Inevitable: Poems

10w christmas

Inevitable Dec 2015

10w christmas

Christmas is in one week.
just praying I make it...

10w heartbreak

Inevitable May 2014

10w heartbreak

decided to Trust fall as she took a step back.

229

Inevitable Sep 2023

229

Two twenty nine times trampled tangled and left stranded.
Once a vision of guidance but now the angels are silent.
Karma has punished me so much its alarming.
Deja vu is a stranger and only visited with you.
I'm stuck in a hue of grey that i'm color blind to.
There is no in between yet there we were.
Love living in the dark.
A glimpse at the hand that once touched me and nothing more to show for what we had but these words.

Wrote 4/23/23; Revises 9/1/23 @ItsInevitable229

27 //TW

Inevitable Feb 2021

27 //TW

My life expectancy is 27

I will be 23 in April and with March approaching fast all i want to do is

stop

We make up 1% of the world population.
approximately 77 million of us among the 7.7 billion

We make up 10% of the worlds sucde rates.
approximately 80,000 out of 800,000 cases per year

I am also a woman meaning i am 3x more likely in general to attempt.

I was never supposed to make it past 11 and now i'm pushing for 27

no

i'm pushing for tomorrow because 27 is much farther away and its much more realistic to make it to tomorrow than to make it to 27.

Borderline personality disorder awareness

#bpd #death

29

Inevitable Jun 2016

29

You're my happiness and sadness
but lord knows you keep me planed.

For when you are near, I can see clear.
You're my clarity when standing in rain.

7/14/14

Inevitable Jul 2014

7/14/14

Her lips are intoxicating.
Her body is hypnotic.
The way she speaks alone is simply symbolic.
Her words are for strength and unending devotion.
She took my heart and claimed it all with one slight motion.

The arch of her mouth and the show of that smile,
that one last kiss led me out of denial.
She's the love of my world, that seemed to tragic.
you started this fire burning, with just one matchstick.
So flimsy and fragile, like the day we first met.
That one single strike, easily had our hearts lit.

#love #equality

9/13/14

Inevitable May 2016

9/13/14

If mortality were more based off morality than the way things happen practically; things and emotion wouldn't come forth dramatically, the good wouldn't die young and the bad would die drastically.

A Feeling

Inevitable Jan 1

A Feeling

Sparks through every nerve ending.
A drop in my stomach.
My heart crawls up my throat for air
and I'm choking up.
My eyes tear ever so slightly.
I start to throw up.
If anything, I'll settle for this.

Wrote 12/31/23 @ItsInevitable229

Against the world..

Inevitable May 2014

Against the world..

Many miles seems pretty far. But I'd go the lengths of the world to be where you are.

Lost in your actions. And hypnotized by the moment. I could've stayed right there, as long as I could own it.

I'm high off of you.. I could easily just jump and take flight. Take my hand and we can run away.. Unless.. You do in fact.. Plan to stay..

"And with all the mistakes I've made, you're still listenin'"

A Lifetime Without You

Inevitable Sep 2023

A Lifetime Without You

It's been 10 days since you walked this place.
I tell you the colors are a lot less vibrant now.
I tell you the burnt rubber sent clouds to
the exosphere just to reach you.
I tell you that we are all still waiting to wake up
and I tell you that I love you forevermore.
I can feel your arms around me in my weakest moments... like when the rain fell and
didn't wash this away.
Ever since your lungs took your last breath,
i've been desperately trying to breathe
life into your name.
We are beating on our chest just to
keep our hearts beating.
My eyes have been swollen shut yet I still knew the sun continued to rise and fall.
That hurts most of all.

Wrote 9/20/23 @ItsInevitable229

anxiety attacked

Inevitable Nov 2014

anxiety attacked

ice bath through my veins.
my chest caves in.
wrists bound in chains.

the tears flow.
I can't speak.
no one knows.
barely on my feet..

