To that sweetest belle
That touched my life
It's been one year since then
When you walked in my life
As graceful as a summer sun
And showed me a way
And a new place
To spread my wings
Where I can express
The truest me
And where I can truly be
Free

Thank you..

Dormant feelings waking up
Awkward emotions dripping like sweat
I can't seem to erase this smile on my face
Just because I'm seeing you again today

Its been a long distance friendship
And a long time since I last saw you
I don't know if this is simply my excitement
Or some new emotions I'm feeling for the first time

You were closer to me when we were far apart
But now it seems I can't reach you even when you're near
I don't know if this is the right thing to do
But I know its the right thing to feel

God, if these feelings aren't from You
Please take them away from my heart
Do I save the long time friendship?
Or act upon these untested and unsure feelings?

Because now that you're near
I realized how much you mean to me
But as soon as you go and leave again
This heart might feel broken again

I simply pray, dear God
That if she's the one for me
Somewhere along our winding paths
The roads we take will merge
And she'll pull my hand
To lead me to the happiness
You wanted me to have

It's slowly dwindling away
Crumbling into pieces
That can never be repaired
Breaking down to the point
Of no return

I'm loosing it
The ability to feel
To give in to my emotions
Its as if my sanity
Slowly sinks into oblivion

I used to have them
Feelings of joy
Of sadness and pain
Of anger and lust
Or even love

But as the days pass by
And age catches up
My heart begins to harden
To feel as cold as ice
Like I'm barely even alive

I was once a young boy
With eyes full of dreams
And a heart full of courage
An unwaivering mindset
To take the world head on

But Reality was cruel
I kept searching for happiness
But all it gave was pain
And as I succumbed to endless pain
I started to not care at all

Years passed by and yet
I still struggle in the pain
I still endure the bitterness
Stuck on my mouth
As if it were candies

Soon after I'm left here
Wanting to feel again
Wanting my chest to swell
With anger or excitement
I don't even care which

I just want to start feeling again
For time to move from hereon
To exist again in this timeline
To love and lose once more
To experience emotions like so

They still evade me though
The feelings that once coloured
The corners of my heart
And graced the different periods
Of my rollercoaster life

Someday I may lose it all
The emotions that once
Made me feel alive
I'm a dead man walking right now
Just waiting for the final execution

I hope someone intervenes
I hope that phone call comes
The call thats saves me from
This endless pit I don't want to go to
An emotionless and dull damnation

Because I don't wanna lose it all
I just want to feel that I exist
And that I am worth something
That I am worth saving
And I deserve to be alive even as the mess I truly am

I simply want to feel again..

Time stopped frozen
Pain heavy in my chest
My heart in a sudden shock
My eyes holding back the tears

You said its over briefly
I'm left here thinking why
You left without a trace
While here I am trying to get by

Sitting in a bar every night
Drinking alcohol 'til come daylight
Sleeping alone in different motels
Since the bed you left at home feels cold

I can't eat nor sleep
Feeling limp and lifeless all over
My heart you took away
My soul wandering to where you might be

God, it hurts so much
Since she left me here standing
In a road leading to nowhere
My life in a permanent standstill

I don't want anything else
I just beg for your return
But even if I scream all my pleas
Would you even listen to me?

You were my morning sunshine
You are my evening storms
You are my sweetest tragedy
Your departure my biggest enigma

The hole you punctured in my heart
Grows emptier as the days go by
Tears falling down each passing midnight
Praying to see your face just one last time

I hope I could just do it over
Fall in love with you all over again
Making the right choices this time
Could you have stayed in my life?

God, I beg for your return
Welcoming me with arms wide open
Greeting me with passionate kisses
An embrace with no intention of letting go

I'd do anything just to have you back
Just to relive the days we were in love
When you were all I need in my life
Looking forward to seeing you smile

This love of ours was worth a lifetime
Yet that lifetime was snuffed out in a instant
I don't think I'll get over you, now or ever
Here I am waiting for my clock to start ticking again

The tensions spiking high
Emotions running wild
As we stare in each other's eyes
Anticipating each other's moves

I'm sinking hard and deep
Into those hypnotic brown eyes
My heartbeats jumping intensely
As I try to hold on to my sanity

Steadily reaching breaking point
As we try to maintain control
Quickly loosing this battle
As Desire makes way to the surface

Like floodgates on release
Lust overwhelming our senses
Like dangerous animals on rampage
All over each other's bodies

My senses in overdrive
As I give in to the rush
My hands moving independently
As it explores every inch of you

Kisses feel like wild fire
Melting my brains on the inside
******* my lips vigorously
Making me want even more

I can't even stop to think
My mind going blank and haywire
Your every kiss proving not enough
As I strip away every clothing from you

The panting grows heavier
As we explore each other's wild sides
Like wandering travelers
Seeking each other's secrets

Soft moans growing louder
As I kiss between your thighs
Slowly welcoming each caress
Like a secret being gradually revealed

Sweet nectar overflowing
As I go deep within your being
Your hands pulling my hair
Guiding me to where you want me

Give in to the pleasure
As I caress you sweetly
Stay still and don't resist
Let's make this love feel incredible

Just give in to my every touch
As I gave in to each of yours
Let's make sweet love, dearest
Let the wanton lust be unleashed

Bodies colliding uncontrollably
Kisses increasing in intensity
Instincts shifting to reach ******
This carnal union showing no mercy

The sweet moaning music to me
As I ****** my all deep into you
Your teeth sinking into my lips
As we reach the end of this torrid encounter

Finally reaching the heaven we seek
Leaving us wasted and exhausted
Yet as your body rests on mine
It makes me want you even more

More of this incredible love
More of this uncontrollable lust
More of this wanton desires
Ultimately, more of your body
And more of you

This wanderlust of mine
Wanting to explore more of you
Remains unquenched and desiring
To see more of the untouched you

This is it
The end of the line
This is us
At our last goodbye

Its been fun
Its been wild
This roller coaster ride
Of being in each other's lives

I felt the pain
I felt the pleasure
I've seen all the colors
And even all the gloom

We had flown to the highest heaven
Yet had fallen to the deepest hell
We used to hold each other tight
But have now drifted far apart

I'm not good at goodbyes
I guess you aren't too
'Cause even when we're far apart
You still miss me, and I, you

But now here I am bleeding out
Pulling my legs away from you
Pushing your hands away from me
Realizing a truth that brings pain to me

Love is not always the answer
That our thirsty hearts must seek
'Cause even if we are desperate for it
Its not always what we need

A final kiss to seal the deal
A last embrace just for one final feel
So long, dear love, the one my life seeks
But the love that wasn't supposed to be what it needs

Running through the midnight
Against every nightmare
Reaching for the sunlight
Against all the odds

23 years of Grace
23 years of Love
23 years of Struggles
23 years of Madness
23 years of Sadness
23 years of Joy
23 years of Life

Though this life is young
And this journey is just beginning
23 years have passed
And yet I still live
Still seeking my purpose
Still seeking my place
I still tread on
With gratitude in my heart
And courage for everyday
I pray for 23 years and more
In this colorful life of mine
As I paint a masterpiece
That would last a lifetime