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Sep 20 · 22
I talk to my therapist
Inevitable Sep 20
I talk to my therapist about a hypothetical girl.

but you’re not hypothetical at all.

I talk to my therapist about the good feelings more than the bad and I talk about how I think you got away.

My therapist talks to me.

She thinks i’m in an  
emotionally abusive relationship
i think she could be right

Then I think about you and how you are only a dream now. but

I talk to my therapist about you.
Sep 10 · 23
Karmic Relationship
Inevitable Sep 10
My karmic may have ruined my twin flame connection.
the angels have confused me but maybe because it was in your name.

she gave me the world and I left her with nothing near a goodbye to abide by you who stripped me down to nothing once again and left me with nothing and no one.

*i’m alone
Sep 5 · 36
You broke me
Inevitable Sep 5
you took every little light that flickered inside me and smothered them until they were no more.

Then you told me how much you wished I was the old me,

but You killed her.
Jul 7 · 22
untitled
Inevitable Jul 7
and we’re back again.

in a sense.

I told you I was in love with you.

I can’t forget that you haven’t said it back.
Mar 12 · 43
Newport
Inevitable Mar 12
you taste like cancer
and are equally as bad for me.
so why am I up in tears,
tasting you again,
quitting again?
Feb 11 · 189
spilled secrets //TW
Inevitable Feb 11
To the few people i've given away my secrets to:

The moments I spilled my truth to you, the fragile flame I call hope had finally emerged from the deepest cracks I call me, and cried for help.

I don’t do it for attention.

Okay maybe i do it for “attention” but when you call help “attention” it makes it feel wrong.

I remember when I realized she was telling on us.

i know when I walk late at night and the quieted light I call life, inside me, flickers weakly and posts my 2, 3, 4am walks for anyone to see
she is screaming for help

I realized one day those walks were filled with hope of an inevitable demise. These sidewalks have no place for any being at hours when demons creep but i'm so comfortable under the moonlight with my demons in tow. ******* help me

One of the most dangerous signs for me is when you think im fine
spoiler alert i dont think ill ever be fine but

You see me in public. You see me smile. You see me reach out and make plans.

This my dear friends is my goodbye

Just to make your last memory sweet because it’s all you ever wanted for me
But so unattainable.. Until now
Feb 10 · 186
If you were the moon
Inevitable Feb 10
If you were the moon, i think you'd still pull the tide.

Actually, I feel like you'd push and pull and **** around and create a tsunami.

If you were the moon, i think you'd still light up my nights.

Actually, I feel like you'd come crashing through my sky as a ******* meteor.

If you were the moon, i think you'd still reflect the suns rays.

Actually, i feel like you'd have to admit it hurt; the ******* rays.

But if you were the moon, i think you would burn.

Actually, i feel like you'd validate that the sun burnt you and has left you but
still rises in the east to put you to rest.
The relationship between "star" and "moon".
Feb 6 · 287
I don't have a type
Inevitable Feb 6
I say I don't have a type
but you fit mine so perfectly.
dark and twisty.
a little too familiar.
Feb 6 · 246
AA
Inevitable Feb 6
AA
“don’t water down my love.
drink me straight, no chaser”

sorry, I don’t drink.
Feb 6 · 160
27 //TW
Inevitable Feb 6
My life expectancy is 27

I will be 23 in April and with March approaching fast all i want to do is

stop

We make up 1% of the world population.
approximately 77 million of us among the 7.7 billion

We make up 10% of the worlds sucde rates.
approximately 80,000 out of 800,000 cases per year

I am also a woman meaning i am 3x more likely in general to attempt.

