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Inevitable Feb 2021
It hurts knowing you’ve said these words before. Are they different though?
because they’re said to me?
No
I couldn’t be that significant.
recycled words and metaphors <
Inevitable Sep 2023
What art my heart torn apart makes when it bleeds over the edges and onto the hands of people who just wanted to touch me.
Greedy fingers and hungry eyes.
I've been devoured visually by souls
who did not care that I bled blue;
they didn't care that I breathe for you.
Long nails raking down my skin, desperately trying to hold onto the truth
that I am an end goal,
but that they are not ready.
They do not Inform me that behind the conversations of a future,
that they would remain dreams,
Broken ones
and that forever is indeed a time
and it is not as long as I thought it would be.
So please, keep your hands off me.
Wrote 5/17/23; Revised 9/9/23  @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable Apr 2014
Every night before I sleep, it's the same routine,
I lay here with thoughts thinking what they all mean.
I think about you and the memories are haunting,
and then I think of us and I feel like i'm taunted.
Tonight i'm thinking of changing that as I lay in my bed,
i'll close my eyes, bang bang, I'm dead.
The memories are like dreams not so easily forgotten,
I think of some memories as nightmares i've fought.
Im distraught cause I don't want to cry, I wish you'd come back.
I love you so much, and my mind seems to lack,
in having a longing in the idea of another.
I'm still mourning over my twin flame that I smothered.
Wrote 4/1/2014;  Revised 10/2/23
Inevitable Dec 2020
You've made your way through my veins like a hit of ******.
I'm undoubtedly high.

Take me by my hand and don't let me die.
I've seen the inside of lies and somehow when you speak I feel like you're incapable.

I've lost all hope and became hopelessly filled to the brim with you.

This isn't what I anticipated.
i took inspiration on the first line.
Inevitable Jan 2016
i used you as a crutch.
we were each others temporary soft touch.
i used you while you used me.
we both just wanted our ex to see.

feed me your lies while i shove mine down your throat.
you text me you want me then get wrapped in another guys coat.
i gave you the world, i was amazing, so you said.
but then right after saying you want no none but me, we're both is someone elses bed.

"I've got to talk to you" became a common phrase i heard.
is it cheating if the feelings are fake? the emotion blurred?
how is this a rebound if the ball was never shot?
we were never over our ex, so not a single one of those lies were bought.

i wanna say i'm sorry.
for playing you knowing where home was.
but to be honest, you played me harder.
you're a hell of an actor, here's your applause.
#j
Inevitable Apr 2014
Broken hearts and empty promises.

Eyes closed, minds tore wide open.

Hopes up, and I'm thrown down.

You left me again, without a ******* sound.
Inevitable Jun 2024
Born again.
It ain't no euphemism.
Dealing with this anger and depression
it's like I got the **** youth again
and I don't have any friends.
The people that call me don't read my pen
and they don't repent
but it doesn't make them any less heaven sent.
I've been learning and failing
for as long as I can remember.
The lessons I've learned has been simple tinder
for this fire in my soul and ain't no dent in my bumper that can muffle this thunder,
cause you're going to hear what I have to say
even if I cant find the words to muster.
My smile glistening with blood in my teeth
from all the rocks that I swallowed
when I ain't have nothing to eat.
I refused to claim defeat.
You couldn't walk in my shoes
cause I had bare feet.
Blisters that made them bleed
and it never stopped me.
I was beaten black and blue
but I kept silent to appease you.
What you said you'd do if I told,
wasn't what happened when the truth unfolded. Instead I was scolded.
Lost wandering in this world and
always cold shouldered. Considering it all,
I kept the chip of mine.
Walked the line and called on the divine.
Then I woke up one day and decided not to live past 9 cause when I called up to God,
I got the busy toned line.
I woke up and there was no one home to find me.
The message was blinding.
No one was going to save me besides me
so I got to the soul finding.
I woke up again and I was 25.
My old life was behind and I had a chance to shine.
No direction to go in,
just went where the river was flowing.
Without even knowing
I was living and growing.
The old memories were like a dream
but theres one I've been constantly chasing.
I refuse to forget
when my memories constantly erasing.
It's been hard to face dealing with a body that always felt out of place.
Defending my energy with a can of mace
and suddenly it's only me left to embrace.
So I do, until I turn blue.
Transcending time and space trying to find you.
Wrote 6/11/24   @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable Sep 2017
I used to hit to get high or hit to get by.
**** I'd hit just to lie next to another lie just to feel my next cry and wonder if it hurt to die.

