“I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier ’til this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that — everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer. I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been. V.”
- Virginia Woolfe

To my mother, to my brother, to my sister..
To the ones that made my life a living hell, those who made have nightmares when I wasn't asleep..
To the 'best friends' the ones that back stabbed me, and told that they'll never leave me alone..
To the teachers who never cared, never noticed and never liked me..
To the bullies that pointed at me, pushed me down the hallway, spilled soda on my hair, threw my books in the mud, called me a freak, *****, ****, ******, loner, fat, ***** ; and a lot more..
To this country I had the misfortune to be born here..
To my school, that made my life miserable, made me want to **** myself everyday..
To the doctor that forbid my parents to abort me, when they wanted to..
To society that made me feel like I'm never good enough, a waste of space, made me hate myself to a point I'd despise me....
GOODBYE!!
I am ending my life, and I am leaving this world!
I can not take anymore of this! Enough is enough!
I do not expect you to mourn over my death, or even shed tears for me!
Do not fool youselves!
You never noticed, you never cared, you never wanted to and you never tried!
It's too late now!
Goodbye..

When she was five they told her to say please, they told her to say thank you, and she did. And everything was good and everyone was happy.
When she was eight they told her to listen, they told her to follow directions, and she did. And everything was good and everyone was happy.
When she was ten they told her to work hard, they told her to push herself, and she did. And everything was good and everyone was happy.
When she was sixteen they told her to give up her dreams, they told her to worry about school, and she did. And everything was good and everyone was happy.
Except not everyone.
When she was seventeen they told her to make decisions, they told her to plan for a future career, and she did. And everything was good and everyone was happy.
Except not everyone.
When she was eighteen they told her many things, they told her things she didn't want to do, but she did. And everything was good and everyone was happy.
Except not everyone.
When she was still eighteen she told herself she couldn't do it, she wanted to give up, and she did. And everything felt good and she was happy as she pulled the trigger.

You decided to end it all tonight
You walk and walk until you're in the middle of the bridge
You take a last peek at the sky
Hoping the stars aren't covered by clouds
You want to die but there's still a little bit of hope deep down
You look around you
There's no cars but wait...
At the end of the bridge, there's ironically a stop sign
Is it a sign or is it just life ******* with you again?

As she was about to marry Death
Someone interfered
So she ended up marrying Pain instead


Since then,
Not even a single day passed that she had not planted tears on the ground.
She planted them with her own bare hands.
Her own bare trembling, frail, bone dislocated, muscle squashed up, ligaments torn hands.


Until the time came
When the tears she planted came to life
The land gave birth to Hurt, Sadness, and Regret.

She continued to feed them with her tears until she was all dried up.
Until it was time for harvest.

But it was not the three to be harvested,
it was her.

Her time has come,
the time she can finally met Death.

Hurt, Sadness and Regret were farmers of death.
Messengers, deliverer, bringer
of death.
They were tasked to harvest her,
and deliver the harvest to Death.

Hurt was first,
to strike her down with his scythe.
Delivering immense pain  in her already smashed up body.

Sadness took over,
putting her on a box,
memories started flashing before her
and in a spit second she relived her life.
Her mind not being able to handle this extreme phenomena,
it no longer was able to hold soul in.

So her soul left.
She was now being delivered to Death.

With a little bit of consciousness that remains, she asked

"Where is regret?"

So they answered

As you are about to meet Death, travelling to the void, we are to accompany you..   But his task is different..
Sadness and Hurt may be lost in the void, but never Regret..

Regret remains...

Regret is someone the void could not contain. Even the void could not eat him .
So he remains in this world as a reminder of your life. He remains so that a single bit of you remains in this world.

Yes, even in DEATH,
Regret still remains....

i really want to believe that it was
legitimately used at some point to
solve conflicts between opposing armies
that would justify so many of my own emotional reactions