I was never supposed to make it past 11 and now i'm pushing for 27

no

i'm pushing for tomorrow because 27 is much farther away and its much more realistic to make it to tomorrow than to make it to 27.
Borderline personality disorder awareness
Inevitable Feb 6
It hurts knowing you’ve said these words before. Are they different though?
because they’re said to me?
No
I couldn’t be that significant.
recycled words and metaphors <
Feb 5 · 60
Revolver
Inevitable Feb 5
You’re not a star.
You’re a moon
and
you’re caught in my orbit
with no stars in sight.
planets nor moons produce their own light
Jan 29 · 57
open letter
Inevitable Jan 29
you recorded the ketchup smeared walls and broken glass shattered on the kitchen floor.

what you didn't record was your broken heart that you convinced yourself i caused.

you told me to clean up the mess i made.

and with that statement you took my heart and smashed it along with the condiments.

black and white details

I lied to you.

black and white detail

He lied to you.

but you believed a stranger over our 40 months of "love"

i think you intentionally burned me... but i guess you should know by now,

Inevitably,

you burned yourself.
Tea Time: long story short someone tried to say i attempted to be with them while in a relationship. i spoke to the person but only of my partner, all positive to further put but i lied when i said if i had spoke to them. but they lied and said i cheated. she believed them over me, took rings, moved out. ruined everything. i fought for months but was never treated the same and she never believed me. I gave up when she got with my only guy friend which is unforgivable for me, only for the person who lied to her about me to come forward a year later and admit he lied and asking for forgiveness. oh and shes in my phone asking for me back now. no thank you ^.^
Jan 29 · 716
Contact High
Inevitable Jan 29
lovely flowers rooted in my lungs.
medicated exhales clouding the air around us.
i just want you in my space.
Jan 29 · 50
Hospital Walls
Inevitable Jan 29
.shhh.....
I should still be behind them.
Jan 29 · 1.1k
Poet gone quiet
Inevitable Jan 29
I've Always Loved words,
but when i try to write about you, i'm at a lack thereof

You Make my Poetry go quiet.
I'm Used to my mind being so loud
But now I'm Flourishing in silence .
Ive always loved you make poetry. Im used but im flourishing.
Jan 27 · 400
We made it to "forever"
Inevitable Jan 27
It took all year for the imprint of your promise to erase from my finger
and
In 7 years I will have a body you have not touched.
"Every single cell in the human body replaces itself over a period of seven years"
Dec 2020 · 63
late night drives.
Inevitable Dec 2020
we drive down these back roads and I get more lost in you after every turn.
I try not to glance over at you but I know there’s no return from this place i’ve stumbled across.
Let’s get lost.

This crowded mind is silenced by your scent.
a serenity. maybe peace?

Touch me.
your hand falls through me and caresses every jagged edge. Do you mean to?

You look even more beautiful under the moon light. Just you and I under the painted sky. Lost in this ever expanding galaxy. There’s so much more to the world than just us. But when i’m with you, there might as well not be another, i’m enveloped in you. signed sealed and delivered right into your hands.
Dec 2020 · 53
PreTeen
Inevitable Dec 2020
crowded halls of youthful minds searching for likeness in every body.
Surrounded and overwhelmed, the chemical imbalances, I think we all were suffering.
at 12 years old.

My memory of those years are faded but one thing stayed vivid through the years and that was you. mishandled misplaced mistreated and I can take blame.
You’re just as fragile as you were when you were 12.
but I’m much more stronger now at 22.
double my chances, I want to take part in you.
Dec 2020 · 280
"White" Lies
Inevitable Dec 2020
You put the "white" over me,
and chose a man over peace.
she fell down the wrong path and left the love of her life for a man.
Dec 2020 · 133
I think i'm hopeful
Inevitable Dec 2020
You've made your way through my veins like a hit of ******.
I'm undoubtedly high.

Take me by my hand and don't let me die.
I've seen the inside of lies and somehow when you speak I feel like you're incapable.

I've lost all hope and became hopelessly filled to the brim with you.

This isn't what I anticipated.
i took inspiration on the first line.
Dec 2020 · 62
Healing
Inevitable Dec 2020
You must've felt our tie break because you called right away. You tried to stick your hand back in the wound and found out it had already scarred over.
Dec 2020 · 162
That's Unfortunate
Inevitable Dec 2020
She said she's still not over me.
Sep 2017 · 1.2k
Love is a hell of a drug
Inevitable Sep 2017
I used to hit to get high or hit to get by.
**** I'd hit just to lie next to another lie just to feel my next cry and wonder if it hurt to die.

