I.    Scared
This is real for me
This is love to me.
And some days I’m scared out of my mind at how genuine this is.
Nothing has ever felt this authentic to me, other than maybe pain.
This is new to me.
You read the stories and love is this all powerful magic and its so **** powerful that it scares me. It scares me that this thing, this emotion, may rip my heart out of my chest and leave it in a million little pieces.
I’m not scared of you,
I’m not scared of us,
I’m not scared of a fight,
I’m not scared of love,
I’m not scared of forever,
And I’m definitely not scared of heartbreak, my heart has known its scars and I’m not afraid of gathering more.
I’m scared of an ending that’s everything but happy,
I’m scared of the strength of my feelings,
scared I’ll let you down,
scared I’ll hurt you,
scared of anything and everything, all my demons coming out to play and every inch of me is screaming run.
I’m scared that I’ll run,
I’m scared of losing you,
of not being enough.
But as scared as I am, I’m willing to fight for this.
For us.
For our forever
Our happy ever after.

II.    Two
Two souls, more different yet similar than most, met while on their own paths.
They continued together for a while, like many others.
A poet and a soldier, each claiming their own hell, living in their own darkness.
Finding comfort in each other’s arms.

III.    Love
How do you measure a relationship?
By the future?
By the arguments?
I’ve always measured it by how far I could see down the road.
And honestly, with some I could see into 20’s or 30’s, but never the end of our road. Those thoughts were foggy, these are too but more clear, everything is blurred but your face, where with them everything but their face was clear.
With them, I saw lives I didn’t want, lives that were comfortably numb. I saw superficial happy endings.
But with you I see my forever.
I see 5 years down the road, chasing dreams
I see 10 years, building a family
I see 15 years, balancing life
I see 40 years, retiring
I see 50 years, walking down random city streets, hands intertwined
I see 60+ years and meeting again someday in another existence  

I see forever with you
I want forever with you.

Two eased from the sedan.
A blanket, a brimming wicker basket.
A pond filled with geese, the birds claiming the embankment.
Water’s edge, he spun the blanket outward and
The geese scattered, and the cloth descended in an almost perfect square.
The valley’s familiar diversions, the white steeple a mile away,
Copses scattered acres apart, poked above the low brush.
Elbows propped in the afternoon heat  
Listening to the rustlings in the bramble
Until the valley’s natural rhythms brought him sleep.
Awakened to the rustling of paper,
He watched her scatter bread crumbs,
Circling the water with goslings in tow as they
Nuzzled at the bits of dough, an odd parade
Until a goose made chase, and the dithered fowl
Marched her brood away
And the woman laughed an undignified laugh in delight.
Alone, glasses descended from his furrowed brow,
An envelope withdrawn,
Elegant script, long luxurious parchment perused and then
Extended to her on her return.
Her lined face turned away, skyward,
The glorious heat warming, much preferred
Above the chilling words.
Together, they sat until the day had cooled
And she wrapped herself in a thick sweater and
Their shadows distorted as they relinquished the day,
He guiding her in the gloaming before the beams of light
Bounced unpredictably in the irregular road.

Separate beds and shades
Of reds. Intimacy is
A ****** handprint.

I woke up at eight
Ate breakfast before it was too late

Wrote some poetry with a pen
Then took a nap at half past ten

I woke up again at one
Went outside and basked in the sun

I ate a big lunch at two
Before I tied my left shoe

I arrived there at a quarter to three
I was at the library filled with glee

I left the old books around six
Wandered around and kicked some sticks

I walked home at eight
Since it was getting too dark and late

I ate a snack at nine
And talked to some friends online

I put on my pajamas at ten
Then I went to sleep and repeated the cycle again

C-hoose prudently...let crazy faces be imprisoned in the past

R-ecall...relive moments we went cold with fright and terror

I-nsouciant, we become, when problems are resolved...but, we cannot

S-idestep old fears, sorrow.......Let's do something, for change...We've

E-ndured hardships...we've become sun-baked adobe bricks...For once, let's

S-eek space...meditate...focus on lessons learned...from past CRISES.

                            (six lines of ten words)


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Sally

Copyright May 5, 2016
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

Tales strung with cobwebs
We want sparks
We try on hats
Poorly chosen

Reflective surfaces
New awareness
Poor form
Do they know
Powder room visits

Recalling lists on websites of
Foods to avoid
Habits they like
Traits you want
Times to act
Oh God
Please don't

Nothing to lose, all in
And all of that.

Head bowed
Nails dug in
Free of stealth
Spill.
And spend the night
Regretting your guts
Took so **** long.