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 Feb 2019 Mybadbrainday
Tanay
Rain on me,
I have been longing to be free.
Lost in my world, needlessly.

Rain on me,
I am tired of fighting but I will not sleep.
I refuse to be reigned and I refuse to be a sheep.

Rain on me
and show me the way.
This place is empty and I cannot stay.

Rain on me
because it has been too long.
I am sick and tired of pretending to be strong.

Rain on me,
I want to see the lightning pierce the sky.
As the thunder roars and the clouds fly.

Rain on me.
Let the winds take my mind to another land.
No one needs to know and no one needs to understand.
Tanay Sengupta, Copyright © 2018. All Rights Reserved.
 Jan 2019 Mybadbrainday
Wanderer
Artists are often
broken people
using the fragments of themselves
to create something new
and although
being healed
feels so complete
sometimes i want to be broken again
sometimes i want open wounds
so i can use the blood
to paint sunsets
so i can use the torn off pieces of skin as a canvas
so i can carve
masterpieces with the jagged bones left behind
but I can't bring myself to break my own heart in the name of Art


YOUR illumination of LOVE

Do you remember the moment?

How passionately you tricked me
And penetrated my soul
With that LOVE-CONNECT
To the deepest inner core
Piercing my darkness
With YOUR inner-SOUL light

You paid off all the past birth's debts
With that fated encounter of OURS

Your smiles, your smell, your eyes
You offered me a FREE ticket ride
To peep within your inner SOUL
And taste your eternal fluid

You flushed me through your eyes
Into your womb- your inner core and
Slayed me into pieces within you
Transforming my death into your LOVE

You seeped into the deepest pores of my cells
In those abyss dark depths,
That were ignited by your LOVE

The way I wallowed to seek BELOVEDz
You provided me with your exquisite beauty
Your LOVE's obsessive intensity
That radiated warm sun-shine everywhere

Oh BELOVEDz!
YOU are my flaming lantern
Among the falling stars

Before the dark clouds come
Finish what you began with
Tear off the veil of fear and
Sculpt our sweet fated encounter
With ETERNAL LOVE

My divine wounds are still raw
My scars are still bleeding LOVE
Hold me tight, and kiss me light
To soothe me with your gorgeous sight

You whispers are nature's bird songs
Your breathe smells delicious in kisses

How politely, how tenderly
How delicately, how peacefully
YOU awakened my kindled spirits of LOVE

How lucidly, how fluently, how fluidly
YOU accepted me within your being
To make me so crazy in YOUR LOVE

YOU made abode in my heart
You created a secret space within me
Where nobody but YOU know -
ONLY YOU DWELL


What I am
What I'm not
What I was
What I thought
What I had
What I lost
Makes no difference
If I don't know what

What I've given
What I've bought
What I'm missing
What I've got
What I do
What I don't
Makes no difference
If I don't know what

What I've fought
What all for naught
What I've found
What I've sought
What I've let go
What I've caught
Makes no difference
If I don't know what


I never tell you to stay with me
I never force you to reply to me
But I fear being alive without YOU

