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 Jan 2015 Charlotte Jane
Cristina
have a toast for your new host
which may be a new you,
a brand new day is ahead,
rise your glass of hope and love
to touch the sky, to drink it all
or at least try to do so,
a new year may be the next challenge,
so wake up in the morning and have the courage
to dare greatly and enjoy the achievements in life.
It’s that month again where everything’s frozen.
The earth, the air—it’s like time is broken.
I tell myself I just have to make it through one more January.
Then maybe I’ll be okay in the arms of February.
March will soon pass, carrying with it the Spring.
Perhaps the tears of April shall return my wings.
May will twist its roots through the damp earth.
Then June shall arrive and Summer will give birth
to the heat of July and a sky, cloudless blue.
I’ll be thinking of August, the month I first kissed you,
and remembering those years we spent together.
So long, yet so short, but somehow felt like forever.
Again it will be September, the month of your accident.
It was that same Fall, we found out I was pregnant.
Through October, I’ll build nothing but dread.
By the time November comes, I’ll be halfway dead.
December is preparation not for a beginning, but an end.
The cold Winters of January will return once again.
That was the month I lost you and our baby.
Time hasn’t healed me; every day feels like January.
But I promised myself I would make it through.
I must conquer each January. I must continue;
I am much unwell every January. I may not post for a while.
For sure, something will be posted on the 19th.

01.01.15
(It's weird writing the year...***)
© J.E. DuPont
I'm so scared.

I'm so scared of what you will mean to me at 4:00 in the morning,
when I get to thinking most about my life
and that much thinking
can't possibly be alright.

I'm scared that maybe you are just a mirror of 2014,
an illusion made for laughing at all of us
who think maybe we can do better this time.
This time we'll change for sure.
This is it.

And 2015, dear friend,
I'm scared that maybe this time I won't make it
to the hopeful beginning of 2016
When I can say again with conviction
that this is the year we'll be great.

Yes, we will be legendary.

This is it.
Reverse the question.
Question the reverse.
The answers might surprise you.

Answer the question.
Question the answer.
The problem is never solved.

Solve the problem.
Problem the solved.
Impossible possibilities.
I won't forget the day you said
That you will love me forever
And with that glow in my finger
I entrusted my life to you
My past
My present
My future
All of me
Is yours.

I don't know why you left me
Sailing alone
You started smiling
While I'm here
Waiting for your help.

You waved your hand
Like boasting
The absence of your ring
While curving a confident grin
From that face I longed to touch
But slowly fading from my eyes.

Into the sea
You left me
Drowning
From the misery
Of your retreat
But, no!
I struggled
To swim
And live
For you
Because I was still hoping
That one day
You'll come back
To rescue me

But you never did.

Now I have learned
To swim against the waves
Reached the shore
And can play with the sea-

   I don't need you anymore.
For her...

*A new version of an old piece. I altered the last verse then added another , then the final line.

A FREE verse.  LOL
You
I was there with you that day
You went to the doctor with the pain
I thought it would be ok
But we both cried
When the doctor
Said
That you had cancer
I was with you every step of the way
You had the treatment
But still day by day
You got weaker
And weaker
Until you couldn't  eat anymore
They said you were going to die
But I didn't believe it
Till the very last day
When you lay there in bed
Knowing what was going to happen
You hugged me one last time
And said I love you
I turned away from the bed
I cried for days on end
Never stopping
I still cry today
But it's hidden
Just like you
In my heart
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