I want to tell you something,
But I don't know how
So I'll just say it here:

I forgot there were butterflies on my wrist
Until it was too late

How do you tell your mother that you've been cutting since July 20 2015?
The one who loved you.
The one who told you it was just a phase when you came out as bi.
The one who walked you across then street when you where to small to see from a car.
The one who has been completely oblivious as you sobbed in your bed room.
The one who asked if you cutt when you drew a picture of a broken angel.
The one who you have been lying to for 9 months.
How do you tell her when your afraid she will dissapointed in you?

It's just a cycle, a routine,
I get to his house and he starts to yell.
He shouts and he calls me names
As my tears burn my cheeks.
He taunts me for letting myself be bullied in the 4th grade
He insults my mother for going through 2 boyfriends in 10 years
He leaves the room and gets high
And comes back later as angry as ever.
He yells some more,
Threatens to hit me,
Sometimes he does.
Then he leaves and comes back later
All happy and bubbly and sweet.
He apologizes and I accept, although I know I shouldn't.
I know I should stand up
I know I should take charge
I know I should put my foot down,
Say "enough is enough" and call my mom,
But a part of me chooses not to
A part of me feels guilty
A part of me feels bad for even considering leaving.
I know he can't help it, he snaps so easily.
Let me tell you,
Living with a drunk bipolar man with anger issues when he smokes ***
Is utter hell sometimes

I just wanted to wright a letter to you. I am doing this because I want to let you know that you loners, hurt ones, strangers and lost ones. You are beautiful. You are strong. You can do it. I believe in you. And I am here for you, I want to help in anyway I can so please if you need somebody to talk to, someone to listen to you, I'm here. I may not be much help but I will try my hardest. I am in a stable place and want to pull you up. To be a rope holding you up. To be one of the many stars in the dark night. I got better and so can you. So if you self harm, cut, are depressed or just need someone to rant to I'm here. Come talk to me.
              
             Love Shadow

i should be asleep but instead I'm up
i have been painting and drawing
i am happy
that word sounds strange in my mouth
i havent spoken it in so long
things do get better
you just have to hold on
i wanted it all to stop
and i almost did
but now I'm happy
you can do it too
i know its hard
gods do i know
but i believe in you
and if you ever need somebody to talk to
and to listen to you
I'm here
so just hold on

Winds in the east  
Calling my name
It is so sweet
Singing again

I want to run
Away from my life
Away from the sun
Away from the strife

Deep in the dark
The spirits glow
They sing hark
They sing hello

The night is deep
The sun will come soon
The moon gently weeps
Deep in the gloom

I hold my head
Up in the clouds
My hair is deep red
But I wear a shroud

The river is swift
The river is quick
Deep down in a rift
Carful don't slip