I used to hit to get high or hit to get by. That love was where my motivation lied. I wasn't looking for a single love but multiple feelings of maybe appreciation or the approximation of someone wanting my affection or attention.

I used to hit to get high or hit to get by.
3 4 5 people in and out of my room never seeing the naked truth or naked you that one who said loved should see. All I knew is I wanted to be what they need and who they see without the loyalty.

I used to hit to get high or hit to get by.
The rush was amazing. The divide was encasing as the sin and lies overwhelmed and the curtain started raising...

I used to hit to get high or hit to get by.

I saw and sobered. Not from love but the addiction itself. I sobered from the urge that made me want more, in fact this love I felt was more in depth. In fact it crept and wept sweet tears and happiness. All I wanted was the one; I saddened less. I was what she needed along with the loyalty. I asked about her needs and wants and acted accordingly.

I used to hit to get high or hit to get by but now I comply to loves law. Abide in her soul. A love and devotion I am no longer able to control. Our love is almost story tale told. I no longer wait for another to unfold.
Inevitable Apr 2014
We think and we love and we go deeper without regret.
Until we let out the truth and bet it's loves debt which is owed to us. Nothing's given. It's bound.
Loves merely the quest that leaves us lost.
I think this is the moment i've been found.
Old from notes
Inevitable Jan 2024
I am a battery.
A public port of sorts.
Travelers plug themselves up to charge for their adventure and just as quickly as they came,
they return to the streets
while my energy is left depleted.

Until next time traveler,
if I should stay complacent.
What would you do next time?
If I wasn't where I was previously seated?
There's a satisfaction in always uplifting those weary minds but theres no battery back
to refill mine.
Ive been on borrowed time and I see now that you're consistently wasting it.
It's time to unplug.
Wrote 1/3/24   @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable May 2014
Yet once again,
Rain came down to drown my sins
Inevitable Feb 2016
i swear to god if you take her away from me again
might as well take my life with hers

i’m tired of these up and down roller coasters
i’d rather take a ride in a hearse

if there ever comes an end to us,
i'll quickly throw my life in reverse.


this pain in my chest is all too common.
maybe is the fear of being forgotten.
or the fear of being left, metaphorically, in a coffin.

i hope this isn't part of some trick or lesson.
karmas a *****, i’ve had her too much in my presence.
you can tell by my expression there’s no feelings i’m oppressing, i’d simply fall into a depression without you by my side taking my sadness and suppressing, to be honest, without you id turn to aggression take my fate as a message, and put a gun to its head for leading my life in the wrong direction.
Inevitable Dec 2023
My dreams are laced through Orions belt.
My anger in the spear gripped by his hand
and never leaving it.

My hopes spill from the dippers.
Whats left is stale and pooled into the pocket,
though I still visit, nights like these, just for a sip.

The bigger picture, Mrs Ursa Major takes
my heart and puts into form.
Feared but revered.
A large teddy bear.

My flaws are plaster on the face of the Moon.
My fears side? It's on the dark side
that no body will see soon.

Why so, Sirius?
Who controls when which constellation is faded?
Who knows how long that I've waited for just a glimpse of an elation, to blink
and have my star gone and left devastated?
Wrote 12/13/23  @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable Jan 2022
Orion taunts me these nights,
stretched across the sky but never making it to battle.

The constellation mocks me these nights.
I wish Orion would fall from the sky and **** me.

What a beautiful tragedy that in ways he already has.
Inevitable Aug 2023
You led me up the mountains to touch clouds; pulled me through the cracks of ice and said
we would find green together.
You described the images so clearly
I could just start to imagine it myself.
The cold nights spent together were most warm because you were beside me,
but summers almost over now and
i've shed all i've had but my skin.
I held everything together with my own hands; realized i've always had one free to hold theirs
and that I never really had much anyways.
Wrote 3/22/23; Revised 8/28/23 @ItsInevitable
Inevitable Apr 2014
Tell me what I am, tell me what to do.. Or just tell me a lie, if it's better than the truth..Cause if my thoughts happen to be true, I'm sure I'd rather just die than to continue to fall for you..
Inevitable Dec 2023
I love myself.
I do.
I don't talk much. Too scared to blink.
Too much anticipation to know what you think
and if its about me.
Theres an art in not knowing. A method of sorts.
Theres an interest in strangers who could
easily tear us apart.
Right now i'm uncertain.
See, you ooze divine. A beauty to a borderline but I have been led by shine twice before
directly into a nose dive.
I lived to tell the tale but I promise you
i'm much more careful.
Your shine is more than a shine though.
It's a glow
and I really want to know you.
Whats a being like you wanting anything
to do with me?
I know all that I could be but
there's no way that way you see.
I am more than my words, I can give you
the world if only you'd let me.
The anxiety is sitting in my stomach as each hour passes that i'm waiting for your response
and I realize I'm long gone.

