I can see the tears behind your brave smile
even though you keep your head held high mile after mile.
I know of the pain you bear in every inch of your heart and soul;
it spreads like wildfire through every fibre of your being & you're no longer whole.

I am BPD.
I am the demon that possesses your mind,
I am the ghost of all you want to leave behind.
I am the monster that will make you unstable,
The voice in your head making you suicidal.
I am your heart making your emotions intense,
I am your mind, muddled and making no sense.
I am your brain making you neurotic,
With the perfect balance of a handful of psychotic.
I am your self-esteem making you feel worthless,
I will make sure you feel that you have no purpose.
I am your impulsiveness making you act reckless;
Your need to harm yourself is becoming endless.
I am your soul feeling neglected,
You feel it very deeply because you need to be protected.
I am your extreme paranoia,
Making you live in a shell, I’m a merciless destroyer.
I am your fear of rejection, you will outburst at the slightest disaffection.
So, I am BPD and I will ruin your life,
I will cover you in scars made by the blade of a knife.

I'm lying on the pink carpeted floor,
bleeding, crying... what's this life for?

I'm underneath the spot where I tried to hang,
with a rope around my neck, I hit the floor with a bang.

I don't want to be like this anymore,
please just show me Heaven's door.
Earth just isn't for me,
why is that so hard for others to see?

Lacerations around my neck,
the next morning all I hear is "what the heck?"
but I lie and say my headphones got caught,
they believe every word I say - I'm distraught.

Why can't anyone see how much pain I'm in?
This is no longer a battle I can win.
Nobody cares, I will not be missed,
death is calling and I cannot resist.