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 Feb 2018 Sam
Alec
There once was a boy
Who thought he was in love.
Though she treated him like a toy
He thought her an angel sent from above.

He called her his very very first love,
Though he was still young.
He didn’t care she was abusive
She didn’t care she made him choose and,
He didn’t care she cheated
....
But he did care when she wanted to leave him.

There once was a boy
Who finally got over a girl
She’d been very coy,
But she was no longer his world.
Until she came back suddenly.
....
He didn’t know how to feel or who to be.

There once was a boy
Who fell for a new girl
She filled him with joy
And he loved watching her spin and twirl.
Albeit uncomfortable at times
She was still always on his mind.
Until she started to disappear
She was here then there
....
And then no where.

There once was a boy
Who fell, once again,
For the girl who could disappear.
Only this time he held up a mirror.
So he could be there for himself,
When she left like everyone else.
But as he grew on himself,
He started thinking of her like everyone else.
And he knew he had to end what they had.
Because a relationship like that would just be bad
When she knew she began to cry,
....
But all he could say was goodbye.

There once was a boy
Who tried to avoid
Any more notions of love
Until he was sure that was what he would want.
So he stayed far away,
From the girls who’d say “hey”.
And he stayed far away,
From the girls who wanted to stay.
He just wrote what he wrote
Meaning every word, every note.
Until one day he read a confession
....
What now? Well that’s a pretty good question.
 Dec 2017 Sam
empty seas
The best kind of relief
comes from the friends
who take the pain
without question
without doubt
My friends never question my pain, and it’s wonderful
 Dec 2017 Sam
empty seas
promises
 Dec 2017 Sam
empty seas
they said
they'd never use me
but they treated me like a tool

she said
she cared
but she thought I was expendable

he said
he'd never tell
but he confessed when I turned away

broken promises
fake smiles
you talk and talk
but never say
anything
close
to the truth
Most of my friends last year were the embodiment of fake, I'm going to leave them in 2017, hopefully.
 Dec 2017 Sam
empty seas
sickness
 Dec 2017 Sam
empty seas
aching
shaking
I can't move or think
hopeless
helpless
I could use some saving
confined
deprived
my insides are as empty as my mind
pain
I feign
that I'll ever be okay

the only thing left to do is to
sleep
to sink into darkness and
relief
I got really sick yesterday, really, really sick, and so I turned my pain into a poem, like one does. Sorry if it's bad, I still don't feel that well.
 Dec 2017 Sam
empty seas
_______
 Dec 2017 Sam
empty seas
My head aches
with untold stories
My stomach is full
with swallowed words
My body has worn away
from being a trophy
The smart, awkward friend
The introverted, successful daughter
When can I tell my own story?
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