words guided by rhythm
you, the artist of the month

Let us hear the voice that struggled
to tell nothing of lies
a story with honest trembles
of things that always hunt

No, anger is fed with madness
for the understanding is compelled
that people won't give significance
when now, your relevance ends

We might have met in August,
such an expected incident
I held the crown with one hand
as I play the king of games
We made friends, we told tales,
and soon agreed to flee
That with the trust that I gave you,
I let you held the key
For a friend was my illusion,
like happy insanity
You were there, you made it real,
I was taught to laugh and play

But then again, as old men says,
nothing stays the same
I was wrong, or, you got caught,
I was sure that you gave up
That the only thing that I have left,
was in your hands instead
And you played king with my crown and keys,
I did felt the shame

That I hoped, and that I wished,
that maybe it's okay to lead
That maybe I can grow and make dreams,
that I'd become a friend
That someday I'd make keys,
and make a happy place

But it was all just a dream,
now a broken memory
You made me grow, you built me up,
and shattered me in place
I sit here and this I write,
as a broken masterpiece.

It sounded too ironic
that the person can't take stand
when the people that they trusted
wouldn't even lend a hand

and their words that made memories
that world where they were glad
it all is slowly vanishing
melting with the sun

some people would not value you
even if you offer life
importance is only given
to those they'd benefit from

and yes, I am disappointed
feeling used then trashed
I just wished I mattered
that they would understand

I too am, I am a person
That I too, get fed up

I have always dreamt of running
to a place far from here
my name would not ring a bell
and my manners are not shunned or shamed

Maybe with air that freely flows
to the crevice of my opened windows
no curtains of clothes hanging
or the foul smell of smoke

Is it too much to wonder
if I succeeded years ago
If my bravery did not falter
would I be freed, or, be caged?

I just wonder if it'd bring peace
or anger and rage
these days I am just a baggage
all my words are always kept.

If I were a better person,
I'd tell you that I've liked you
The way you consume food
not caring what others would think so
Your smile that all along
has been my medicine
I liked the way you scold me
and call me stupid things
I was happy with the very idea
that you became a friend.

But I am me,
not the person I'm expected to be
The complications gave in,
all the best I've had within
I was a candle with no candlewick,
nowhere to lit a fire in
I cannot tell you that I have liked you,
in the next life, I promise to.

Grandma brought me with her
in an open space by the back
with soft grass and watery mud
I have found a peaceful lot
I would sit there with her
as she weaved this colored stripes
brown, red, blue, and a little of green too

the lawn smelled nice and I breathe
the wind is cool and I sang
fell asleep and I woke up
but then she was gone
the banig she made was still there
it faded slowly too, like in a dream

The grass grew taller,
water got deeper
and I got a little older,
cried a little harder
all I saw was this kite
I used to love to fly
now I wish it carry messages
of the words I failed to speak

I made it now Ina, there was no stage though, maybe because you won't be watching me march, so it is fine. See? I made it through. I know you would be saying, "I am proud of you."

The swooshing of an aircraft
as I struggled to image paint
not knowing that all of my body
is the sailcloth, a masterpiece

My eyes is blinded by madness
and I would blame an empty head
and the blade that was my weapon
is used to myself instead

Who will defend me, a woeful being
will you sacrifice your creed?
If the waves of the ocean water
they will drown you to your death

I am the moon lover
and the rain is my mistress
When they see me together
I am the king of chains

And we all will gleam simultaneous
the light, the water, and flame
oh! the two of them outshined me
still, I am bewitched.

Tear the layer of this sheath
where he ran through his mitt
her hands strayed and pinched
that it was grazed in too deep

Lift it from my face
he had whispered, shushed my name
in where she touched on and snick
and my innocence was raid

Let it burn to flames
in the branch of hopelessness
I was in agony
to crawl off of my veins

If you ever saw me in green
then it was purple in my range
it was yellow on my smell
but screamed red in the end.

I gripped the sad movie-
a lonesome, desperate grip
begging that it falters
to provide me with pain
trigger my ever-breaking
everlasting schemes

Do I have to call it hunger
or call it desperate
is it wanting, exalting
or just a basic clique
is my wish of free falling
pitiful and bleak?

I try to summon tears
agony, or fear
pain? maybe glory
any- kind to feel
in this hollow-like pattern
it suffocated me
c r u c i a t u s

The night is gazing over, delicately yet lush
in a narrowed path by the meadow, filthy yet spry
where a little hidden blue eyes, cold but did survived
looked up for another twilight, in beauty but unjust
it's little auburn eyebrows, muddy yet defined
Furrowed slowly in bright light, dreadful but alright
thinking of what things to conquer, ignorant yet will pry
and the events that will take them for granted, addled yet aspires
when hunger and thirst relinquish, empty but will trance
they wait for another night lamp, asleep yet alive

Hold me in your paw,
show me warmth and grow
Be the fluffy little bear hug
to play and make me glow
In gentle arms I will carry you,
feed you food and love
With short tail and long ones,
ginger and not

Make friends with me, pal

I have bigger hands and
you have sharp fangs
We will play catch as I laugh
in your silly feline acts
My little fury companion,
a mystery to some
Let us walk the path of short life
and let us be one
To the direction of tomorrow,
I hope to see you run

Make friends with me, pal
Calm me down and give me love
Make friends with me, pal
See you in another life.

