Sit in my car with my friends
Mind so far from you
Then
You're ahead, but I don't know that
Your girlfriend comes up to the window of a car in front of us
Just as I've convinced myself it's not you she's talking to
,
You lean out of the window
Your lips
On hers
On and on I can't tear my eyes away
Like a car wreck but I'm the one crashing
Affection I craved that you gave to her
Right
In front of me.
It's easy to forget our conversations when I see you love her
What we had pales, no it dies compared to just a single kiss with her
Something that overtakes my mind every second of everyday is nothing at all.
Your lips
On hers.
Only tears on mine.
Only screams on mine.
Only.
Once I thought you loved me.
Once I thought we were everything.
Then
I saw you kiss her
And lay your head on her chest
I saw you give her everything and realized how little you gave me.
Realized how much I missed.
Months of trying to get over you destroyed
Just
Seeing your lips
On hers

I
I need to write
Why?
Because I'm still awake
And everything feels fake.
I'm stuck in my fantasies
Unable to figure out reality
I can't seem to sleep,
I'm waiting for the rest I seek.
I am trapped in my mind
It's as though my soul has been signed.
To whom I do not know,
I only know that to dreamland I do not go.
I am stuck
Seemingly out of luck
True is false, false is true
Moon is day, Sun is night
Sky is down, Earth is up
Me is I, but I? am not me.
I write
For I cannot dream.
I scream
For I cannot shut my eyes, I am forced to see.
Why am I not fatigued?
I was tired only a moment ago,
When did that leave?
Why is my sleepiness low?
What is missing that causes me to stay awake?
What ails me so that the road to sleep I cannot take?
I know not.
I simply write,
And hope that reality is not fake.

My father
Sick of motor neurones
And holes in the aorta
Has made a decision
Full of heartache and pain
I support
I understand
But the darkness has returned

He has started the journey
The process has begun
I will be by his side
I will hold his hand
I will fight back my tears
My aching heart will stay hidden
But the darkness will come too

I must be brave
For him I must stay strong
He will be frightened
He won't know what will happen
After he has left his body
Does he still believe in God
I'm not sure
I should ask him
I wonder if darkness has got him too.

The least-loved actor on the stage,
She is as beautiful as the moon

... and just as pale.

She stands alone in the spotlight,
Surrounded by darkness

... with the courage to feel.

She is real, honest and truthful,
In this theatre of shadows and lies

... her tears are no act.

you remind me of fields of strawberries
and I love you so much.
But with strawberry fields
come clusters of sadness,
good thing there's a weird
happiness to balance that out.

I have disabled myself,
Thinking about you.
Forty three self induced bruises
to the head, to the head
Forty five, forty six

I got that vibe,
That feeling from you.
I start my appointment
At eight thirty two,
Thirty three, thirty four.

Forty eight, forty nine.

It is not the cure
That will help this,
But only you.
Thirty five, thirty six.

Fifty two, fifty three.

So I try to get you
Out of my head...

Fifty two, fifty three.
So that I can be free.

I have disabled myself
Thinking about you,
But now that I am free,
I don't know what to do.