Its 3:30 in the morning
My eyes bloodshot and wide awake
My mind in a confused trance
My chest running out of breath
My heart growing heavier by the minute

Desperately going for my keys
Wallet on hand, phone in my pocket
I think I need a drive just for tonight
To chase where my mind goes
And clear the thoughts off my head

My hands trembling in panic
My eyes stealing focus on the road
Limbs on automatic as my mind wanders
I guess a trip to get some alcohol
Would help calm my nerves down

Took a sip while heading to Lord knows where
Holding back my tears as I run around in circles
I don't know where I'm heading, I just kept on driving
My heart in a constant state of agony
As I found myself stopping at your front door

Bursting into tears when I realized
Where I sought to find some comfort
In your arms I've always felt at ease
But this time it feels so different
When the same arms are the ones hurting me

I know I agreed to wait for you
Wait for you to fully open your heart to me
I even said I'd wait against all the odds
Just to earn the chance to win your heart
But why do I feel miserable at this moment?

You seemed so close to me
Well within my hands' reach
You shower my body with your embrace
And nurture my lips with your kisses
Yet why do you feel so distant?

No matter how much I try to run to you
You keep on pushing me farther away
No matter how much I try to break your walls
You keep on setting up newer, stronger barriers
Sometimes I can't keep up with your thoughts

You leave me dazed and confused
And yet you still make me feel loved
You make me believe that this could be concrete
Yet you can't put words on how much I mean to you
I don't know how to respond to any of this

You make me feel at ease in adversity
And yet sometimes you're confusing to me
A source of both my serenity and sweet agony
You're an addiction that may be bad for my being
And yet I still offer to you my everything

You drove me in a crossroad I can't avoid
You want me to stay and yet you freely let me go
So now I'm in a dilemma I can't imagine to escape
Because even as all the signs point to danger
Here I am, still driving, still going towards you

I'll keep on driving towards where you are
No matter how near or no matter how far
People may say that I'm idiotic and crazy
But regardless I stand by the routes I choose
And amidst all the traffic, I'll chase the elusive wind called you

Its been a long time since then
When my hands held someone elses
Its been a long time when I last
Felt my heart yearn for someone

Awkward smiles flashing at each other
Flirting eyes staring towards one another
Hugs exchanged like there's no tomorrow
My kisses marking your cheeks and forehead

Emotions are in overdrive
As you look at me with your playful eyes
My heartbeats are skipping erroneously
As my lungs are gasping for breath

Your hands felt soft and sweet
As you happily laced them around mine
Your fingers touching each of my own
Each stroke sending jolts down my spine

Whenever you stare at me I want to melt
Ten seconds in your eyes feels like an eternity
It makes me want to pray for Time
to freeze
Whenever I surround you with my embrace

My words can't express how much you mean to me
My body can't endure such sweet emotions anymore
My time that froze when love was taken away
Moves again when you suddenly came
to my life

I love you Babe
No matter what they say
People will always have doubts
Even you may not believe me
But when I say that I'm in love
It is rare that I say it
With full and conscious conviction
Just like this one
So please
If you may grant me
Just one wish
No matter how long it will take
For you to reach a decision
Even if you make me wait long
Just please consider this
Please choose to stay
Here with me
Stay in my heart
Hold my hands tight
Embrace me fiercely
And never leave me alone
I love you

As I write tonight
Underneath this cloudy night
With little hints of moonlight
And a sky deprived of starlight
I contemplate on why
I made the wrong choices
My mind remains a mess
And my heart feels heavy

A man deprived of youth
Discovering my place in the world
Seeking a permanent home
Only to wander from place to place
The boy within my heart
With his mischievous charms
And his spontaneous whims
Making a mess of my life

Choices, you make or break them
I wonder why, in this world of numerous possibilities
I make only choices that hurt others
And ultimately, give me a stinging, guilty pain.

My mind is in the gutter
My heart in disarray
The person who keeps me happy
I think I've pushed her away
I admit this was a whirlwind feeling
But it became so strong
It blew me off my feet
And overcame my judgement

I'm sorry
For making the wrong choice
For not backing down
When you challenged my resolve
For failing you where
You needed me to succeed
For giving in to my desires
Instead of cherishing yours

I'm sorry
For making you think twice
When all I had to do was resist
For disregarding your trust
When you needed to trust me most
I know no reason would qualify
To be an excuse for my iniquities
But please, listen when I say, you're all I have

All I can do is apologize
All I can do is to make it up
To earn what was lost
And to labor day and night
To deserve a chance
And fight for your heart
To be yours in life
As I seek you to be mine

All I can do is say sorry
Even if it takes me
Day and night
As long as I can be by your side
A slave to your many charms
That no matter what you do
I cannot help it but
Fall in love with you..

