I wish I wasn't so weak otherwise this would be my 2nd year just resting peacefully next to that creek. I tried to call it quits but like always I couldn't take any of the hits. I got in my car and accelerated very fast hoping to finally make all this pain end in a firery blast. I wish I would have hit that bridge so I could be buried on some random unknown ridge. Why couldn't I have gotten unlucky? I mean after all my life was very mucky. Maybe it was an act of God or maybe is was from the sad music playing on my iPod. I just wish the pain would disappear so my mind could go back to being very clear. I thought it was my turn to go since I've never felt so low. I still have thoughts of this day wishing that it could have ended in another way. I have tried to become happy but I'm always feeling ******. I have tried to mask my pain but in reality my life is swirling down the drain. Maybe all this is just a big message from above trying to show me that I should just try to love. One day I'll get the urge to get back in the car I just hope that I don't go too far. Maybe in a few years from now I can look back at this post and think; wow I'm really glad I didn't turn myself into a ghost!
If you ever feel depressed just remember all that there is to live for. Don't give in to the devil, instead write poetry, run, yell, sleep. Just don't harm yourself the world is better with you in it.