Heat wave.
trembles.
I can't be saved.
suffocation.
helplessness.
to my head, I'm slaved.

if you ever wonder what it's like

#pain #anxiety

Backroads Through Brandywine

Inevitable Nov 2023

Backroads Through Brandywine

The muddy water courses through our veins.
Exhaust fumes fill the air with each exhale you let out and I grew to love that smell,
even more so now.
Tearing up the yard and making sparks through the night, the roar of an engine echoing through the daylight, always knowing where
you were going...
We walked and rode miles upon hours, swam in the muckiest of waters and
counted stars more nights than not.
The **** smoke floating through the car and the sunroof open with music louder than the thoughts we were always running from,
and boy, lord knows we were always
running from something.
If the police couldn't stop us, bullets couldn't hit us, not a fight we couldn't win,
who would ever tell us to live differently?
If there was ever a time I lived,
it was the hours I spent with you.
Sitting in silence, backing up even the most wrong choices but thats what brothers do.
Every move I take and breath I breathe will forever be in the name of you.
LLAJTHAKIDD

Wrote 11/29/23 @ItsInevitable229

Back to December - Taylor's Version

Inevitable Jul 2023

Back to December - Taylor's Version

Our connection is cosmically at will.
I see your shadow in the most specific places.
Hidden in my playlists and the loss of yours.
To IO and back. It never ends.
Like Saturn losing its rings, I guess it's inevitable?
Like a flame, it'll burn. and god does it burn.
Centralia still hasn't stopped,
and neither have I.
The rain falls when spoken of. Down my cheeks.
I have one video with just a taste of your voice and it's all I have left. I see your hand in view and have to see it now in someone elses..
youre a star,
even if not mine.
but you know as well as I do.
You're exceptional.
Superhuman.
My whole heart.

for me there will never be another. no one comes close. and I guess I have to live with that?

Back to December - Taylors Version

Inevitable Aug 2023

Back to December - Taylors Version

How’s life? I miss you dearly.
The colds coming but i’ve been in December all summer
and I haven’t been sleeping, been more like day dreaming.
Your birthday passes and I always go to call.
I see your shadows in the most specific places.
You’re hidden in my playlists and the loss of yours.
I look for you in the night skies.
Out to IO and back.
Cosmically at will.
I miss your tan skin, you’re sweet smile,
So good to me, so right.
Yet I still packed my things and left that night.
If we loved again I swear id love you right.
Like Saturn losing its rings I guess its inevitable
But as a flame, it burns and I just can’t take my hand away.

Wrote 7/14/2023; Revised 8/6/2023 @ItsInevitable229

Bad trip

Inevitable Jan 2022

Bad trip

Drugs are enticing and exciting.
She did it for the thrill, they were so inviting.

Pill after pill, needle after needle,
As she lit another j, she became more feeble.

She kept her door locked along with her lips.
She wouldn't tell anyone how reality would slip.

Theres no need to worry she did it all the time.
She had no cares in the world and snorted another line.

This time wasn't like the rest, she was soon to know, like the older addicts, she was the next to go.

No one was aware how her mental would dip.
She wasn't aware this was her last ******* trip.

Wrote 9/12/14 @ItsInevitable229

Beautiful Pain

Inevitable May 2014

Beautiful Pain

Love is happiness, pain and thoughts of suicide. It's when two innocent peoples hearts collide. Still so young and unknowing of what lie ahead. And clueless to every word that they've ever said.

Not knowing what those words can do. They can catch your heart.. But tear it apart too. They tend to categorize what love your in. But whatever you say it is, it all comes to an end.

Wether it's a lie, a cheat or a steal, it all ends to soon against any deal. You said it'd be forever and always, but you soon become strangers to pass in the walkways. You say that you're over them, and soon enough you will be, but you constantly think of them and you know you loved undoubtedly.

After your first love, you're terrified. You don't want it again but you know you both tried.

I'd say just throw your heart back out there, but I know it's hard. There is someone out there, you just don't know who they are.