I used to hit to get high or hit to get by. That love was where my motivation lied. I wasn't looking for a single love but multiple feelings of maybe appreciation or the approximation of someone wanting my affection or attention.

I used to hit to get high or hit to get by.
3 4 5 people in and out of my room never seeing the naked truth or naked you that one who said loved should see. All I knew is I wanted to be what they need and who they see without the loyalty.

I used to hit to get high or hit to get by.
The rush was amazing. The divide was encasing as the sin and lies overwhelmed and the curtain started raising...

I used to hit to get high or hit to get by.

I saw and sobered. Not from love but the addiction itself. I sobered from the urge that made me want more, in fact this love I felt was more in depth. In fact it crept and wept sweet tears and happiness. All I wanted was the one; I saddened less. I was what she needed along with the loyalty. I asked about her needs and wants and acted accordingly.

I used to hit to get high or hit to get by but now I comply to loves law. Abide in her soul. A love and devotion I am no longer able to control. Our love is almost story tale told. I no longer wait for another to unfold.
Oct 2016 · 964
Ecstasy
Inevitable Oct 2016
Wrapped around her finger
Metaphorically and physically
The way she looks in my eyes
Heavy breaths exhaling desire
Light reflects off the sweat on our skin
I take a hit off your hips
Inhale your passion
Trace your curves with the tips of my lips
Grip your throat delaying your breaths
A sudden gasp as I explore your love

Follow me into ecstasy
Jun 2016 · 339
7
Inevitable Jun 2016
7
You're my happiness and sadness
but lord knows you keep me sane

For when you are near, i can see clear
You're my clarity when standing in rain
May 2016 · 863
Her flower
Inevitable May 2016
Hands trickle down your naked body like a soft morning mist.
Spreading your legs to expose your beauty.
Petals of your beautiful rose shine and welcome me.
Lookin deep into your eyes straight into your heart.
My tongue caresses your flower, sipping from your fountain.
Your body moves gracefully in pleasure.
Placing my hands on your hips to grip and lick...
Feeling you grip my tongue involuntarily as you climb to the point of ecstasy.
Gaining speed, grabbing on tighter.
Your body trembles wrapping your love in mine
expressing mine physically
Connected mentally
Her rain falls down ... Not a drop hits the sheets
May 2016 · 373
9/13/14
Inevitable May 2016
If mortality were more based off morality than the way things happen practically; things and emotion wouldn't come forth dramatically, the good wouldn't die young and the bad would die drastically.
Feb 2016 · 449
my talk with god
Inevitable Feb 2016
i swear to god if you take her away from me again
might as well take my life with hers

i’m tired of these up and down roller coasters
i’d rather take a ride in a hearse

if there ever comes an end to us,
i'll quickly throw my life in reverse.


this pain in my chest is all too common.
maybe is the fear of being forgotten.
or the fear of being left, metaphorically, in a coffin.

i hope this isn't part of some trick or lesson.
karmas a *****, i’ve had her too much in my presence.
you can tell by my expression there’s no feelings i’m oppressing, i’d simply fall into a depression without you by my side taking my sadness and suppressing, to be honest, without you id turn to aggression take my fate as a message, and put a gun to its head for leading my life in the wrong direction.
Jan 2016 · 678
homeward bound
Inevitable Jan 2016
she never read my poetry. matter of fact she never gave a **** about anything that did to me.
she never tried to learn me, every chance she had she was intentionally trying to burn me.
I started thinking about a quote I once heard.
you accept the love you think you deserve.
when in reality no one deserves less than the world.
I was killing myself mentally, making myself go through hell with this girl.
knowing she wasn't anything, literally, wanting to go back home, critically, missing home, physically, speaking out my *** potentially ruining any chance I had of coming back home.
I was home sick but I was sick of home.
my mind made up a whole story of it own,
made me hate her for doing things for reasons she didn't, saying things she wouldn't, hurting me on purpose..
she hurt me on purpose, but we both had guns. I pulled my trigger first and they both turned automatic.
rapid fire shots sending head shots every round.
yet we were still standing,
fighting for the one thing we knew that wasn't dead.
white flags waving we realized we were fighting for the same thing.
fighting to come back home.
for my home was her, as her home was me.
italicized home, her, and she are a different person than the "she" referred to in the beginging
Jan 2016 · 395
i wanna say im sorry
Inevitable Jan 2016
i used you as a crutch.
we were each others temporary soft touch.
i used you while you used me.
we both just wanted our ex to see.