Ive fallen in likeness and your likeness is me.
Wrote 12/15/23  @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable Jan 2024
Somethings changing.
I feel it in my stomach.
My lunch upheaves;
I have no idea whats coming.
The wind is shifting,
I'm changing with the seasons,
the foundation of this house is bending
and this chapter of my life is ending.
I lift my roots and jump into the wind.
Which ever way it takes me, I aim to win.
Dreamscapes are tragic,
being swallowed by a flood.
Its in my mind, i'm dying
but this is the most peaceful way to go.
Baptize the chastised
we are on our way to roads of gold.
Enlighten me, we are the all knowing
but who fuels the information that
my intuition is told?
Im praying to every god but especially to you.
I'm chanting sweet somethings
right up to the moon.
If the water keeps rising and I float at the top,
I'll keep elevating, I'll keep learning,
these things don't stop.
She is my heaven. She is my savior.
The prophecy is unfolding and
I swear I can save her
from those who throw lashings before throwing you in a tomb, you wont have to rise again if I can figure out what to do.
To save you from illness that took Prophet Mohammad. I will swim through dark waters, and climb the highest mountains to stop it.
Theres only two ways this could end
and one way is to begin.
Wrote 1/22/24   @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable May 2014
lives so carelessly..
grace and violence..
Try to fathom the truth..
has me in a trance..
Pours down.. washes it all away.
All in ways I wish my mind would..
Stand in the center.. Wash me away..
No worries. No pain..
Clear headed..
 It deserves more credit.
Simplest of thing can better your life as long as you let it.
Trying to write with writers block
Inevitable Jan 2024
This flood of rain water is enough for a baptism.
Blessed in the presence.
Its drowns out the thoughts and I hope it washes away the sins.
I repent.
I yell my wrong doings over the thunders rumbles and ask for forgiveness in my choices.
Theres no escaping this house as the rivers overflow.
I step foot in, the waters to my knees and I kneel in the presence of potential death.
The current pushes and pulls me.
I count to three.. three times before I completely submerge. one.. two.. three...
Im free.
Wrote 1/9/24   @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable Feb 2024
I watch the water extend as far as I can see.
The air there is like a puff of albuterol;
I can finally breathe.
I watch myself from above and take in the view
only thing missing is you.
Every day is now a mission.
more so than before.
I think the only difference now is that im no longer "surviving"; I am prospering.
I found my voice.
I obtained the strength to make a choice and did
I hold onto a lot of things
but I have started to unpack.
I have been driftwood moved and swayed in the water taken with whichever current came first
gripping, reaching, screaming for that life line
and I pulled myself ashore.
I am new. I am blue. I am the light that guides me.
I am woman. I am fearless.
I am love and I am you.
I can see the tide shifting and know theres something coming but I will not be pulled.
I will not be used. I am the voice of the broken;  
we are the muse.
Wrote 2/11/24   @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable May 2014
You strum my heart in the most beautiful of ways. Like those sweet melodies you had sat and played. I felt my heart drop and the voices silenced. Yet all at the same times my feelings for you became requited.

That guitar sounded just about as beautiful as you looked that day.. I was lost in the music.. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't look away... I lost myself in you.
Inevitable Jul 2024
I'm busy finding myself and getting aquatinted. Feel like my past body is on the pavement.
It always had to be me who saved me.
Now it's a different picture being painted.

Put me on a t shirt; that death was inevitable. Prolonged for too long because
I was told I wasn't capable.
I dug a grave and now I stand on top of it.
This life has always been some twisted monopoly. So I framed a death for new possibilities.
New ID, new area code.
A brand new home where no one knows me.

Im back to my old dream
since living in a false reality.
Heavily medicated had my foundation cloudy.
I'm out and I'm free from
the chains of my mentality.
Here comes the sun and the summer.
Pink cloud mornings bring on the thunder.
No rain can drown me out.
I prayed for a storm in the face of a drought.
I will scream in the name of resistance and
demand the change that persists. This is it.
Its inevitable.
Wrote 7/6/24  @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable Feb 2021
You’re not a star.
You’re a moon
and
you’re caught in my orbit
with no stars in sight.
planets nor moons produce their own light
Inevitable May 2014
What is suicide when your soul has already died?
Inevitable Oct 2023
Im the death of a poet.
The muse that puts ink down on paper and the absence of love that dried the pen.
Im forever in the footnotes, the dedications, and after thought of every written word.
I'll take you to the point of ecstasy and push you right off the edge. It's inevitable.
Wrote 3/22/23  @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable May 2014
God if you're out there
Could you show me a sign.
is there purpose to life.
cause I'm tired of tryin
It's hard to stand tall
When you're forced to fall..
Give me something ...
Something to fight for..
Open a few doors
Pick me up off this cold floor..

