From ashes I rose, a phoenix reborn,
With feathers of hope, a heart newly sworn.
I thought I had healed, the pain left behind,
A future so bright, a renewed peace of mind.

I ventured beyond, a grand hopeful start,
To mend a lost love, to ease a scarred heart.
But shadows crept in, a familiar sight,
A chill in the air, a dimming of light.

The wounds I thought healed, began to un-stitch,
A darkness returning, a painful, cold *****.
The warmth I thought found, now slipping away,
A fortress I build, to hold it all at bay.

No saviour shall come, no magical repair,
My strength is my own, my burdens to bear.
I’ll weather this storm, alone and forlorn,
Until the may shine again, maybe hope can be reborn?

Why do I feel like writing poems has to be so deep?
Why can't I just type about sun shining on a leaf?
But no, my heart cries out to describe
this dark and lonely feeling inside.

Maybe I just need to work on me,
I can't seem to explain why I'm full of jealousy.
And even though you're my closest friend.
You're the one person I can't tell about my thoughts of the end.

You're with him and I feel left in the dust.
But feeling happy and smiling for you is a must.
I never want you to see this green side of me
but one day this side might be the only side to see.

I will try my best, to hold myself back,
because for you, I will take on any attack.

It's a script
It's a cycle
Like we're on repeat
The same words tossed around
Without missing a beat

I'm sick of this
I'm done
I don't even give a ****
I don't care about your opinions
I'll break them like a battering ram

You tell me I'm wrong
That I'm misguided, incorrect
But to be honest
Your words now have no effect

I tried to explain to you
I just wanted you to listen
But despite how much I try
It's like tuning out is your new addiction

So no more begging on my knees,
Pleading for you to understand,
******* and your deaf ears,
Obviously your mind is a wasteland.

Should I show anger?
With a scowl on my face?
My brows furrowed,
pushing people away with disgrace.

Or perhaps show kindness,
with a fake smile and kind eyes.
With a Laugh full of life
but holding back tears and lies.

Maybe today I'll show sadness,
with grey storms in my mind,
wanting to wrap my neck up,
in a rope that's unkind.

Some days I don't wear a mask,
I attempt to be free,
but I hate the way people point and stare,
making me think "What's wrong with me?"

I have too many masks,
that I wear as my mind decays,
but why do I feel so numb,
today on my birthday?

Send me away,
to a dark abyss,
where there is no sound or light,
where pain shall not make me hiss.

Away to a land,
where I'm allowed to be free,
where I don't fake emotions,
for my friends and family.

Allow me to soar,
to rise up to the sky,
see the world, and its true colours,
feel the wind as I fly.

Please...
    Send me away from this hell.