Though I never show it to you
I know that YOU know it too

YOU know I LOVE YOU so much
YOU know everything of my LOVE -
Don't YOU?

~~~

You are aware of every little thing
I experience in your LOVE
Please never ever think
Of leaving me & going away

I am alive in wait of YOU
I am showing patience
Till you find courage

I am not at all that bad
As everyone thinks
YOU know that - don't you?

Whenever life brings little
Happiness, smiles and joys
My eyes look out for YOU
I want YOU to be with me
In those happy moments

Whenever life brings lots of
Grief, sadness, sorrow
My eyes look out for you
I want you to
Hold me from falling

I never want pity & charity
In return of my LOVE for YOU
YOU know everything of my LOVE -
Don't YOU?

Though I never let the world know
What I am feeling inside me
YOU know how much I LOVE YOU
I always want to be with YOU

I never tell you to stay with me
I never force you to reply to me
But I fear being alive without YOU

Though I never show it to you
I know that YOU know it too

YOU know I LOVE YOU so much
YOU know everything of my LOVE -
Don't YOU?






You are the sparkle of my eyes
You bring the twinkle in my eyes
But you are so far away from me
And I keep on calling your name within
Day and night, morning and evening
The hope is you will come back to me
And one day we will meet

In my heart, only your 'heart' beats
There are thousand messages
In my heart for you
Come and read them one day
My words just sing your songs
I recite your praise in my poems
I've been madly displaying my LOVE
To this world, who stand around
To watch the spectacle of my madness
The hope is you will come back to me
And one day we will meet

Oh my secret BELOVEDz
Where are you dear?
Just give me a sign or signal
I'll appear before YOU
LOVE has waited a life-time inside YOU
Just look into my eyes,
My LOVE is always there inside you
Just feel my LOVE through your senses
The hope is you will come back to me
And one day we will meet

Sometimes YOU come silently
Like a thief, every night
YOU wake me up in the middle of the night
And disappear into the dark illuminating light
I fumble and walk around just to find
Your scent around me floating everywhere
The hope is you will come back to me
And one day we will meet

My LOVE is ripe, my LOVE is here
Where else you are going away from me?
You burn me - my heart, my body and my soul
In the fiery longing of my desires
Now come and meet me secretly - again
And let nobody know about our LOVE
Let them not be jealous of our LOVE
The hope is you will come back to me
And one day we will meet

The celebration of our LOVE is so unique
There are two lovers, but we don't meet
We unite just by our longings
Just in our dreams we become ONE
We search for each other
with the light of our heart
Igniting our souls
Both are waiting on the paths of LOVE
You believe it or not
We stand on the same path of LOVE
Waiting for each other
Let the roads of our LOVE meet
The hope is you will come back to me
And one day we will meet



There is such a place, you know--
one that transcends time and space
and visions of what you're supposed to resemble,
and the limits placed by the digits
of your mortal age.

I can feel the presence of it
in my bones,
where the sky is never ending and liberated
and the sun and moon
can openly converse and love and exist,
without the rules of superiors
who like tragic love stories and twisted histories.

Whatever you decide to do, whatever you decide to feel,
there are no restraints
to keep you from the prospects of flying,
or dreaming,
or embracing things that you had to
let go of in another existence.

There is no fear, confusion, or awkwardness,
no doubts of not belonging,
of not deserving to exist in such a place
where your soul can be pure,
and being able to thrive
without having to try so hard
anymore.

You don't have to try anymore to
be a good person,
because you are one.
You don't have to struggle to hold on to yourself,
you don't have to feign ignorance
or enlightenment.

You can breathe and smile openly,
and every smile is so breathtakingly beautiful that
you glow and transcend above all heavens
and insecurities.

The ground is soft and supportive,
giving way to your feet, that no longer
feel so tired and heavy from having to labor to live,
or from constantly running away
from demons and voices
that tear at your conscience and soul.

No, you can now feel as light as air itself,
soft feet running on sunkissed clouds that
formed from tears of happiness.

When it rains,
you don't have to take cover
for it has already washed away all your sorrows and guilts,
guilts in the forms of hot, suppressed tears
in the failures of your lost ambitions
and stolen discoveries,
guilt from turning away, even when someone
asked you for help.

You can forever venture out here,
to unknown, misty, thriving islands and majestic palaces
far away,
you can do things you never got to do,
for you don't have to pretend
to be someone you aren't.

You don't have to live each day questioning
every single telltale of life.

You don't have to wonder anymore
about why the world can be
such a cruel place,
no matter how many rays of hope
reach into the darkness.

You don't have to wonder anymore,
because here
such misery does not exist,
and the ruins of a good soul
dance as a renewed, enlightened being again.

Above all,
you don't have to live someone else's life
because here, you find yourself
over and over
and over again.
07/09/18

The Green of this particular Nirvana is a component that allows you to love and live freely, with no restrictions or heaviness of people weighed down by the world, and themselves.

Here, you are liberated from the faults of others, and the faults of yourself in a time and place where you were ignorant and lost.

Here, there is no society to degrade you. You can exist solely in harmony with nature.

Edit: Wow, I can't believe this poem got chosen to be the Poem of the Day! I've never received so many likes, comments, and feedback on any of my poems, so I feel overwhelmed, but very happy. Thank you for taking the time to read my words; it really means alot to me <3 <3
i.

I intentionally failed to wish you
a happy birthday this year,
though I know significant dates,
hours, moments, people,
by heart.
I still search for you in boys
I mistake for bandages,
the ones with eyes almost
the same shade of your hazels,
lips resounding your laughter,
resembling a wisp of your smile,
But they aren't you.

ii.

Sometimes I pretend you're dead,
because it's less painful
to stop reaching out into voids.

iii.

My mom still blames you
for everything that preceded that year.
Though you probably had no idea what happened
when we stopped talking altogether.
Can you believe it's almost been three years?

iv.

My dad wonders who was my 'one that got away'
Though, I'm pretty sure he knows
it's you.

v.

Remember how I mentioned Sylvia Plath?
How most everything she wrote
brimmed with melancholy?
How I loved every single word?
Especially that piece
where she talked about expectations
and disappointments.
You'll never know that
up to this day I still think
people are selfish enough to
always, eventually turn into the latter.
Even you.

vi.

It's sad I never got the chance
to tell you about Ted.
How she loved him so much,
she just had to dive headfirst
into the flames-- burning herself,
what was left of her--
after she found out
he never really loved her
the same way
she loved him
in the first place.

vii.

truth is,
some of us
never learn to accept
the love we think we deserve.


viii.

I don't know if you still read my poems
or if you still think about me,
about us, sometimes.
Every time you fall asleep past eleven,
a part of me hopes you do.
because I always remember you--
in birthday candles, red ribbons,
off-tune voice records, golden arches,
concrete sidewalks, pedestrian lanes,
the last flickers of city lights
softly fading out of the blue.
I remember you
in everything, in everywhere,
in everyone.
It's useless, no matter how much I try to forget.
No matter how much I just want to forget.
I want to forget.

But, how could I?

When forgetting means forsaking
the very memory of you.
The truth
        Is
Love doesn’t
  Recognize
All the artificial
Man made restriction
    We try to place
           On it

       It simply
flows between
    Souls and overwhelm
The hardest hearts

     Love is power
            Love
          Is peace
Kindly choose love
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