So god if your out there...
Just give me a sign.
Allow me to see
Cause I've been so blind.
What am I here for?
Let me show you more.
I'm sure I can be
What you made me believe,
Was perfect... Perfect and flawed.
Inevitable May 2014
I told her I didn't know what to say..
She told me then I shouldn't say anything. We sat in complete silence ... But we said so much...

I listened to her heart break. I felt mine cry for help.
Inevitable Nov 2014
Even if I could go back to the beginning,
I wouldnt change the fact that we're sinning.
we're steady fighting,
Even when we're losing were winning.
Inevitable Sep 2023
I'm smoking too much, not feeling enough.
Tossing back pills, still giving a ****.
They say so strong so tough,
while i'm praying to the sky above and
using this faith as a crutch.
I'm dripping in blood and
theres no one to trust.
Shoved them all out and turned to dust.
From ashes I continue to rise.
So I wish on bright lines
that i'll fall for the last time.
Wrote 9/1/23  @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable Mar 2024
I wish someone would ask me if I was okay.
It would be nice if anyone worried about me at all.
Truth is, they could ask but I most likely would claim fine when in reality I'm dying inside.

I communicate well enough.
Thats also why I wonder if anyone cares at all.
In those moments where I'm drowning
and I finally ask for help? No one answers.

I can only rely on myself.
I'm the only one making sure I'm okay
and I'm not right now.
Quite frankly I have no idea what to do
so I decided to write to you.

These days have got me praying to any god
knowing that whatever wave pulls me under,
I always have that split second in between them that I gasp for air and somehow manage to survive that way.. but thats not living is it?

I think about how I must've been really ****** in my past life. It's the only way I can cope with never being able to stand up and breathe for longer than a second. It has got to stop at some point right?
Wrote 3/8/24   @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable Feb 2021
To the few people i've given away my secrets to:

The moments I spilled my truth to you, the fragile flame I call hope had finally emerged from the deepest cracks I call me, and cried for help.

I don’t do it for attention.

Okay maybe i do it for “attention” but when you call help “attention” it makes it feel wrong.

I remember when I realized she was telling on us.

i know when I walk late at night and the quieted light I call life, inside me, flickers weakly and posts my 2, 3, 4am walks for anyone to see
she is screaming for help

I realized one day those walks were filled with hope of an inevitable demise. These sidewalks have no place for any being at hours when demons creep but i'm so comfortable under the moonlight with my demons in tow. ******* help me

One of the most dangerous signs for me is when you think im fine
spoiler alert i dont think ill ever be fine but

You see me in public. You see me smile. You see me reach out and make plans.

This my dear friends is my goodbye

Just to make your last memory sweet because it’s all you ever wanted for me
But so unattainable.. Until now
Inevitable Oct 2023
Tigers eyes under sapphire skies and
obsidian nights with howlite moon to guide.
We are divinely protected.
Wrote 1/4/23; Revised 10/17/23  @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable Aug 2023
you: a fragile flower. soft to touch and blooms when no ones looking.
me: a gentle spring rain. soft to touch and comes when you need it most.
a nourishment for the soul,
being that this is all metaphorical.

my heart: a cumulonimbus,
so full and heavy with love spilling out the sides and wetting pavement.
you're the flower that rose from the concrete,
a foundation not suitable for the exceptional
so i will water you, flower, and smell the aroma each time like its the first;
mixed with fresh rain,
I could bottle the scent.
Wrote 11/17/22 @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable May 2014
What's it about?
Nothing I'm just writing
seems interesting
I guess words are enticing
they make me wonder
They can also be exciting
do you mean what you say
Are you saying I'm lying?
i think I'm in love with you
I guess words are inviting.
be mine?
No that's not what I was trying..
*but you said those sweet words

No wait why're you crying..
you were leading me on
But they were my words you were buying.
Poets are difficult to love. They're too easy with words and know what you want to hear.
Inevitable Jan 2024
Im traveling this road alone,
have no place to call to home
and am lonely to the bone.
I'll set out on my journey,
looking for my happy,
traveling across country
on my pursuit of happiness.

