When I was little my mother was always near
I did as I was told no questions asked
Until the age of twelve when everything was clear

I began to quesiton the things I was tasked
Caring less and less if mother was around
Acting reckless keeping my feelings masked

My friends and I would terrorize the town
Giving no regards to others and acting like fools
It was five years before the old me was found

I found relief in music so it became my tool
The stress of my parents was too much to take
I wanted to give up on everything including school

I rarely asked for much and made my own cake
But I was sick and tired of not having freedom
So I signed my life away for some rank

When I graduated I left for a few seasons
The confidence I gained was what I'd needed
Although my absence was for no clear reason

As my eyes open wide my mind becomes heated
Everybody is ignorant whether they agree or not
I have new standards for how I need to be treated

I promise I've been through more I've been through alot
Treat me with resepct and understanding when I speak
Being right sometimes doesnt add value to your thoughts

Thinking a lot means not that I overthink
Listening not to me but others is destructive
I know from experience not from a link

I'm not a child anymore that little boy is rusted
I'm a grown man that has his own views
But I still make mistakes on who should be trusted

If the effort is mainly on one side who has to choose
When nobody wants to make up I have to grown upwards
Because my sidekick Watson surely doenst get the clues

Yet I'm still competing against myself for no rewards
The effort I put in doesnt reciprocate
So I get edgy because I have a goal I'm working towards

Every conversation feels like a new debate
My relations are irrelivent and you don't listen
You aren't honest most often being fake

No being mad you're never wrong in your vision
Of course those rules never apply to me
Tu eres el hefe and thats your mission

The point is that I've matured in ways you wont see
I grow weary of your demands and lack of understanding
and I still find myself wanting to be free

What goes up must come down and I'm landing
I hope I maintain my composure and retain sanity
My last one took that from me without my planning

In the process I was filled with vanity
I pray you're not the same resulting in a tragedy

At the end of the day
I traveled to the far place
Thinking of what to say
When we came face to face
I’m happy now

After my arrival I waited
I blew vapor and stared at the clouds
Thought about moments I hated
When we shared the same towns
I’m happy now?

Exchanged words on the way home
I missed hearing your voice
Wondering why I did you wrong
When I realized I made the wrong choice
I’m sad now.

Later that night we went for a walk
I suggested the idea with intent to talk
Pondering why life put things in reverse
When my heart stood still and affixed to this curse
I’m sad now

At the end of the day
I can only hope it ends in a good way
Realizing the length of our last departure
When my chest was pierced by a childish archer
I’m..

With depression and anxiety there’s no such thing as sobriety
The cells in Nate are rioting like prisoners out of their cells fighting

I lay here wide awake five hours past eight
Thinking about all my mistakes and how I’m not really that great

How I feel so alone even though I share my home
How I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up on a throne

Contemplating suicide gets harder to hide
Each day the thought creeps a little further inside and I can’t stop it I’ve tried

I used to never consider it because of those who’d miss me when I’m gone

But now when I think about it I don’t think they’ll miss me long

As I overthink and work my mind overtime
My brain gets weak and my health declines

Maybe one day I’ll be fine but until then I’ll spend my days crying

It’s bones echo as her song is sung in sorrow
Petrified eyes wander aimlessly until they’re hidden
Reclusive below an endless sea of regret engulfing the path to forgiveness
They swell like flesh that’s been kissed by the blazes of hell
Rising above the intoxicating waves of silk and misery
To gaze upon the sun until it rests

Her head of protruding thoughts ignites while she rests
Inundated in everlasting sorrow
The variables given only result in misery
It’s soul once residing within is now hidden
Lost forever it dredges forgiveness
Such tragedies must only exist in hell

It’s destiny slips through it’s weak hands reminding it, this is hell
Reminding it to cherish each passing moment it has left with her, envisaging forgiveness
Letting all be know and nothing hidden
In hopes for redemption and a life free of sorrow
Yet alone her broken body rests
Reflecting its misery

The black of night is its cloak of misery
And her misery and brokenness is it’s Hell
Her song harmonizes to its sorrow
Putting their calamity to rest
Revealing sprouts of change which lay beneath the ash hidden
Waiting for a new tomorrows light and the rains of forgiveness

Time heals all things so in time comes forgivenesses
It tells itself so it can rest
Perhaps times cold slumber will extinguish it’s hell
Perhaps it will sit and wait still in misery
Remembering the circumstance which brought about such sorrow
Letting it be shown and not hidden

It prays her love is not lost, only hidden
Prays for growth and happiness exchanging misery
It prays so that it can rest
Her smile and warm embrace prove the existence of forgiveness
Or is this still hell
Is this inevitable sorrow

Forever in sorrow the light is hidden
This dark hell torments it’s heart with misery
Forgiveness illuminates it’s consciousness putting its demons to rest

I wake up in the morning groggy and dazed         
Forgetting where I am and how I got there         
Then it all comes back to me and I begin my day   
I walk to the bathroom and comb my hair           
Still dazed I stand there and stare
Coffee would be useful right now but I have none
The only thing in the morning that makes me care
Besides the angel beside me she's the one

When I'm ready I go outside and feel the rays     
They shine on my face each one unique and rare   
I continue where I'm going I stay on my way       
If we walk the same path I'm content to share     
These days meeting decent folk is something rare
If you're yourself others will try to make fun
They're insecure because life isnt fair
Besides the angel beside me she's the one

The green pastures where I spent my Easter
Was a serene place where my feelings grew deeper
My presence was called upon by the grim reaper
We’d lost someone dear to us

My step father was drowned in sorrow
Each day I woke I prayed for tomorrow
God had a killstreak, killamanjaro
Our circumstances were unfortunate

Even though I was with my family
Who I hadn’t seen since my last landing
I couldn’t help but think about my candy
My sweet Ruby

It will always be our moments apart that will inspire true art
Even when we are bitter towards each other it’s proof that love is ****
The day I secure our future is when I can start
But who knows when that will be

Anyways, it was the green pasture that separated us and brought us closer
I love you to the moon and back ten times over
You’re out of this world and I feel like a rover
I’ll shoot for the stars if you’ll be my solar

We said we would be friends if the flame went out
So why am I sitting in the dark all alone?

I wish I could suspend this silence between you and I
But each one of your ears has a headphone

Even when you hear me you don’t really hear me so maybe it’s good that you hear nothing now
Even when you see me you aren’t seeing clearly so maybe it’s good you’re with your momma now