How do I know if it's real?

I think about you
I fantasize about you
I spend most of my time trying to figure out how we fit together
But does that truly qualify as love?

I'm confused.

How can I know if what you're giving me is real love or fictional?
You were never one to go by the books
Yet you count every minute we're together,
like we're one of those post-****** couples on Facebook,
who just have to share what we're doing every two seconds of each day.
Does that even qualify as love?

The media describe it as something that you just fall into
But I'm sure that I'm falling, tumbling and face-planting in the bad way
You're not a prince and this isn't a scenario where we're gonna live happily ever after. So why are we fooling ourselves and following the status quo?

Why does being with you confuse me so much?

****. I wish I had all the answers.

Please don't search my skin every morning and night
As if I'm one of your art pieces that isn't quite right
You'll stare at your drawings for hours wondering what you need to change
You erase all the wrong lines till you've painted over them
In order to perfect your piece
My skin is not your canvas
You cannot erase the marks I have made
I'm not a piece to be speculated by an artist
Who never deems any of her pieces worthy.
If you like I can frame myself for you
And tuck myself away in the dusty crevice of your room
A graveyard for all your unfinished pieces;
The ones that even you could not fix

When there is more
Sincerity
And honesty
In kisses at the airport
Than in wedding halls
C'est la vie
When poison
Smells like roses
And the poor
Drink it like wine
Seeing no other way out
C'est la vie
When humans hunt humans
And I'm not talking witches in the dark ages
But folk that have taken alternate
Life choices
In the 21st century
C'est la vie
When this world is not
What your heart expected
Rolling from the top
Plummeting
Into an abyss
Of old memories
When you were young
And simple things meant the world
C'est la vie
When promises are broken
And the tide gets too high
C'est la vie
When your heart sinks
And all the people you love
Can't see through your lies
Surrounded by millions
Somehow your still on your own
C'est la vie
Then you learn
That you will always keep rolling
Breathe and go through the motions
Life it keeps happening
Without permission
But your brain might be on pause
C'est la vie
You entered this world crying
And will leave to the sound of cries
*C'est la vie

I don't know what I expected
but it wasn't this
I never thought we would ever
be awkward
uncomfortable silences
forced smiles
a sickening politeness
when we're both dying inside
just say something
tell me once
stop me
and I'll turn around
I'm not that strong
if only you knew
my weakness was you
that day
a stubborn pride got in our way
too proud to be the first to submit
first to let go or forgive
but I was begging you inside
inside I was broken
inside I wept

I want to make you fit
In my poems
With perfect rhymes
Short and sweet
But there's nothing poetic about
Haunted eyes
That pierce the soul
Cold and calculating
I could tell
They had seen things
Not meant to be seen
I know I was there
I remember it all too well
So tell me about your past
And I'll tell you about my scars
We'll tell each-other like the future is ours
And make poetry out of silence
Atmospheres that can't be explained
A comfortable presence
That does not need to be over-complicated with words