Old from notes

Believe

Inevitable Mar 18

Believe

I believe in some things
like happiness, true love, peace
but its always been just out of reach.
I've run into snakes and leech after leech
but its nothing thats ever defeated me.
I've been lost at sea,
in holes too deep to see,
not been able to breathe
but these blessings I receive daily
has been the energy that gives belief of a maybe.
I'm a presence you don't realize until I leave.
I believe in my reprieve. I repent.
I'm heaven sent
to a society in which I do not blend,
I transcend.
Touch lives and survive.
I don't say whats not meant.
I believe in something bigger than me
and I believe in destiny.
I don't not fear the inevitable.
It's what makes me,
it's what breaks me
and it's what will take me.
I'm here left standing when I was created to fall.
It's nothing more than what it's meant to be.
This world was made for me.
The disasters perpetually creating prophecy.
Despite the darkness that I called home,
I still believe in a light that will brighten my nights,
I believe in a creator that makes more than a fight.

Wrote 3/18/24 @ItsInevitable229

Bella Noche (ANNABEL LEE)

Inevitable Dec 2023

Bella Noche (ANNABEL LEE)

Slick hands and locked lips let my love slip into the sea away from me and into her lovers beam.
Desperately wading through waters in
depths you cannot see.
She lived with no other thought than to love
and be loved by me. My Bella Noche.

We loved with a love that was more than a love
The kind that cracks spines of novels,
folds the pages with annotations
over our favorite parts
But our love was not as long.
And if as long, a tragedy.
The Shakespearean kind.
Although dark, beautiful. Bella Noche.

Neither the angels in Heaven above nor the demons down under the sea can ever dissever my soul from the soul of the
Bella Noche, my dream.
Passion lit with the brightest flame,
smoldering over all these wasted years.
I look to the stars and there you are
My Bella Noche, my dear.

The moon never beams without
bringing me dreams.
Always fleeting, forever gleaming,
smile beaming through her voice,
every picture I record,
You live there forever more,
my Bella Noche, my Lenore.

Wrote 12/11/23 @ItsInevitable
Quotes from Edgar Allan Poe "ANNABEL LEE" 1849

Campfire

Inevitable Sep 2023

Campfire

The smell of a campfire is stuck to the humid air.
I inhale smoke just as thick as the smell
and when I close my eyes,
you're sitting right there with me.
We're around a campfire with good company, smiling faces and dinner on the coals.
I can smell the roast.
If only I was cycling through memories instead of dreams i'd be a bit less bitter.
oh.. what we could've done with more time.
My eyes are closed and i'm sitting in front of the home I dreamed we would build
and its burning
and i'm going down with it.

Wrote 7/28/22; Revised 9/1/23 @ItsInevitable229

Clouded Emotion

Inevitable Apr 2014

Clouded Emotion

There's a desire for those to feel your pain. To see if their action are matched, to prove you're sane. Or there otherwise to show you're wrong.. Instead of throwing someone else under the bus, it ends up being where you belong. Share your story, let it be known. Actions speak louder than words so let them be shown. Silence itself can say so much on it's own.. Your heart speaks out, but let it speak slow.

Old from notes

Contact High

Inevitable Jan 2021

Contact High

lovely flowers rooted in my lungs.
medicated exhales clouding the air around us.
i just want you in my space.

#420

Daisies

Inevitable Feb 7

Daisies

I didn't know you until she spoke your name.
Now I could never see you without knowing.
I used to think what pretty flowers
but now I'll always know.
I call you out by name.

Wrote 2/7/24 @ItsInevitable229

Dating

Inevitable Jan 2022

Dating

Ive got these women deleting the apps we met on because they think i'm the one.

I'm not satisfied.

How could I be when i'm cosmically meant for you?

