I'm not quite sure where we were
Maybe the tunnels by the creek
Or maybe the canyons on the west side
Those details are minor
Because what I remember
Is my head on your chest
And your whisper in my ear

You told me we'd figure it all out
Someday, this would all make sense
But I wasn't so focused on your words
As I was remembering your scent in my hair

Eventually my heart slowed
I feel as if it's been racing for days
And my breaths became more even
As your chest rose and fall

What a feeling peaceful bliss is
Or maybe it'd be more appropriate
To call it ignorance
To think that maybe we were made for each other

I awake and darkness surrounds me
What a surprise, it's 3am
My heart sinks a little
And a slow chill envelopes me
As I realize you're not there, you never were
It was just a dream

It's been raining all day
And how fitting it seems
We knew it'd happen eventually
So why am I having trouble breathing?

I watch you fall through emotions
Like the rolling thunder outside
You try to understand my mind
But oh, I've broken your heart so

I'm not sure what delusion I was in
That this wouldn't be a messy conclusion
Or that I could somehow make you understand
That loving someone doesn't mean they're best

You're no good and I know it
I'm no good though I've tried
But your touch is like ******
Toxic as it seems
It takes me higher and higher

And I've played these games for far too long
Running away from a truth I've known
So how can I be so surprised
That you lash out and scream 'why'

I dream about the day years from now
When I run into you on the street
You'll have her hand in yours
And I'll be alone
We'll catch eyes, and for a brief moment
We'll go back to those times of love and loss
But then we'll smile, and casually walk on

And that, dear man, is why I can't find the words to speak
I know this is really the end

i mean
we can talk about
the weather or
summer plans
we can talk about
our families and
our schools
but
i would much rather talk about
life and death
and everything in between
i want to
spill out all my secrets to you
and i want to
know my way around your mind
i want to
tell you how i feel about things
and i want to
hear what you have to say about the world
i want to
hear you rant about your friends
and i want to
tell you what i do at 3am
i want to
reach the deepest parts of you
and i want you to
break down every wall i’ve ever built around my heart
i want to find intimacy
without it putting me
in a constant state of anxiety and discomfort
and i want to
find it with you

Thoughts race inside
My unstoppable mind
As I lie, still as ever
In this bed of mine

Not moving, won't stop,
Can't grab them or drop
them on the floor under my feet
where they belong, I can't compete

I'd love to think of rivers
Or calming peaceful streams
Oh what I'd give to think of flowers
Or the buzzing sound of bees

Inside is a hurricane
Outside is a drizzle
I can't control my hurried mind
But at least it's working well

Oh I shouldn't complain,
Yes my thoughts run all day
Each one deeper than the last
And although I'm led astray
My thoughts tell me more
Than your words ever could
Because I've had a hundred
More thoughts than I should

Oh the thoughts race inside
My unstoppable mind
As I lie, still as ever
In this bed of mine

The wind is brisk against my face
The leaves crunch beneath my feet
The colors are a dancing swirl around me
Haven't I been here before?

I walk these empty streets
With nothing but my thoughts
Fighting a war inside my head
Just like they have all those times before

It's funny how fast a year goes by
All those prologoned decisions we've postponed
Are suddenly at our doorstep waiting
I'm still lost, waiting to be found

But I've grown fond of the nostalgia
And the summer's indecision
Because when life has no real consequence
It's hard not to enjoy the ride

But everything has an ending
And how naive I was to think
That all of these delayed choices
Wouldn't catch up to me

And that's the thing about hearts
They're fragile just like glass
You can pretend the crack isn't there
But over time it shatters all there was

I said I'd have it all figured out
I said I needed just a little more time
But maybe the truth of it all
Is that I've known all along
That the ones who ignite our soul the most
Are not who we spend our lives with