wrap your warm
           benevolent
    loving
           and caring arms
  all around me
                and whisper to my ears
                that you've always heard
                all my prayers and pleas
                     renew your covenant
          right now
     that you'll forever
                                 be with me
for i've forever been faithful to you
        then help me
               tell the whole world
            that you've
      since been the one
              i have
                 always
                     believed
                         you are.
                   let me show them
           that you are not
                                       the mess
                              of ***
                                   christened
                                                     in crack
                                                and pina colada
                                  that they now
                          think you are
                               let me make them see
          that you are not
          just a sad sack
          of fairy tales
          white washed
          painted pretty
          to hide your scars.
                  let me
                             let them
                                           understand
                             that under the husk
                             of that hopeless mirth
                             of the man they see
                             when they see you today
        lies the man
                                          that i see
                whenever
i close my eyes.
use me to open their's
use me to have them know
that you exist.
please.
                         i know you are
            out there
                        somewhere.
the man that i
              used to know.
                          i believe
                      you haven't forgotten...
                          i believe
           you haven't changed.
                                  my heart burns
                 to be the sacrifice
                                         that invites forth
                                                       your presence.
                                i long for you
                                            to make known
                           your being
                           once again.
           fashion your altar
                     from the tongue in my mouth
      i shall never cease
                              to sing of memoirs
                   for you.
                              use my bones
                make them the foundation
                                       upon which
                           you grace with your miracles
                                  and with all
                     the living skin
                               of my flesh
                            carve your memory
                                        of which no one
                                        will ever forget.

I'm still young,
I know I have time,
I'm probably not even a quarter into my life.
Yet I feel like time is running out.
I want to grow up,
But not because I wish to throw out my childhood,
To leave the safety of my nest,
To jump into the open world.
Truth be told I'm scared.

But for some reason I wish to age.
To have a job,
To live by myself,
To try independence-

I want to fall in love,
I want something more,
More than ***** high school romance.
I want life.
I want to live.

And although now I feel empty,
Hollow,
Lonely,
I know I won't be one day.
Or at least I hope I won't be.

bright red mouths
jeering at me from my own body
they stay
laughing
i only have a bandaid to cover them