Dear world,
Sometimes the words choose to lace their fingers onto my throat and strangle me for my very being of expression or existence
But I have nothing to say.
The world has broken me so very much,
That sulking into the depths of the earth does not sound like such a bad idea
I grip my pen, like I grip onto my life,
But my hands are sweaty and giving up doesn't seem like such a bad idea,
The only problem being that I'm hopeful and letting go isn't something my heart
Takes light

My mind and heart are in constant battle
I'm always trying to figure out who to settle, into an issue
I've made a decision
My mind, I'm sticking with
My heart, this isn't worth my
Time
My mind's telling me to leave.
To pick up and go and run to a faraway land where there's no you or her or us or we
Everything seems too heavy, lately
I'm waiting for my heart to wave the white,
I'm waiting for it to give up the fight
The world needs no fragile hearts
This world is pure red.
Flaming hot ready to devour everything and anything in its direction.
I'm waiting.
I'm waiting for them to make up.
I need my mind and my heart to decide
Do I pick up, leave or,
Fight for what I believe
But what is it that I believe?
You and her and us and we
I don't think any of this can be
Give up once and walk away
I'm sorry but I'm in no place to stay,
Where I'm no longer needed.  
I am human with a body and soul
And a mind and heart that are always competing
I have to love myself but,
Myself doesn't love me very much, this evening
I want my mind to allow my heart to wallow in secret
But I need to have them both,
In agreement
I can't struggle for those who leave and,
I can't break for those who don't appreciate it
I need to mend my heart and protect my mind
I'm in total control of the happiness I come up with
I'll drown myself in self love until I find an exit

His care for the world
Inspires me
His devotion
To the ocean
Makes me smile
And although I tease him
His environmental awareness
Is my favorite part about him

He understands music
On such a deep level
I love watching his eyes light up
When he talks about
His favorite musicians

When he cares about you
He makes you feel like
The most important person in the world
I miss feeling like that person.

The way he wraps his arms
Around your waist
And pulls you close
Like he never wants you
More than a centimeter apart from him
Is magical

He makes you feel safe
In the scariest moments
And secure
When your life is falling apart

But he's got his demons too,
No one is safe from that.
He's jealous,
vague,
closed-off,
angry.

But if you love him enough,
Support him right,
Take care of him,
Those demons won't even matter

His love can sometimes be mistaken
As lust
And if you're not careful,
It'll hurt you.

But I promise he loves you,
It's shown through small actions.
"There's a really good restaurant, I want to take you."
"When's your next game? I'm coming to watch."
"I want you to have dinner with my family."

His love is indirect, but I promise it's there.
His beating heart
Only sees you...

It used to only see me too.

I've always longed to be a poem that moved people.
I've always wanted to be an art piece constructed of rhymes and metaphors.
I've always wanted to be something beautiful, yet I thought I lost that when I lost you.
I didn't know that beauty lied within me
Whenever you looked my way, your eyes seemed to glisten, and I thought that was beauty  
I thought beauty was all the words you've ever told me.
I thought beauty was embedded into promises of forevers that were always reassured with always
I didn't know that beauty was found in my eyes whenever I looked your way
Or in the countless letters I've written to you
Or the words I promised to only you,  
I didn't know that beauty was my heart and how It gave and gave, only to be unappreciated
Do not mistake my confidence for arrogance, for even that, is a form of beauty.
I didn't realize I was beauty, until I wallowed in my broken
My pieces were also a form of beauty that I learned to appreciate and love, scars and all
And so I loved myself back to whole again,
And I saw beauty, in everything
Mostly myself
In the little cracks of my heart
In my mind

And I may owe all of that to you