I hope you never reach
The day
Where you are lost for words
Because they're tangled up in
Agony.

I hope you never reach
The point
Where your innocence of
The world is
Robbed.

I hope you choose
Your friends and
Lovers wisely
So that you never have to
Discover what it feels like
To see those who you believed
Would take a bullet for you
Dance behind the
Trigger.

I call it my old house-- it stands in the woods with no electricity, and no water.
If you listen carefully enough, you can hear laughter still dancing down the hall
followed by the screaming and fighting.
Every time I go there I see visions of two young girls sledding down the big hill out front, or friends and past friends talking on the front porch illuminated in Christmas lights.
Still I sit in my old room where tapestrys and photographs once lined the walls.
The house where family once lived sits quiet.
And lonely.
The children don't play anymore and my mother doesn't fill the kitchen with scents of dinner and she no longer burns incense.
The flowers don't grow because they are dead.
The windows were left wide open and the beds stripped of their sheets, some of my old things are buried behind my closet door.... like skeletons.

No one will answer the door if you knock because no one is home.

Part One

                              A  American Madman's Farwell

I was fried from the scene in LA the lights the fake women with the perfect smiles and quick to jump in bed mentalities that if thinking you were a casting director were all to eager to sell there souls .

The were twisted insane drug addicts maybe that's why I had grown to feel at home amongst them and there demented ways.
I had grown numb to the excess the high quality drugs and all night binges .

My mornings were like rising from the dead more agony than pleasure
I found even now to arise from the crypt it took far more than a stiff drink and a good **** I had to dam near summon a voodoo priestess to bring me back to the living good thing even the masters of the occult all desired to be famous and were already here .

Everyone was after the fast track that quick fix and I was just after yet another story.
I was just another snake in the garden all to eager to take advantage of the first opportunity to strike the innocent then leave them with a expensive habit and some cab fair in the morning .

I sat there as I do now ice in glass bottle on the table frustrated in need  of something more one last adventure was on the horizon .
And my sights were set on the land down under .

Were the heat and mystery surrounded my thoughts where the page could breathe and my thoughts could  take flight one last time .
I sat there a addict in need of another fix one that only a finally dose of adrenaline and adventure could curb my desires .

My choice was made long before my bags were packed.
and few lines and some stiff drinks were all I desired to see this road to its end .

I paid my bill packed my **** and was ready to be lost .
L.A. was a mistake always willing to happen and a new Atlantis destined to be at the bottom of the sea .

I was buckled in  and blown out of my mind as the 747 blasted from tarmac bound for escape pointed towards the sky .
I was higher than Jesus and bound for a story that would be far beyond the depths of my own madness .

Sir would you like a drink ?
The stewardess asked me when we were stable within the clouds.
You can fill in the blank when it comes to my reply .

Just make sure it's a double .

Please fasten your belts ladies and gentlemen the madness will begin shortly .

908

’Tis Sunrise—Little Maid—Hast Thou
No Station in the Day?
’Twas not thy wont, to hinder so—
Retrieve thine industry—

’Tis Noon—My little Maid—
Alas—and art thou sleeping yet?
The Lily—waiting to be Wed—
The Bee—Hast thou forgot?

My little Maid—’Tis Night—Alas
That Night should be to thee
Instead of Morning—Had’st thou broached
Thy little Plan to Die—
Dissuade thee, if I could not, Sweet,
I might have aided—thee—

you tell me you are just like everyone else.
and yeah, maybe you are
You tell me that you aren't the only one to yell.
also true
But what you fail to realize:
1. Most people do not torture their children
you have
2. Most people do not demote existence
you have
3. Most people think that injustice is real
you dont
4. Most people care about their family, and their emotions
you never have
5. Most people care about equality
you do not
6. Most people appreciate what they have
you think people owe you everything
7. Most people know what abuse is
you think everything is justified
8. Most people support their family
you have only brought us down
Look,
I know you can't be perfect.
But you have gone so far down.
You have shown me
how to be better than you.
You swear that when I have children,
I will be "just like you"
However,
my patience is more,
my love is more,
my passion is more.
You have taught me how to be nothing like you.
your own daughter,
says I am better than you.
Well,
maybe so
What you fail to realize:
**I am nothing like you

Have you ever been abused? Touched in inappropriate ways?
forced to be around people who don't really like you?
Maybe there's a reason why you always go astray.
Have you spent a year choking back tears?
As everyone is so passive aggressive
Do they even care about your hopes, goals and fears?
They probably don't even know why you're thoughts are so obsessive. Your own existence has to run on their terms
You're tired of all that nagging because they see you as a visible germ. Sick of all the bragging about how their life is better when you're not interested at all. You make one mistake and it's like tripping, you make one mistake and no one forgets the fall. In you they have no faith, you found comfort in walking alone because you're birth was a mistake. Others wonder why your heart is stone, but never cry for them, never cry for help. Verbal jabs cut worse than a shark's skin, you must of learned to love yourself.