Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
  Jan 2018 Lin
MJS
I remove my emotions, shut down my heart.
No longer allow life to trouble me because that’s how it all starts.

[I CLOSE MY EYES, THE COLD BLADE SLIDES CUTTING DEEP. WITH ONE SLICE EVERYTHING CHANGES]

Anxiety grips and takes control pulling everything down into this tiny black hole.
No use fighting just go with the flow.
You will rise again and go on with the show...

[THE BLOOD FILLS THE SPACE CREATED BY THE SCLICE. AT FIRST A TRICKLE AND THEN EBBING FURTHER AWAY FROM LIFE]

I place myself in this cage to preserve my life. From the outside I appear cruel and riddled with strife.

[I STARE AT THE RIVER OF RED. MY EYES START TO CLOSE, HEAVY EYES. MY MIND FEELS FREE]

I fight this battle every day.
My fight, my rules...
I will always find a way to win...

My cage is my way....
Lin Jan 2018
What am I to do?

Tear up my clothes
Thread by thread

Pull my hair out
Until my scalp bleeds

Chew everything I own
Until I have nothing left

What am I going to do?
What am I going to do?
Lin Jan 2018
This poem is no good
These thoughts that loom

I try to turn this frown
But I can’t help feeling down

I fake a smile
When I need to cry

With these demons
I feel like a heathen

I want to drown
Cause I’m feeling down

And this poem is no good
Lin Jan 2018
I want to cry the day away
Because I’m not feeling great
There is no where I could go
To get away from the hole
That’s in my soul
I try to scream my pain away
Because I’m not feeling great
There is no where I could go
To get away from the hole
That’s in my soul
Lin Jan 2018
Built my walls so high
That no one can climb
Even I fall down them sometimes
What can I say
Can’t keep these feelings at bay
No matter how much I hate
They still are there
They won’t disappear
Surrounded by what I fear
I try so hard
But I can’t get far
Because I built my walls so high
That no one can climb
Even I fall down them sometimes
Lin Jan 2018
A new year has begun
This one has been so long
A whole new start
You can make things better
Be happier
Do something with your life
You can make it great
But you don’t
You do another repeat
Of frowns
And downs
And lying
While you’re crying
You do this every year
Everyday
You say things are going to be great
That problems will magically disappear
But as they say
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”
If that is true
The I am a loon
Everyone always says ‘New Year, new me’. New Year hasn’t really ever seemed like a big difference for me, though.
Lin Jan 2018
Keep your head up
And chill for once
Let your thoughts stop
And let yourself be free
Turn your frown
Upside down
Don’t let them beat you
And rise to the top
Be the best of the best
And never loose
That’s what they all say
But is it really true?
Everyone seems to just say ‘Cheer up’ like I want to not be happy and cheerful. I really do. I want to be social and make others smile and laugh, but I can barely bring myself to say ‘hi ‘. Is it supposed to be hard or am I doing something wrong?
Next page