I had my first dream last night that you weren't in.
not even a minor character,
your ****** name wasn't even in the credits,
let alone plastered across the sky in flashing lights
like you want it to be.
my first reality that you didn't belong in,
and it was the most blissful peace that I can remember since we bathed in pools of cloud.

I heard the first song that didn't make me think of you yesterday.
the lyrics, for once, were just lyrics,
not an embodiment of you and the things you do.
guess what?
it was coldplay.
you always hated coldplay.

this morning, I basked in the sun and didn't picture you coated in gold light beside me.
I didn't look at the leaves adorning the trees and picture your face laughing beneath it.

I didn't trace the plate lines of my palm and imagine the earthquake we used to create when yours collided with mine.

I didn't eat new food that I wanted you to try and I didn't want to share the smallest details of my day with you.

you may have won this poem, loverboy,
but don't be too triumphant.
your victory won't last long.
it's the era of my new beginnings without you and I'm going to be just fine.

"I'm an open book"
She says

Written in
code.

Do you still think of me
At random during the day?
Wonder what I'm doing
Or where I am
Or what I'm thinking?
Do you still dream of me
Being with you
In some beautiful place?
Do you still miss my voice
Or wish for my touch?
Do you still
Or is it just me?

I cried again tonight
Thinking about why he left

Why do I do this to myself?
It’s time to move on

But for some reason
I feel like Im back at square one.

im not going to give you credit
and say that you are the one that
you obliterated my life
because i can do that by myself

im not going to give you fame
by saying you tortured me
because i can do it

i am going to tell you
you made me strong enough to leave
and smart enough to know when to leave