In the crook of my sanity
sat this poor little me
bereft of reason
naught of gold
one with the concrete
so cold and bold
not for wisdom
never for hope
full of wishes
for food and cloth
if I beg, will it stop?
if I cry, will I drop-
if I jump, will it be better?
and I could laugh
and cry
and tell them I am
still, still stuck there
now, better at hiding
full of warmth
from my blood sweater
sewn from shame
and disappointment
it never gets better
it only gets quiet
and you drown in silence
and acceptance,
that fate is this
it is meant to be.

The curtains swayed the distance
And your laugh a little light
Her eyes slowly wandered
Why this room so vast and wide?

Do I end here in the sideways
Or do I walk in muddy plains
Do I take your time for granted
Did you want someone to blame?

Was I that awful lover
Was I that boring friend
You held my hand to cradle
How your blade tore my skin?

So I took a deep breather
Person,  you can go ahead
What I felt was immaculate
Will you set me free instead?

People made me wonder
the blueness of a leaf
as it swung in different reasons
in a tree that is not his

for she thought the wind is better
from the top of the debris
but it was too strong to handle
that the color in it fade

into a pale and bare kindness
the twig's won't speak about
and we all sat around waiting
for the last leaf to give up

by the end of this summer
I pray to the one above
to let it rest, please, gently
as it falls into the ground.

I guess I am a worrier
But it is purely out of love
She is my safe haven
To her I'm a safety net

We're we made for each other?
I doubt and I don't care
It'd be hard to assume perfection; when
The world isn't immaculate

We are both too chaotic
Too charred to be pristine
Scarred, it's never-ending
But we try to live as is

Sunshines and rainbows,
Cloudy skies and meadows,
Storms and tempests,
All bearable with you.

The drama queen
can I play,
the drama queen?
she who was left alone
with the revenge
that she had drawn
exaggerations in her sobs
and fairly lengthy roars
I wonder if I can act
like how the showbiz
wrote in facts

The dram queen
oh! let me play,
the drama queen
I think I can react
more than she does
I should must
be more emotionless
make an oversensitive rant
I too, can hold a gun
I can tie the ropes in lines
to surpass her is a job
the easiest form at that

So, will you let me
to just play the drama queen?
that person behind a mask
behind her angry glaring eyes
the vengeance that she had
against herself for all the odds
this imperfect scars surrounds
that she always drag around
the drama queen
who's been broken,
by the fact that
nobody cared enough.

Blood gushed in, flooding my brain
from the lane before the highway
the Staples before the flame
the words that made a laughter
it hurts and blanketed dread

By the match box is my name
written in small words of despair
but even matches do not lit
for I lack all the masculine
and the feminity of flare

I'm ashamed as it tricked me
as the reality unfolds me
and my little mask of happy thoughts
they came back to original posts
I apologize that this I'm born

saying it makes my skin tingle
the back of my throat burns
bile comes shooting from the pit
of my stomach, till my mouth is bitter

I hate every inch of this body
and this mind that's too ticklish
it could pop, like a bubble
but stronger than a rock

all this haughty facade
is easily brittle, the blisters
seeping through my soul
and I bleed, an immortal

I work in progress-
but I am marked red,
unwanted by the gods
and rejected by the devil

Me, the oathbreaker

I looked at the stars and named them, light, bright, spark, giggle
I throw a rock in the river and waited for the monster to come
I will call them carter, jake, scar, groomer
I touched the trees with magic and called it "iron twig", I laughed
With conviction I ran after the bug and called it by the name "bree"

Soon, my feet took me to a place, well lit with thunder blades
I called it "beauty", I stayed to the place and found peace
I changed the name to "home".. a beautiful home
The wizards from the nearby village gave me food, they were dressed in white and they brought with them tools

They never let me borrow the tools
And they stare at me with such scrutinizing eyes
They sometimes tries to drag me from my beautiful home
but I stayed, I always stay

One day I woke up and I am in a one-door-room
the wizards are injecting something to my body, I cannot move
what is happening? what is happening.
my home is gone and I'm detained
They kept looking like I was crazy and they injected me again

I fell asleep and dreamed of a nightmare
It was as if I have gone deranged
they put me inside a bulding that said
"Home for the Mentally Insane"

Never did I woke up again

Does being strong require that I come crumbling under pressure with the guise of bravery to cover the bleeding that the pavements scrapped within my being?

Does being strong require me to be undaunted, brave to pain, and be iron-minded that no thoughts of rest shall pass upon the cage I built, made up of screams that I swallow in times of despair?

Why does being strong require me to hurt, and hurt with no one understanding that I too am just an ordinary person, that although I'd take a bullet, it does not mean I am heroic, sometimes I wished the bullet would avoid my flesh that is so brittle by the times.