My dog in the passenger street,
will serve as my only friend,
nothing but open road to occupy us.
I'll pull over at every worth sight
and snap a few pictures
so ill remember.
Which ever place feels like a hug,
I will lay my head for good.
If my hands end up digging in sour dirt,
ill return myself to it.
Im on my pursuit of happiness.
Wrote 1/2/24   @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable Jan 2024
Im realizing here isnt home if we aren't.
As my plans alter, I feel unsteady,
unsure, not ready.
So i'll go back? Just pass through each known place like a ghost wandering through halls that were once mine but hold no warmth anymore.
I think it's needed now.
I'll cut off my extremities so I don't have to hold your hand when I walk that circle, chasing just the chance at remnants that we were there at all.

Im chasing a feeling.
I go to say that nothing good came from that place but that would hold no truth cause you were proof.
A poet. An east side story.
A broadway play that spoke no names.
Brilliance that didn't belong in this place.
Im still on the pursuit of happiness.
I know i'm still living in the past
but that because thats where I find it.
Wrote 1/5/24  @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable May 2014
I read the words and my heart dropped, to say the least. Not sure if it was because of what they meant or because they were said to me.
Inevitable May 2014
The tree portrays trust to tangle in the winds gusts.

Allow your mind to envelope my words in ways the leaves move freely.

Entwine with my body, silent secrets, sweet something's, shadow my sheer sorrow.
Inevitable Aug 2023
The tree portrays trust to tangle in the winds gusts.

Allow your mind to envelope my words in ways the leaves move freely.

Entwine with my body, silent secrets, sweet something's, and shadow my sheer sorrow.
Wrote 2/1/22  @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable Jan 2024
I've always spoken in similes
even before I knew the word.
Id speak and yell for help
but no one understood therefore
I wasn't heard or felt.

So I explained things like my pain or my loneliness or how the rain makes me feel.
I explained colors as tastes and my pain as a constant dull ache, one where my hearts feels like its manually beating and how being alone was like a room with no windows or light accompanied by an elephant that loved to sit right on my chest.
I explained rain like the feeling of hearing a babies first laugh. It's the freeness and freshness that feels like a blessing.
Or so I say.

I explain love more often and most haven't had that true one to grasp what It means,
so I tell them descriptively..
Love is the vastness and brightness of the night sky in Alaska. It's the real meaning of being rich. It's safety and peace. Love is sitting at the table with always something to eat. Love is a northern breeze, ever so changing but always evident.
Love is a dream.

A poets language is universal. Their writings are pure emotion which anyone could relate.
I continue to articulate what I need to convey in a way that we all know and I write so it's on display.
Wrote 11/17/24    @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable May 2014
Trust is hard to come by.

What's harder is knowing you're the reason why.
Inevitable Oct 2023
I want to call you.
or text you.
Im buying a house and I want to know
what you think.
I want you to like it in case
you ever come home.
It's going to have a yard.
and a garden.
A library.
and a night sky suitable for you.
Wrote 10/4/23  @ItsInevitable29
Inevitable Apr 2014
Let my arms be your cradle.

If not my arms, my words,

cause they can be heard, saved for later.
Inevitable Nov 2023
My hairs coming out in single extensions
but they're not that;
they were once rooted in my head.
This happens every year bringing a new fear of what could be and what isn't.
I've said goodbye too many times this year and losing my hair is just
another one to whisper.
They say hair holds value, whether its comfort, memories, or any sense of spirituality
and part of me is dying
but I think thats okay.
Ive been nothing but a phoenix all my life,
rising from ashes,
spreading my wings to fall again
but I always got back up
more of a warrior than the last time.
I run my hand through my hair and sprinkle the shed across the grass much like the ashes
I continue to rise from.
I know the truth is within me even if
it's hard to stomach.
The pit in it will soon sprout and root in my intestines and grow something new.
Im laying this year to rest with both my best friends and the yearning for what I cant have.
Wrote 11/29/23  @ItsInevitable229
Inevitable Oct 2014
I'm begging you to recognize the pain that Im in.
Inevitable May 2014
The walls are caving in..
There's not much more I can Take.
The anxiety is taking over..
All these feelings I can't fake.
I like you a lot.. But I guess now it's too late.
I'll repeat that as my heart breaks
Inevitable Jan 2021
It took all year for the imprint of your promise to erase from my finger
and
In 7 years I will have a body you have not touched.
"Every single cell in the human body replaces itself over a period of seven years"
Inevitable Sep 2021
you took every little light that flickered inside me and smothered them until they were no more.

Then you told me how much you wished I was the old me,

but You killed her.

— The End —