Miles upon miles,
Riddled with beds.
Tissues and soft hands,
To wipe my tears.
Piles upon piles,
Of blankets and food.
A nice, big bowl
Of serotonin.

Sometimes it's blue,
A stormy sea of emotions
Coming, uninvited,
Into a newly built home,
Crashing the windows,
Filling the rooms,
Leaving me in my bed,
To drown on my own.

Sometimes it's grey,
A dim, colorless sky,
With the clouds standing still,
And the wind barely blowing.
And I am standing there,
With my umbrella,
Waiting for the storm to come,
Staring anxiously at the horizon.

Sometimes it's red,
A disastrous fire,
Tearing down everything in its path,
Burning it to the ground.
And I am paralyzed,
Looking at it come towards me,
With nowhere to go,
With nowhere to run.

Sometimes it's green,
Sturdy vines wrapping
Around my arms and legs,
Taking control of me.
Making me do things
That I would never do.
No matter the cost.
No matter the circumstances.

Sometimes it's yellow,
A hazy desert,
Sand that has piled up for ages,
Forming into dunes.
And there I march,
My feet heavy with desperation,
My throat dry and sore,
Consumed by the sun.

Sometimes it's pink,
An overdose of sugar,
Delighting me, Exciting me,
Then leaving me hollow.
I stand there, blinded,
Not knowing I had one cube too many,
Convinced that I'll smile again,
And the sweetness is soon to return.

Disaster is a spectrum,
One is never like the other.
They all have a different weight.
They all have a different impact.
They all have a different temperature.
They all have a different sound.
They all have one thing in common -
The ache in your chest.

It slithers,
Slowly,
From the tips of your toes,
This vibration,
From the tips of your fingers,
This stretch,
To your shins,
This tickle,
To your arms,
This sensation,
To your knees,
This energy,
To your shoulders,
This shake,
To your thighs,
This chill,
To your chest,
This awakening,
To your hips,
This Caress,
To your stomach,
This explosion,
In your core.

Softly.
Run your fingers across.
Never break the touch.

Gently.
Look into my eyes.
Make yourself welcome.

Slowly.
Grasp it with grace.
Silently dissolve.

Beautifully.
Uncover yourself.
Merging into one.

Worried sick on the balcony,
Waiting for your return.
Drowning in my tears,
Longing for comforting words.
Screaming into a pillow,
Needing someone to calm me.
Punching the bed,
Expecting someone to hold me back.
Eyeing a razor,
Wishing for someone to hide it away.
Taking my pills,
Looking for some sympathy.
Hiding in my room,
Anticipating a knock on the door.

As much as I need you,
You'll never see me like this.
I don't want my demons
To become yours.

Will it be any better?
Could it get any worse?
Give me a sign, a mark, a letter,
Faith cannot sink in with force.

Do not lie or fret, just tell me,
Am I being used again?
What’s this power which compels me?
Should I run while I still can?

Then, when you came out of heaven,
When your raised me up from hell,
Glowing eyes, and wings of raven,
Willing to help and to rebel.

Things I think about at night-
How you saved me, gripped me tight,
How my heart just simply sings,
When I’m safe under your wings.

You deserve the earth.
The moon.
The sun.
And all of the stars.
And all of the galaxies.
And all of the entire universe.
It should all be yours, my love.
But all I have to offer, darling,
Is my heart.