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Corrinne Shadow Jun 2020
I will take the truth from your lips
And kiss the pain out of it,
Till all that remains
Is our happy little lie.

I will take the love in your gift
And throw away the wrapping bit,
Revealing the gains:
Our happy little life.
Not sure what this means but it sounded nice in my head.
Corrinne Shadow May 2020
My real name begins
With an L.
I called myself
"Lovely"
"Lively"
"Likeable"
But my real name
Is none of those words.
More like
"Lost"
"Lame"
"Lackadaisical"
My real name begins
With the sound
Of paper erupting in flame.
After all of these years,
I have finally found
That "Lonely" is my real name.
Corrinne Shadow May 2020
Hey.
By the way,
I'm still alive!
And nothing happened.
A friend came by
She said hi
And saw my face all blackened
Like thunder in the desert,
I went hot-cold-BOOM!
Exploded
All over
Just the two of us in my room.
"So everything's okay, right?"
For another day, I guess.
I had a good appointment with my
Therapist.
Though this still presents a problem,
I can lay my head and rest.
Remembering that there will be
A new day coming.
Next!
Feeling a little more hopeful today. Sorry I talk about suicide and self harm so much. It's a hard knock life...
Corrinne Shadow May 2020
Up!
Down.
Up!
Down.
Bouncing
Back and Forth.
My mood bounced up!
My mood crashed down.
The knife
Went back and forth.
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
Corrinne Shadow May 2020
Spinning, writhing
Blithely whining
Out of control
Every day I grow older
And colder
And bolder
I paint the world red
With the blood of my Savior
I laugh and I waver
I beg you to save her
By "her" I mean Me!
Don't you see?
Don't you see?
I'm going insane here
Oh look--see the reindeer!
They're coming to take me away again!
Don't let them, oh Mommy I don't understand
I've been a good girl.
I did all that you said.
So why am I pointing a gun at my head?
And why do I itch to self mutilate?
And why am I filled with nothing but hate?
And why are my days filled with nothing but pain?

Oh God, I'm going insane.
Corrinne Shadow May 2020
Right now, if you're feeling devoured by pain,
Remember that there was a drop of rain.
And because of this rain, a flower grows
And because of that flower, a girl's smile glows.
And because of that smile, a kiss is shared.
And because of that kiss, a bond is repaired.
And because of that bond, a new life comes to be.
And because of that life, this poem you see.
Because of this poem, I hope you feel warm
And know that I'm so very glad you were born.
In fact, I would love to come hug you, my Dear.
Please know that I'm so very glad that you're here. 💖
Today was a really good day. First good day in a long, long time. I hope you are well, and I wish you a wonderful day too. <3
Corrinne Shadow May 2020
Mom
To be honest, I feel pretty broken inside
I live with a woman who’s out of her mind.
What’s right is wrong, what’s wrong is right,
The moon is the sun, the day is the night.

She screams and she shouts,
She wallows and pouts,
Her mockery’s vicious,
Her memories? Fictitious.

Nothing in life is as it would seem.
I wake up and feel like I’m still in a dream.
A nightmare of dreary existence, of pain,
Of suffering from the voices in my brain.

With her condescension she sends me reeling
Her temper takes hours, no, days in its healing.
She tells me I’m awful, ungrateful, I’m rude,
That I have to change my bad attitude…

I have not said a word.
But she still hasn’t heard.
I say nothing, I’m doomed.
If I speak I’m entombed.

My very existence just sets off a bomb.
Is this what you want?
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.
I would call this poem "Happy Mother's Day" but I don't want people to click on it thinking it's something sweet.
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