Here, the gods did not listen
When you cried
Here, disarmed
Here, fallen
Here, I laid you down
With kisses soft
Until you fell asleep forever

Here, the gods did not listen
When I cried
But I made sure the earth remembered
When you died
Here, in the pool of ichor
I planted my heart in disguise
And blood-red windflowers grew

Here, here and here –
I have loved you

When the son said "Father
What must I do'
I'll do it no matter the cost."
The Father replied,
"There's only one thing to do
You must follow the road to the cross."

Mocked and scorned and beaten
He gave his life
For the lost;
He did not wish to go
But he followed the road to the cross.

The way to the cross isn't easy
It's narrow and it's straight;
But it's a road that must be taken
If we're to enter Heaven's gate.

i was born with a sickness that dripped from ***** blood bag
she was born with gold ribbons tying her skin together
i wish i could have pulled a little harder
unraveled her from the outside in


she said i was small and insignificant


i told her to water me
give me incisors
sharpen them like the knives in my kitchen drawer
you won't recognize her  


can you drown in the forced love of yourself?

i love me i love me i love me i love me i love me

is that why i can't dig up the old roots that she buried inside my chest?
i am filled to the brim with artificial self love
where does the love for other people fit inside?
im a broken puzzle piece that only fits inside itself
i thought i had found all my pieces but really
it was an ampersand
trying to make a bridge to cross from one life to another
smooth sailing


oh mother

oh father

you created something that looks like how scratches on a chalkboard sound
i am
so
so

sorry

Someone just said something about me,
It’s starting to drive me crazy,
Oh please don’t make it start again,
This isn’t a feeling that can be supported by any men,

My thoughts are beginning to race,
At much too fast of a pace,
I keep trying to make it stop,
I can already feel myself drop,

It’s called anxiety,
Oh there goes gravity,
Here comes insanity,
And everyone’s pity,

I’m starting to lose control,
I can’t feel myself as a whole,
I need help,
I need help,

Here we go again,
I can’t wait for,
The moment when,
My head stops its own war,

It’s called anxiety,
It’s not ending anytime now,
It’s being juged in our society,
It’s not something we should allow,

It’s called anxiety,
Oh there goes gravity,
Here comes insanity,
And everyone’s pity

I just want to explain how I feel.
My throat is tight and each breath I take I have to spend extra time trying to make sure I can actually breathe.
Sometimes, I can't.
Sometimes, I try to breathe but it won't work and I get dizzy. I feel dead. Numb.
I try so hard just to breathe and it doesn't work.
I want to talk. I wish I could say everything I want to say. But it's really hard to talk when you can't breathe.
I want to love. I want the feelings that I know I used to have back. I want all my feelings back. But, nowadays it's as if I can't feel a thing. Numb.
I tried to cry. For 2 hours. I wanted to know I was still alive, that I was still a person with air and lungs and feelings. No tears came out. I never cried. I want to so bad. I don't know if I am even alive anymore.
But I want to be.
God, I want to live so bad.
I used to think I wanted to die. I used to tell myself I wanted to vanish from life and be gone forever.
I don't..
I want to live. It is so exhausting to want to live. Have you ever wanted to live?
Does anyone, anywhere, want to live?
I can't live. I've been trying for so long and I'm so exhausted. I'm so over it. I am so over wanting to live. Please.

I clutch my sheets around myself
Screaming into eternity as I blow my last breath
I cannot tell if you are watching me
Because my eyes have been scratched and my neck has been broken

I jolt like a twisted locomotive
Creaking the bed,slamming it against the wall
I lose myself in such a frenzy Of my own soul
I'm caging my senses
Caging everything as the beads of sweat grip my body as they find their new home.

I dance a new dance of fear
Of uncertainty and possibly insanity
This record has played for weeks, it'll keep going

There once was a girl so young and naive

She was kind and her heart she would give

But she was also shy and hid behind her hair

Because lingering in her mind was constant fear

She tried for years to beat the timidness

But all her dreams were crushed by her shyness

As a result no one got to see how huge her heart was

And eventually,she became a lost cause.