I don’t care
And it’s as simple as that
I’ve given up even trying
Maybe I want to care
But I just can’t
Not anymore
Because I’ve been doing
My very best
To care
For so long
Yet you’ve hardly given
A single effort
For me.
I didn’t want to stop caring
I tried to hold onto it
But it slipped through my fingers
And now as hard as I try
I simply cannot care.
And I don’t care
That you don’t care
Because you’ve numbed me
To just about everything.

Scenario's
Far too many scenario's
There are good ones
and bad ones
and those in between.
I can't comprehend them all
so my mind chooses for me
and maybe I shouldn't let it
Because it seems to favor
the worst of them
the ones that twist
my already twisted stomach
and shake
my already shaky hands.
From time to time
A bright, and happy scenario
crosses my mind
and for a minute
I get to imagine
something good.
But those moments
only last for a little while
before my mind
drags me
to the worst case scenario's

Your words,
oh your sweet and wonderful words
your beautiful and perfect words
Your terrible, horrible, misleading words.
Your words
that convinced me
that you care
that you understand
that you maybe even love me.
I was too naive before,
to see the truth.
Your truth
is full of lies
and deceit.
And how terrible
it was for me.
Believing in you
and your misleading words.
If only I had seen through them
before I had fallen so deep
to believe
your blatantly cruel and misleading words.
Maybe then
I could have stopped
the pain and suffering I felt
when you finally walked away
leaving your misleading words
to haunt me.

"What a time to be alive"
She shouts over the crowd
As her mind sinks lower
and her anxieties climb higher
and she realizes
just how little she believes
in her very own words.

Sometimes,
you need to have a bad day,
you need to listen to sad music,
you need to have doubts,
you need to hate your closest friends,
you need to have a down moment,
you need to cry,
or scream,
or just be
whatever it is you need.
Because sometimes,
that is the only way you can recover.

Time, time, time
there's always too much
or just not enough
and nobody ever seems
to just be happy
with what time
they already have

People come
and people go
and we are taught
to accept it
not to fight it
not to try
and make a difference
maybe I don't want
everybody or anybody
to leave me
maybe I want
to fight
for some to stay.