Does strong really have to be sacrificial on my part? Just because I can be mean to maintain order that I'd have to be punished, when to prevent chaos I chose to keep it a circus in my head, that keeps me up all night.

if there exists,
God, please
help me,
I might be losing
this battle.

I have gone through many changes
In the past and in the nights
Many spark in eye of a stranger
I saw my time in duller dime

The time when I was still an angel
Where I can laugh, a little mice
And people liked me for many reasons
And they asked of me of what I want

Now, I am just a little  vicious
I hurt and lie to all the right
The sun shone a different shade and
The night gave life to my demise

I still loved the scent of my demons
And learned that life is a surprise
Everyday I am just the same girl
But is different to your made mind

Do not forget the smile I treasured
And love me still when I'm long gone
Till then I'll make my silly rhymes and
It is of you I'll think about

I am tired of giving
and lending, comforting
to never try

just sick of breaking
and betting, gambling
but not to cry

if only I could sleep
and dream, resting
without this drug

to receive is wishing
and pleading, exhausting
all my might

if this is living
then it is not worth it
I'd rather lie

my words are incoherent
verbose, assaulting
may it survive

I was drenched in color orange
lightening hue of the sun
beneath the shadow of music
where the violin string unclasped
the rhythm of their wailing
into one beautiful lyre

an angel feather fallen
because God forbidden me
from chasing axes with mixes
of hate and despair that run
the smiles from their faces
then made it into innocence gone

the forsaken forest spirits
now dwell into the grounds
made up of lilies and roses
trying to hear the sound
from my tree of despair, oozing
with my arrogance and my lies

I do not think that people
will ever understand
the mind of poetry,
to leave these words behind
and hoping that someday
the steps I walked on by
will catch me by the hand
be my memory,
be my sanity,

We do not fight monsters
we fight illusions
that are much better
than this reality
where we are stronger,
wiser, richer, and full.

I want to take the hat off
And then wave my goodbye.

I am a child with a suitcase,
A woman with a crane
Taking each step with little strength,
then falling over again

I am a child that ran over,
A man with no name
Helding my hands in the sky,
begging for the rain

I was the falling paper,
from the tree of neglect
Rushed with the wind,
heavied by water, loved by the pain

I became the small pebble
that talked to little grains
Ignored and dumbfounded
and stinged by bolts of gale

I went to take the hat off,
with a smile that never fade
Soon, I will take this hat off.
So long! To you my friend.

Will my hunger be fed
when there's nothing I gave care
Not enough emotion to let me dwell within
The thirst for jurisdiction
for love and affection
They all seem to not possibly exist

The reasons attached in strings
that I tied my heart onto
Now a broken stationaire
with a bleeding soul in ropes
I watched the sun to fall.
Was it reality at fault?
Or my irregular recalls
of events that might be false

I just
I don't know anymore.

I am sad and angry
So drained and noisy

Exhausted with the tears
Your name chiming in my head

And the void is screaming
"Tell me your vain",

But no, I won't answer
I just stared into it's flame

I want it to touch me
And I want it to burn

With the holy of my water
From deep within my scorn

It was red but lighter
It was blue but thick

And I let it drown me
Till you call back my name

people don't talk to me anymore
eventually, I am trash
my help is not help anymore
eventually, I am rash
and I will forget them, the existence
and some will be forgiven
but the me, the confused me
I do not understand
why I'm always left behind
and a friend was all I ever asked

To me, to me
Happy Birthday
But why does it feel
like I have lost a fight
like  a burden I am lit
with all these burning ice
blue as the sunlight
red as the wind
why do I regret
that I was born in the end

to me, to me
happy birthday
like mockery, like a joke
a spear spit
through my soul
blue as winter
red as fall
all I feel is kindess
for my dead soul

yet, I still regret
that I was born

This rain protector is white
but through it you'll see night
buttoned in three and one
nails and sharp pointers
for your hands
touch it and you'll feel
how it makes the rain appear
raincoat, raincoat, hello to you
will you give shade to these people
to not stain the wool they've worn
ha ha it is raining, madness is awake
ha ha it is falling, the psychotic within
hurt people, hurt the many
and laugh when they cry for pain
rain coat, rain rain coat
shade me from the rain

I tried to learn to paint
when my left hand is still bare
with all of the sanctity
that I tearfully held

It cut through my wrists
and my palm, it's ragged edge
still I held onto the brush
as I tried to image paint

For this time they're not lies
my goddess will not cry
for this time I won't bide
to the words my heart commads

So I'll paint, do teach me
how to grip your thorny brush
sworn someday, this forsaken mind
will have a masterpiece in hand

there's little holes
in my skull
plucked on, one by one
like a beak peaked on
it, it is bleeding empty
of black hue of air
it is hurting lightly
of ants stinging there

so exhausting, so cold
a blanket wrapped me
in dread full of coals
the lines in it mocked me
servant of putrid-ness
that word does not exist
like my smile is evil'ed
still, listen and hear