L O V E  is...

Put someone else First before your self.

truth be told,
I am not that bold.
It is a jab into my eye,
a reality full of lies that my mom blames this distress.
Hold on, I can't tell black from white. Might as well be blind, I can predict even the scenic route that people doubt. My whereabouts are no longer in a crowd, standing with witnesses is unhealthy for me.
I want privacy, isn't being alone key anyways? Who is to care
if I write "Beware" or just  stare. In the end, there is this sentence left to bare. Always interpreting the language I so rarely speak. Energy may flow for others, but I am not a plug one can spark by lousy remarks.

I was falling down, my face was masked into a frown,
I was giving up, my heart had felt enough,
And as I hurt, I thought it was the end,
I never knew, that you were just around the bend.

You took my hand, and helped me stand,
And then I smiled, I knew I’d have you for a while.
You were my saving grace, told me I was not a waste,
You’re my knight in shining armour,
My one and only lover.

You kissed my cheek, made my heart weak,
And then I smiled, I knew I’d have you for a while.
You are my life, my love, you make me fly just like a dove,
You’re my knight in shining armour,
My favorite kind of charmer.

And now, I don’t know, what I would do without you.
You’ve showed me things that I never knew that I could do.

I was falling down, my face was masked into a frown,
I was giving up, my heart had felt enough,
And as I hurt, I thought it was the end,
I never knew, that you were just around the bend.

when i’ve lost my keys and i’ve completely overturned my apartment
when i’m collapsed and sobbing in a frustrated heap on the carpet
when i’ve spilled cocoa krispies all over the nightgown that has seen over half my life
when i’m standing among girls who are half my height
when i make the mistake of wearing a gray shirt to the gym
when i bite my thumb nervously because i can’t seem to fit in
when i refuse to wear my glasses even though i can’t see
when i’m asking my mother through tears what could possibly be wrong with me
when my bangs are sticking to me because my kitchen is too hot
when i dance after too much ***** and my friend politely asks me to stop

i remember when you said i was gentle
you told me i was gentle and suddenly i’m bite size
a miniature form of myself dressed in lace
and i wait patiently for someone to pick me up
but smile with perfect contentment in my place

welcome home!

i don’t have money for balloons but i figure since the county had enough money to repaint the roads, white and yellow might be just enough color to welcome you back to northeast ohio.

it’s a nice contrast.  against the grey sky and the grey grass and the grey trees and my greying hair.  

but enough about me.  tell me what you’ve seen.

you’ve seen the pyramids and the pyrenees and the pygmies and the phillipines and i’ve seen pennsylvania and passed through Paris township

you’ve seen thailand and i’ve seen a therapist

you’re taking your life as far as you can take it and i take a pill because there are times when i just can’t take anything but enough about me

welcome home

i don’t have money for flowers but i figure since the county had enough money to repaint the roads, we could take a drive while you talk to me about all the girls you’ve seen.  

the ones who are prettier than me with beautiful accents while my tongue is heavy with the cleveland “A” and my hair is turning grey and i’m starting not to wear so much makeup but you won’t notice anyway

you’ve crossed mongolia while i threw pennies in the monongahela

you’ve leaned your head on the wailing wall and i’ve leaned my head on my bathroom wall, wailing because i actually wanted you after all

i looked so beautiful that day and you know it.  i looked at the mirror and thanked god for giving me at least one day.  

and then i looked at you and i cursed him for not giving me at least one more.

welcome home.  

i don’t have any plans but i figure since the county had enough money to repaint the roads, we could end up wherever you wanted.

i don’t know what the roads you’ve been on were lined with, with but here they’re lined with telephone lines and cash advances, even though no one talks to each other and we’re not advancing on anything, let alone cash

things haven’t changed.  except my hair is getting gray but you’ve known me for twenty years, it was bound to happen someday.  and i’ve decided that not wearing a lot of eye makeup is okay because i can see my family every day that way

but enough about me.  tell me what you see.  

i don’t have any place to be.