i wish i hadn't talked
i wish i hadn't said anything
i should have bit my tongue
and kept my silence
i didn't want things to get this violent
nothing good comes when i let words escape my mouth
i wish i hadn't said a word
i wish i knew how to drown without spitting up water

December
and anyone in the
woods could see the five
idiots on the back deck.

wrapped in blankets
and circled up like
Indians who drink cranberry
Canada Dry ginger ale.

Saturday afternoon
empty house
i wish i felt
different.

sunshine flickering
through the steam between
my fingers and over the
furry blanket.

i've always liked looking
out the back windshield
with swollen eyes at
what i'm leaving behind.

home again and
nothing is different
it's just i've
gotten worse.

and i'm crying
when it hits me
i'm finally
alone.

but i have a
blanket to wrap
myself up in
so everything's fine.

Sometimes we
Get let down
With all the twist
And turns in life
To keep your head
Above water
You are ready and
Determine to fight
You find the cost
To feed your family
Is more than you can bear
And the worries shows on
Top of your head
With black and grey hair

You try to keep up with
The browns afraid of
Being left behind
You can’t afford that
Big white house
You don’t even
Have a dime
Your wife is on
Your back and
Your baby needs
A pair of shoes
You find yourself in
So much trouble and
Now you got the blues

Your job doesn't
Pay enough money
So now you are talking
About leaving
When you think you
Got it under control
This week you
Didn't break even
Now your kids are sick
From playing out in the cold
Little Johnny has a fever
With a red and runny nose
You feel bad inside because
Others have money to burn
Hospital garnish your check
Because you had no insurance

You bow your head
With a honest heart
Fighting tears as you pray
Sleepless nights, teary eyes
Believing there must be a way
Because life takes away
Whatever you earn
With all its twist and turns
Now you wonder
How some can make it
And other can hardly stand
Half supporting your family
Makes you feel less of a man

You can’t stand the pressure
So you want to go back home
There are times in the day when
You prefer to be left alone
So you figured out that life
Waits patiently for no one
A lesson that is well learned
And life doesn't play fair
With all its twists and turns

In a field
Turn round and around
Until the sky becomes the earth
Until the wind becomes
The motion to carry a thought
Until love moves at the speed of sound and rests upon a star
And falls on solid ground
With a blanket of the heaven to break its fall

I want to softly whisper
incomplete poems
on your collar bones
that don't rhyme with anything
but your heavy breathing.

I want to bury my face
in the curves of your neck
because you smell like the winter clouds
and I've been gazing at the sky
since you left.