Lash me with my hopes and dreams.
I am ******* hurt.
I am in ******* pain.
I am trying not to be ******* angry.
I am trying not to feel it all.
I am trying and failing.
I am trying not to detest,
I am trying not forget my soul.
I am always trying to be happy.
I am always failing to be.
I am always teased with light
I am always tricked into darkness.
I am always wishing.
I wish I could be better.
I wish I wasn't scared.
I wish I didn't feel this pain.
I wish this doesn't last the forever it already has.
I wish some day.
I wish I get to be happy.
I don't want to fall first again,
Palms always getting sweaty from the thinking in my head.
Never understood the situations that I read,
So I guess I'll hold my tongue instead.
Too tired of a broken heart,
And hitting restart.
Never found love,
But always found myself in it.
This time I'd rather wait.
I'll risk missing it,
If they cant see my heart
Then maybe it isn't meant to be.
I am not willing to participate once more in futility.
I hate where I am.
I hate who I am.
I hate that I live this way.
I hate that I breath.
I hate that I love.
I hate that I feel.
I hate all of me.
I hate that no one sees.
I hate that all I have is regret.
I hate that I am not who I am.
I hate this poem.
I hate it all.
Bred by the fire,
Yet jumped too early in.
These flames seared skin
Till they felt of sin.
Time took its toll,
Yet the fire still brought fear.
Now frozen from the cold,
The warmth of the flames beckons me near.
I hate myself for the things I do.
All of it torments my mind,
And hindsight is but a curse for my overthinking.
I fill with fear,
To many thoughts in my head,
So many unseen outcomes that spiral through my eternity.
Nothing ever goes the way of happiness,
And content is a feeling I have lost recollection of.
I wish to try again,
For looking at what I am now...
I hate myself.
Maybe the timing was wrong,
Or maybe it was perfect
For what's to come.