Dear No One

Inevitable Aug 2023

Dear No One

I put the ball point to my paper again.
Page tore when met with tear soaked blotches.
The work flows best when in distress.
I couldnt tell you what ive done all these years, but I know they were tortured and wasted.
I haven't heard my voice in days
but I finally picked up the pen.
Even if its the same variety of words telling the same story i've told before
I'll be back in my notes; it's inevitable.
Im seeing the pattern and it hurts but
its predictable and for some reason that feels better.
Even if no one was listening or reading, at least I said something.

Wrote 8/21/2023 @ItsInevitable229

Devoted Words

Inevitable May 2014

Devoted Words

All my words come from reason. If not for you, they're for me, they give me something to believe in.

Diary Entry 1

Inevitable Feb 13

Diary Entry 1

I have painted in you light
that only exists to brighten the day,
the light that grows saplings,
that creates vitamin D.
See, the way in which I speak of you is to the heights of heaven as if describing god herself.
I ***** adoration of a being so celestial that I can no longer reach out and touch the face
that gives hope of salvation.
So I pray. To a god, to a savior,
to anyone who might listen,
that will take notes on every word I've made up to describe the retching love in which
I yearn for for lifetimes.
You are the reason I believe in love,
but the reason I also think
I will not find if not in you.

Wrote 2/13/24 @ItsInevitable229

Dream

Inevitable May 2014

Dream

Live the life I lust for. I'll live vicariously through you.

dream away

Inevitable Oct 2014

dream away

I held her hand and she repeated after "I do". I looked in her eyes and our lives started new. together as one. our future ahead. the children to come. to our happy ending, I led.

her hearts my home,
I awoke.
I wanna go back into a coma..

#love #heartbreak #dream

Dream Chronicles

Inevitable Nov 2023

Dream Chronicles

You've always seemed elusive,
but I know its always been me who had ran.
You're more so private
and I don't like it cause
I'm always just begging for a glance.
I have often sat and wondered why you never visited my dreams and remained a living one,
but you showed face last night and I swear we were actually there.

You took my hand and led me to my kitchen where you kissed me and still
managed to leave with her in tow.
It felt like that phone call again where you called and told me you loved me and that there could never be another me but you still choose her and
I haven't acted accordingly.

I dont pray on a downfall.
I want you to know that to be true.
I also know youd never leave unprovoked
cause thats just not what you do.
You're the ride or die. Kiss at every red light.
Soft glow. The peace of the night.

This bright blue butterfly flew into the room, landed on me just long enough for me
to admire it, and then it pierced me
through my ribs and into my heart.
I screamed in pain, gripped its body and
pulled as hard as I could.
A foot of string tore from inside my body, bringing out sludge that coated my hands
and weakened my grip.
In the fight of it all, I saw the look on your face
and it looked pained.
Through the agony I pulled every foot of thread from my body, placed this beautiful pain outside the door and watched it fly away.
Then you came through the door and drove away without a goodbye..
Could you tell me if you didn't because it wasn't?

Wrote 11/26/23 @ItsInevitable229

Dreams And Nightmares

Inevitable Oct 2023

Dreams And Nightmares

If you asked me 5 years ago what I wanted in life, I'd tell you it's exactly what I have now.

I woke up one day and had nothing but everything I ever dreamed and hoped for at the same time.

I realized that no matter what I had in the material, it meant nothing if I had no one to share it with. There was no one there to see me come out the other side of this fight so it felt like I never did.

Now I am left with a graveyard of friends and lovers that I had lost along the way.
Those that I still lay flowers at and those that I speak of through clenched teeth.
Their names just taste a little bitter
and maybe I am too.
Bitter that you didn't see the vision or believe that id make anything more of my broken pieces
when I always carried yours through storms and watered your every thought
and god, I really tried to bring you with me.

I have all this land.
A foundation.
Built around tombstones of the past.
No one within 200 miles
but ghosts
and I struggle to say "I'm home".