feed me your lies while i shove mine down your throat.
you text me you want me then get wrapped in another guys coat.
i gave you the world, i was amazing, so you said.
but then right after saying you want no none but me, we're both is someone elses bed.

"I've got to talk to you" became a common phrase i heard.
is it cheating if the feelings are fake? the emotion blurred?
how is this a rebound if the ball was never shot?
we were never over our ex, so not a single one of those lies were bought.

i wanna say i'm sorry.
for playing you knowing where home was.
but to be honest, you played me harder.
you're a hell of an actor, here's your applause.
#j
Dec 2015 · 712
perfectly imperfect
Inevitable Dec 2015
I'll never forget how good you were with words
how your tongue cut sharp and spit and dripped with poetic justice.
I read your lines and watch your lips while mine are blurred, they slip my grip

I can't stand your imperfection.
you're a perfectly imperfect person perpetually portraying beautiful pain.
or maybe that's mine in the reflection of your eyes.
our love was filled with beautiful lies.
endless nights both us cryin, tryin, lyin awake, inevitably dying..

but then again who am I to fake cause all those nights I called fate. more like lessons we make then take and we thought otherwise but I bet everyone could relate.  we weren't a mistake. leaving eachother was the only one we made
" I'm just writing "
Dec 2015 · 274
10w christmas
Inevitable Dec 2015
Christmas is in one week.
just praying I make it...
Dec 2015 · 603
evol
Inevitable Dec 2015
i may be a demon.
i honestly think we all are.

but its the person that exorcises you,
that shows you love and forces you to fall.
Nov 2014 · 553
sin for love
Inevitable Nov 2014
Even if I could go back to the beginning,
I wouldnt change the fact that we're sinning.
we're steady fighting,
Even when we're losing were winning.
Nov 2014 · 1.5k
anxiety attacked
Inevitable Nov 2014
ice bath through my veins.
my chest caves in.
wrists bound in chains.

the tears flow.
I can't speak.
no one knows.
barely on my feet..

Heat wave.
trembles.
I can't be saved.
suffocation.
helplessness.
to my head, I'm slaved.
if you ever wonder what it's like
Oct 2014 · 203
Untitled
Inevitable Oct 2014
I'm begging you to recognize the pain that Im in.
Oct 2014 · 1.4k
goodnight
Inevitable Oct 2014
that last kiss
that last text
that last look
I don't know
where to go
but right now
all I know is
you were wrong
this is right
save your words
save the fight
I'll leave it be
as for now
I'll close my eyes
and say goodnight.

you led me out of denial.
just writing
Oct 2014 · 762
dream away
Inevitable Oct 2014
I held her hand and she repeated after "I do".  I looked in her eyes and our lives started new. together as one.  our future ahead.  the children to come. to our happy ending, I led.

her hearts my home,
I awoke.
I wanna go back into a coma..
Jul 2014 · 8.8k
Gay is ok. Rewrite Religion
Inevitable Jul 2014
I got writers block somethin serious, like no other. But I'm ready to drown my feelings and put them down under. I just know I'm not letting my life get taken away from your conservative mother. Why can't she just take those beliefs and treat em like somethin to smother. I don't want you to leave and listen to her and go find yourself a brother. You are my calm, my rain, but all Im hearing is thunder.
Jul 2014 · 611
7/14/14
Inevitable Jul 2014
Her lips are intoxicating.
Her body is hypnotic.
The way she speaks alone is simply symbolic.
Her words are for strength and unending devotion.
She took my heart and claimed it all with one slight motion.

