i dread the day you learn
for the first time that
you can't just love all
the darkness in me away

and no matter how much
you care i will still toss
and turn at night and scars
might still appear on my skin

i dread the day you realize
that you can't cure me
and sometimes all you can do
is stand next to me and
hold my hand through fog
pouring out of my ears so black
and thick we can't even see
each other's faces

i dread the days i can't
get out of bed
the days you want to
take me out and all
i can manage is a prettified
shell of myself

i dread the day you learn
that sometimes no matter
how hard i try i still can't
pull myself together

the day you learn that
there isn't an answer
you can give that will
save me from my fears

you aren't the first person
who has tried to love the
darkness inside away
my family and friends
have given it their all
but someday you too will learn
that if love could
cure mental illness
the world would be
a much better place

She picked up a pen,
and her soul spoke.

He called me perfect,
and for a moment
all of my flaws disappeared.

I’m no longer a fighter,
At least not the one you once knew;
The world isn't getting brighter;
Just a little bit darker.
Friends seem farther,
Demons just a little bit closer.
With my thinking,
There’s never closure;
I can’t ever find my way.
For in the dark of night,
I seek the light of day.
Gone down the wrong road,
I'm not a prince, just a toad;
Buried beneath,
Stuck in Morse code.
Thought I could go god mode;
Super strength, all-powerful.
I thought I was incredible,
But I'm no Bruce Banner.
I thought I was invincible,
But I'm no Iron Man.
More like the Metal Man,
Meddling in affairs.
‘Cept life's not fair.

Already placed in battle,
Rifle running rattle,
I’m training like a soldier;
Thoughts crowding like cattle,
Thought I could hold her;
She's all I can think about.
Can't get her out of my head.
Used to feel alive,
Now, I'm feeling dead.
This one-sided attraction,
Self-doubt, large fraction,
Chemical chain reaction;
Rejection, hit like a wall,
Made me fall;
Like first king, Saul,
Can't stand tall.
Am I a man?
Can't hold her hand.
It's like Wendy and Peter Pan,
Lost in Neverland.
I feel paralyzed,
No vice vision;
Fast forward,
Rewind.
No direction,
I'm blind.
This is my body.
This is my mind.
Muscle-memory mimicry,
Chained down,
I thought that I was free.
Guard up,  
I thought that I could be me.

You see,
I used to be a fighter.
But I'm tired of fighting.
I should've enlisted,  
Here, I never existed.
This story's end,
Happily never after;
This decade's end,
Turning twenty-one;
My match has ended.
And I still haven't won.
Fire's been extinguished.
Fuel tank's empty.
No more will in me.
The pressure's killing me.
Bout to go off,
Time's ticking to two;
These gloves, I'm hanging up,
I'm finally through.
Points don't matter,
The price ain't right.
I ain't a Mad Hatter,
I’m down, no flight.
Insanity isn't my vanity;
I feel like I've lost my humanity,
I'm not trying to be a tragedy,
In all actuality,
I've reached my capacity;
Anxiety caused a calamity,
And, now, this is my reality.

A fighter no more,
I lost the war.
Yeah, I ain't Thor;
I may have lost my roar,
But my legacy leaves a lore.
Unworthy of the hammer,
I feel like I'm in the slammer.
Outcast like the Martian from Mars,
Stone walls and iron bars;
They say that I should  
Reach for the stars.
You’ll reach Jupiter in no time,
Just get on the grind, and climb.
They say that my writing's good;
But good was never enough.
Just gotta act tough, and
You'll get through the rough stuff.

"One day you'll find someone like you."

"I hope not."

Breathing reminds us
That we're Alive
But being Alive
Doesn't mean we're Living