Wrote 10/8/23 @ItsInevitable229

Ecstasy

Inevitable Oct 2016

Ecstasy

Wrapped around her finger
Metaphorically and physically
The way she looks in my eyes
Heavy breaths exhaling desire
Light reflects off the sweat on our skin
I take a hit off your hips
Inhale your passion
Trace your curves with the tips of my lips
Grip your throat delaying your breaths
A sudden gasp as I explore your love

Follow me into ecstasy

#love #gay #lgbt #erotica

evol

Inevitable Dec 2015

evol

i may be a demon.
i honestly think we all are.

but its the person that exorcises you,
that shows you love and forces you to fall.

Falling Back Into Me

Inevitable Nov 2023

Falling Back Into Me

The pitter patter of birds feet in the
fallen leaves and trees sounds like
the rhythm of a rain falling at ease.
I used to beg for a drizzle just for some peace,
but now I come and go as I please
into this forest of what I used to call my dream.

Wrote 11/16/23 @ItsInevitable229

Falling In Like

Inevitable Dec 2023

Falling In Like

Falling in like is walking on sea glass.
Its the beauty of the walk
but also the risk.
Tossing pieces ahead of us and seeing what fits while avoiding and not always missing the
sharp edges and ... bleeding.
Falling in like is showing up at their door naked and unannounced before your first date.
Falling in like is holding up every wall while they unknowingly play Jenga with them.
It's trying to pick up the pieces but also having the idea of just leaving them there...
but still picking them up.
Falling in like is a relapse
and i'm losing all my chips.

Wrote 12/10/23 @ItsInevitable229

For the love of a Leo

Inevitable Jan 2022

For the love of a Leo

These wax wings stood no chance against your rays,
I was warned, I know, but what's more tempting than safety

or perceived safety.

Like Icarus I fell from the sky into the waters and met a cancer,
now i'm drowning cause I can't swim.

id rather be a star gazing
but that's what got me here in the first place.

For The Love Of A Leo

Inevitable Aug 2023

For The Love Of A Leo

These wax wings stood no chance against your rays; I was warned, I know, but what's more tempting than safety

or perceived safety.

Like Icarus I fell from the sky into the waters and met a cancer; now i'm drowning cause I can't swim.

i'd rather be star gazing
but that's what got me here in the first place.

Wrote 1/14/22 @ItsInevitable229

For The Love Of A Poet

Inevitable Feb 15

For The Love Of A Poet

I'll never forget how good she was with words.
How her tongue cut sharp and spit and
dripped with poetic justice.
I read her lines and watched her lips
while mine were blurred and she slipped my grip.

I cant stand our imperfection.
Shes a perfectly perfect person
perpetually portraying pain...
or maybe thats mine in the reflection of her eyes.
Our love was filled with nights up trying, lying awake, inevitably dying.
but who am I to fake cause all those nights I called fate were more like lessons we make and take and we thought otherwise but I bet most could relate.
We weren't a mistake, leaving each other was the only one we made.

Free

Inevitable Feb 4

Free

My delusions are the poetic illusion of destiny
and the art of never knowing for sure
until its manifested.
I will brave through the anxieties and
out of my comfort zone in an attempt to
free myself from the shackles that have held me
in place for 25 years.
My face has been illusive, painted smile or silence to mask the screams yet
i've made it.
The smile on me is real now and my eyes gleam with happiness and I have never felt more free.

Wrote 2/4/24 @ItsInevitable229

Gay is ok. Rewrite Religion

Inevitable Jul 2014

Gay is ok. Rewrite Religion

I got writers block somethin serious, like no other. But I'm ready to drown my feelings and put them down under. I just know I'm not letting my life get taken away from your conservative mother. Why can't she just take those beliefs and treat em like somethin to smother. I don't want you to leave and listen to her and go find yourself a brother. You are my calm, my rain, but all Im hearing is thunder.