The arch of her mouth and the show of that smile,
that one last kiss led me out of denial.
She's the love of my world, that seemed to tragic.
you started this fire burning, with just one matchstick.
So flimsy and fragile, like the day we first met.
That one single strike, easily had our hearts lit.
May 2014 · 847
Bad Trip
Inevitable May 2014
Drugs are enticing and exciting
She did it for the thrill, they were so inviting.

Pill after pill needle after needle
As she lit another j, she became more feeble

She kept her door locked along with her lips.
She wouldn't tell anyone, reality started to slip.

Theres no need to worry she did it all the time. She had no cares in the world and snorted another line.

This time wasn't like the rest, she was soon to know, like the older addicts, she was the next to go.

No one was aware how her mental would dip. She wasn't aware this was her last ******* trip.
May 2014 · 298
10w heartbreak
Inevitable May 2014
decided to Trust fall as she took a step back.
May 2014 · 376
Show me a sign
Inevitable May 2014
God if you're out there
Could you show me a sign.
is there purpose to life.
cause I'm tired of tryin
It's hard to stand tall
When you're forced to fall..
Give me something ...
Something to fight for..
Open a few doors
Pick me up off this cold floor..

So god if your out there...
Just give me a sign.
Allow me to see
Cause I've been so blind.
What am I here for?
Let me show you more.
I'm sure I can be
What you made me believe,
Was perfect... Perfect and flawed.
May 2014 · 454
Those Three Words
Inevitable May 2014
I read the words and my heart dropped, to say the least. Not sure if it was because of what they meant or because they were said to me.
May 2014 · 307
Beautiful Pain
Inevitable May 2014
Love is happiness, pain and thoughts of suicide. It's when two innocent peoples hearts collide. Still so young and unknowing of what lie ahead. And clueless to every word that they've ever said.

Not knowing what those words can do. They can catch your heart.. But tear it apart too. They tend to categorize what love your in. But whatever you say it is, it all comes to an end.

Wether it's a lie, a cheat or a steal, it all ends to soon against any deal. You said it'd be forever and always, but you soon become strangers to pass in the walkways. You say that you're over them, and soon enough you will be, but you constantly think of them and you know you loved undoubtedly.

After your first love, you're terrified. You don't want it again but you know you both tried.  

I'd say just throw your heart back out there, but I know it's hard. There is someone out there, you just don't know who they are.
Old from notes
May 2014 · 389
Against the world..
Inevitable May 2014
Many miles seems pretty far. But I'd go the lengths of the world to be where you are.

Lost in your actions. And hypnotized by the moment. I could've stayed right there, as long as I could own it.

I'm high off of you.. I could easily just jump and take flight. Take my hand and we can run away.. Unless.. You do in fact.. Plan to stay..
"And with all the mistakes I've made, you're still listenin'"
May 2014 · 453
Requited likeness
Inevitable May 2014
You strum my heart in the most beautiful of ways. Like those sweet melodies you had sat and played. I felt my heart drop and the voices silenced. Yet all at the same times my feelings for you became requited.

That guitar sounded just about as beautiful as you looked that day.. I was lost in the music.. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't look away... I lost myself in you.
May 2014 · 985
Untold
Inevitable May 2014
The walls are caving in..
There's not much more I can Take.
The anxiety is taking over..
All these feelings I can't fake.
I like you a lot.. But I guess now it's too late.
I'll repeat that as my heart breaks
May 2014 · 290
Silent conversations
Inevitable May 2014
I told her I didn't know what to say..
She told me then I shouldn't say anything. We sat in complete silence ... But we said so much...

I listened to her heart break. I felt mine cry for help.
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