I want to be a leaf.
A tiny leaf atop a tall tree,
where darkness holds no sway,
where the stars shine during long nights,
where the sun can warm me on tough days.

I want to watch as foxes run,
to hear the wolves howl at the moon,
to feel the wind and rain on me,
to be one with nature.

I want to live the life of a leaf
without suffering and pain,
to be at peace and feel safe
when I bloom and when I fall.

You know those tears I so often shed?
They are but beads of so many emotions yet also the absence of such
My eyes leak until they are tired
You think these tears make me weak
That I am ruined
Yet I weep for I am tortured
I weep for I am grateful
I weep for I know not how to live without such intensity
I weep for those I cannot help
I weep for those who lost the battle I continue to fight
I weep for the ones I love and the love I won when I met him
I weep to cleanse my body of all evil
But mostly I weep to remind myself that I am still alive
My heart beats even when it is hurting
My soul sings louder to compensate for the times it has been crushed
For it wishes to be heard above the chorus of supressed hopes and dreams
The fear has made me a coward, you say
But no, I persevere
Despite the trepidation you fail to understand, I remain
To weep and be heard weeping is strength like no other
To be vulnerable in the face of judgement
In the presence of such paralysing fear that holds you hostage and mercilessly lingers
Is to be an injured soldier in the war that is life
But to never surrender

she was not broken like the rest of us
her brokenness was all her own
and she didn't know what was scarier-
                                                        ­ being different or being alone.

Sometimes I think he’s too good for me
He’s too kind
And there are all these words
That come out of my mouth like
*****
Because I’ve been alone so long and
Don’t know how to just let him be nice to me.
I am controlling,
But he’d insist I’m fiercely independent.
I am difficult,
But he’d tell me to never change.
The day after we had met,
He had said just that,
Yet I am constantly wanting to do the opposite.
I’ve spent so many years blaming myself for my own abandonment
That this all seems like a strange but beautiful dream.
Even so, somehow,
with just two words in the quiet of the morning,
He makes me feel like everything




“Hey, beautiful.”

Those eyes how they pierce into me and see all that I am. It's almost as though he's toying with me. He knows the way my body works. It's as though he finds pleasure in teasing me.
Those eyes how they pierce into me and see all that I am. He knows he has me and I've become submissive to his touch. So weak to his needs, only wanting to be everything he needs.
Those eyes how they pierce into me and see all that I am. Usually I have such control but he has me under his spell. Once again he has me wrapped around his little finger and he lets me know I am only his and his alone.

If you ask me to describe him,
where will I start?
I can’t possibly fathom my thoughts into words
and turn him into a description of art.

But I can try my best,
try to pick him apart.
Describe him in words,
perhaps in four different parts.

I’d start with volcanoes
for he’s just like one.
Where his touch feels like lava,
but surprisingly calm.

Up next are earthquakes,
since his heart is one.
It makes the world shake
causing me to run.

Third would be hurricanes,
since his mind is one.
He’s a drug I should abstain,
that makes me come undone.  

Last would be forests,
since he’s full of secrets.
Hiding and waiting,
to be uncovered by none.

He’s a mystery,
yet someone I trust.
He is impossible to describe,
and rarer than pixie dust.