More..

Please forgive me.

The crackling bonfire sings a lullaby
Singing in sync with the humming wind
The crashing waves joining the symphony
As the moon and stars put up a light show

Cicadas join the fray in chorus
As the palm trees sway in a dance
The space in between us growing closer
Our hearts booming like drumbeats

The sands grow warmer
As our bodies move in closer
My gaze in a hypnotic trance
Fixed upon your sparkling eyes

Your breathing patterns sound erratic
As you pull my head closer to yours
My hands are shaking crazily
As I hold you closer in an embrace

Your breath feels calmingly warm
With a slight scent of peppermint
Mixed with a subtle hint of alcohol
The fragrance makes my head go haywire

Your lips puffed up in anticipation
Wanting and waiting for a sweet sensation
As I lean in with passionate emotions
And seal the deal of this romantic connection

My head feels light and dumbfounded
The nerves of my brain in crazy overload
So this is what kissing feels like
When it’s done by two people madly in love

My hands are sweating buckets
As they sweetly caress yours
I hope you won’t ever notice
How wild my heartbeats have become

Every moment replaying in my mind
Like movie reels vividly coming to life
While I look at your sleeping face
And your body lying on top of mine

God, I pray to hear that soft, whispered breathing
Every morning I wake up and every night I sleep
A soothing lullaby to my dreaming heart
And a concrete reality I want to wake up to

Sunlight slowly rising in the horizon
As the winds run in a different direction
A long kiss greets me good morning
The sweet smile you gave etched in my eyes

I hope that the warmth this night gave us
Would stay in our souls ‘til we’re old and grey
I long to love you 'til I draw my last breath
And in your loving arms I'd rather stay

Living life with no regrets
Loving fiercely and passionately
Making the most of our mortal lives
In living fully on borrowed time

It comes once in a lifetime
A love that consumes us
Burning our very cores
Melding both body and soul

Often times we feel the pain
More so than feeling the pleasure
But I guess that's how love works
Eternal devotion to the one you choose

If given the chance to relive my life
To make all my wrongs right and correct
I'd rather relive it the way it is
And lead me to you the same way it did

If given the chance to choose again
Out of the billions of people in the world
I'd rather choose you and be broken by you again
Than to have never met and loved you at all

I'd rather love you
Than to love anyone else
Since you complete my life
And I, yours

The world may be against us
Star-crossed lovers in a vast uncertainty
But hear me when I say
That I choose you against the world
Because all this time
You became the world to me
You are the world I choose
Even if Destiny is against it
Even if Fate doesn't approve of it
Even if Eternity frowns upon it
My heart screams for your name
No matter how much my mind tells me
"NO"
I'll love you 'til the end of time
With a resounding
"YES"

I'm in a trance..

My knees are shaking
My throat choking on words
My face beaded with sweat
My mind in a chaotic state

Here I am..

Wearing this heart of mine
On a sleeve of uncertainty
The words trying to come out
From this stomach filled with butterflies

How do I say this?

Ever since that day we met
You already caught my attention
My eyes we're looking towards you
With every little thing you do

Everyday you sparkled..

Like stars in a dark night sky
Every little thing about you
Set sparks in my ******, depressing life
Little cinders slowly burning my anxieties away

Until I was set ablaze..

Consuming every bit of me
Occupying my every thought
And before I was aware of it
You pulled my heart towards you

It consumes me..

This insanity I call ''you''
It makes me writhe in pain
But also eases my sorrows
Burning me to my core

I'm going crazy..

I never even planned this
To fall in love with my best friend
But the more time we spent together
Made me realize that I always wanted you

It's not an easy thing..

To tell you that you consume me
And that I want you to be mine
And I, to be yours only
To be more than what we have now

I want to take you..

And lead you towards an uncertainty
That may completely destroy what this is
But the only thing I know for certain is
That these feelings are real and overflowing

So..

Here I am terrified
Giving my heart to you
Whether you break it or throw it away
Know that from this day on
I declare to the world
That I want to us to be more
Than what we are now
And that this heart that I give
Will always belong to you

Writing this piece not with my mind but my heart,
Not with my thoughts, but with my feelings
It's not easy to say
but I wanna say it anyway

I love you.