#love #heartbreak #life #hate #pain #gay #you #struggle

goodnight

Inevitable Oct 2014

goodnight

that last kiss
that last text
that last look
I don't know
where to go
but right now
all I know is
you were wrong
this is right
save your words
save the fight
I'll leave it be
as for now
I'll close my eyes
and say goodnight.

you led me out of denial.

just writing

#touching #simple

Hatred

Inevitable May 2014

Hatred

You're
just
a
sorry
***
excuse
for
a
human
being

#10w

Healing

Inevitable Dec 2020

Healing

You must've felt our tie break because you called right away. You tried to stick your hand back in the wound and found out it had already scarred over.

Hello poetry

Inevitable Dec 2021

Hello poetry

this app needs serious bug issues fixed with logging in and in the write screen. the single and double star options to edit your text don't work properly and there's still avid writers on this app, lets get it together. what can we do to help?

Her flower

Inevitable May 2016

Her flower

Hands trickle down your naked body like a soft morning mist.
Spreading your legs to expose your beauty.
Petals of your beautiful rose shine and welcome me.
Lookin deep into your eyes straight into your heart.
My tongue caresses your flower, sipping from your fountain.
Your body moves gracefully in pleasure.
Placing my hands on your hips to grip and lick...
Feeling you grip my tongue involuntarily as you climb to the point of ecstasy.
Gaining speed, grabbing on tighter.
Your body trembles wrapping your love in mine
expressing mine physically
Connected mentally
Her rain falls down ... Not a drop hits the sheets

#love #*** #woman #lgbt

homeward bound

Inevitable Jan 2016

homeward bound

she never read my poetry. matter of fact she never gave a **** about anything that did to me.
she never tried to learn me, every chance she had she was intentionally trying to burn me.
I started thinking about a quote I once heard.
you accept the love you think you deserve.
when in reality no one deserves less than the world.
I was killing myself mentally, making myself go through hell with this girl.
knowing she wasn't anything, literally, wanting to go back home, critically, missing home, physically, speaking out my *** potentially ruining any chance I had of coming back home.
I was home sick but I was sick of home.
my mind made up a whole story of it own,
made me hate her for doing things for reasons she didn't, saying things she wouldn't, hurting me on purpose..
she hurt me on purpose, but we both had guns. I pulled my trigger first and they both turned automatic.
rapid fire shots sending head shots every round.
yet we were still standing,
fighting for the one thing we knew that wasn't dead.
white flags waving we realized we were fighting for the same thing.
fighting to come back home.
for my home was her, as her home was me.

italicized home, her, and she are a different person than the "she" referred to in the beginging

#story

Hospital Walls

Inevitable Jan 2021

Hospital Walls

.shhh.....
I should still be behind them.

How Am I?

Inevitable May 2014

How Am I?

How is she?

how are we?*

What about me? Dead.

#10w

I don't have a type

Inevitable Feb 2021

I don't have a type

I say I don't have a type
but you fit mine so perfectly.
dark and twisty.
a little too familiar.

If you were the moon

Inevitable Feb 2021

If you were the moon

If you were the moon, i think you'd still pull the tide.

Actually, I feel like you'd push and pull, **** around and create a tsunami.

If you were the moon, i think you'd still light up my nights.

Actually, I feel like you'd come crashing through my sky as a meteor.

If you were the moon, i think you'd still reflect the suns rays.

Actually, i feel like you'd have to admit it hurt; the rays.

But if you were the moon, i think you would burn.

Actually you'd have to admit you're the sun that
still rises in the east to put me to rest.

The relationship between "star" and "moon".

#love #lgbt

If You Were The Moon

Inevitable Aug 2023

If You Were The Moon

If you were the moon, I think you'd still pull the tide.

The ones that start tsunamis.

If you were the moon, i think you'd still light up my nights.

Only with the help of the sun.

If you were the moon, you would have loved for you with desire.

The kind that keeps the fire lit.

But if you were the moon, i think it would burn.

The sun that you chase and will never meet,
still rises in the east and puts you to rest.

Wrote 1/14/22; Revised 8/30/23 @ItsInevitable229