Sometimes, in the shower
I think of all the hands I have let touch me
And have to scrub myself so hard my skin blisters,
Use my nails like a blunt knife, try to tear into a new skin
One they have never seen
I'm reminded of all the ways I have said no with my body,
All the times it was ignored,
And turn the water so hot I feel hell singing in my blood.
I hear all the ways I said no with my tongue,
All the times it was ignored,
Bite down on lips that never spoke loud enough
I’d sever this useless muscle from my mouth
If only I hadn’t already hidden the razors.
But sometimes, in the shower
I think of the times I have touched myself
Ran fingers over a soft-skinned body
That could not do more to save me
And I remind myself that this precipice of hatred,
The dancing cliff-edge of blaming myself
Should not lead to scars and blood in the drain
I think of all the ways the water has held me
Has embraced me for hours and asked me to give nothing in return
In these moments I know a body is just flesh
This sinew and marrow carcass of me
Is blameless for the reaching hands
Of the ****** and rotten bodies of them
It’s just a frightened body
And I forgive it
I forgive it

Furniture burns quite well should the -
need arise
A quilt will cover a whistling window
Thick socks make good mittens , a fiery -
book of Sandburg will heat my soul most dandy
and smitten
The lake shall provide fish just as -
the charcoal grill will offer a place to heat them
Snow will turn to water , mother woodland will offer -
plentiful piedmont herbs , roots and berries to -
sustain and medicate
When these material nothings are depleted-
I will forage the landscape as needed
Determined as the bobcat , frozen as the hunting heron
With cold reserve and insatiable hunger* ...

Not all relationships
survive the seasons of life.
Winter brings snow and cloudy skies,
lonely nights, and cold hands and feet.

But after what seems like a never-ending spell,
the skies start to clear,
and the snow starts to melt away.
The sun warms your hands and feet,
and the birds keep you company with their chirping.

Time and growth has brought new relationships,
that can calm the storms
that the broken ones left behind.

m.e.