It is a lonely life to live
And I would seldom recommend
To the weak of heart
But for the hopeful
I commend this struggle
Stirring younger men
To live learn and grow

Perhaps leaving family behind
In the pursuit of the mind
Paying dues with isolation and time
Finding your muse rightly used

But facing a nation racing away from
The acquisition of knowledge and wisdom
A society determined to remain blind
In Plato’s Cave slaves still obey shadows
Sniping at those such as yourself
Who struggle to expand and include
All things within and without

Till the wanderer comes home
Alone better not bitter from the journey
Open and ready to share
Hoping the world is ready to care
About such wonderful things

I dream my nightmares happily.
I'd rather have those than dreams.
Because they're more interesting.
They make me, me.
Every night I cry myself to sleep.
Every morning I wake up and scream.
Everyday is my real nightmare.
And my nightmare's are my dreams

Dress me up just like a queen.
Make me so pretty.
Wear high heels.
Paint my nails.
In some pretty pink.
Make me look pretty.
But in the end.
I realize.
This isn't me.
Not who I'm supposed to be.
I put on jeans and a ugly shirt.
I paint my nails in some gruesome black.
Take off my heels and put on flats.
Just look at me.
I'm back.

Dark, alone, and saddened.
Bruised, battered, and cut.
Love, hope, and happiness.
All shattered to dust.
It's funny how when your dead.
People start listening.
Maybe I should go away.
Because I'm sick of this.

Maybe You're A Little
Sad Because No One
Understands
What You Want Them
To Understand
And We're All Just
Lost In The Precession
Of Trying To Understand
What We Can't.

And So We Look
Up To You Just So
We Can Find Understanding.

The Understanding Of
Nothingness, I Guess.

Life, Is Nothingness.
Life, Is Sad.

Mommy, Mommy
I have a new friend
She likes the swings, like me
She’s so nice and pretty
She’s very shy, but she really liked my stickers
Mommy, Mommy
My new friend told me today
That she likes to paint
And that she wishes she was pretty
Mommy, why didn’t she believe me when I told her
I thought she was pretty and that I wanted to be just like her?
Mommy, Mommy
My friend said she’s sad
She told me that my stickers and the candy, I offered,
Wouldn’t make her sadness go away
I don’t understand, Mommy
I thought candy made everyone feel better
She said she didn’t need a doctor
She said it wasn’t like when your tummy hurts
Mommy, Mommy
While my friend was pushing me on the swings,
She told me that she wants to go away
To somewhere that she knows she’ll be happier
Mommy, can we take her to the zoo?
Would that make her sadness go away, Mommy?
Mommy, Mommy
I found out that my friend likes to paint on her arms
She told me that it’s not art
Mommy, she told me hurts herself on purpose
I asked her why she’d do such a mean thing to herself
And, Mommy, she told me that she does it to make the other pain away
Mommy, what else makes my friend hurt?
I don’t understand
She told me that she cries at night
She said that I had to keep it a secret,
But, Mommy, I know you won’t tell anyone her secret
Mommy, why do you look so sad?
Mommy, why is my friend sad?
Mommy, what can I do to make her better?
Mommy, why are you crying?
Mommy, do you want a hug?
Mommy, Mommy
My friend wasn’t at school today
I had no one to swing with or trade stickers with
I think my friend is sick
She was quiet yesterday,
But she told me that I was her best friend
Mommy, I have a best friend!
Mommy, Mommy
My best friend hasn’t been to school all week
I swing alone and it’s not as fun without her
Mommy, can we go see her?
Mommy, Mommy
You tell me my friend is gone
That she’s in the happy place that she always wanted to be
Mommy, why didn’t she tell me bye?
Why did she have to go?
Mommy, you say there’s a place I can go to see her
Mommy, I didn’t know
I would have to wear black
And bring flowers
Mommy, you said I would get to see her
Oh, Mommy, please don’t cry
Mommy, Mommy
I understand now
That my friend was sad
And that hugs and stickers and my candy wouldn’t make her better
Mommy, I don’t want her to be sad
Mommy, Mommy
Do you promise she’s happy now?
Do you think I’ll get to see her again?
Mommy, Mommy
I understand now
That zoos and candy won’t make me happy,
Not without my best friend
Mommy, Mommy
I miss my best friend
When will she come visit me?
Mommy, I’m sorry
I keep making you cry
Mommy, Mommy
My friend isn’t coming back, is she?
Mommy, I can’t stop crying
Why is she gone?
Was I a bad friend, Mommy?
Mommy, I understand why she wanted the pain go away, now
But, Mommy,
Why did she have to go too?
{-ksf}

That night, I stared at the night sky,
Soaked up the stars
Enough to form constellations of my own
And named them after you.

That is the thing about stars,
The more you look
The more you find.
Scars, alike.

Though, I am a novice
In the realm of
Pain and suffering,
I have already understood
The difference between
Papercuts and broken hearts
Chaining souls and holding hands
Flying paper airplanes and shooting darts
Abandonment and negligence.

And for once,
I want to believe in afterlives,
Wishing on shooting stars that are
Confused with fireflies,
If only it was as simple as
The art behind tracing your lips,
Falling asleep to the rhythm of your breath,
Your glinting eyes floating in pools of bliss.

But, we are more than music.
A noise
That beats in our ears;
A scream
That burns our throats.
Of Shattered vintage vases,
Wrecked ships
And sinking boats.

You caught me with a blade
Pressed against my stomach
Drawing blood
You told me Jesus loves me
And world war 3 would stop
If I'd just call out on him

You told me that wouldn't make life easier
But it would help me live
A happy healthy life
But I can't give it up
My attempts at grasping for control

My shirt had blood on it
You watched me clean off the blood
You sighed, and reminded me
That I was worth something
Of course, I didn't hear you

I'm worrying now
That you'll tell my mom
That I'll get shipped off some place
Where they keep sharp things away
My blade has dulled
And so has the pain
I swear, I'll stop
I just needed to feel better

Cutting could be an emo's second death, or cutting could be an emo's second chance at life...