Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Nobody Nov 2024
it's gotten to the point
where nothing matters
the only reason I keep going
is because I know
there are barely any
but at least some
people that would care
if I just disappeared
They might be the only people that would notice...
Haha
Nobody Nov 2024
Morning of election results
Mourning of election results
A dream of freedom lost on the air.
A hope for a president who will actually care.

Danger is coming
Nobody Nov 2024
every notification on my phone
telling me something is going wrong
another corrupted plan succeeding
another million people gone...

every news story in the morning
telling me I'm going to die
another failed hope
another savior plan gone awry...

every word out of your mouth
telling me I'm a worthless *******
it was so long ago
but the forest fire is still lit...

every word of yours i remember
keeps repeating in my head
telling me i'm useless
and that i'd be better off dead...
...
Nobody Nov 2024
i want to live
not just survive
going through a depressive episode right now :)
Nobody Nov 2024
i don't hate you
i just sometimes wish
that we never met
Nobody Nov 2024
so many times
i thought i was happy
turns out
it's just when you weren't around
Nobody Nov 2024
you want to know what it's like inside my brain?
it's like burning in hell but with 10x the pain.
it's like swimming in a pool with nowhere to breathe
it's like all the cuts on my arm,
covered by a sleeve.
it's like being trapped in a closet
with no way out
it's like being deathly thirsty
but you're stuck in a drought.
it's like being in an escape room
with a forever stuck lock
it's like sitting in an empty room
waiting for a knock.
now you know what it's like inside my head
so now you know why i want to be dead~
Nobody Nov 2024
Today
I was sitting at the dinner table
Behind a baked potato
Scared
Uncomfortable
Anxious
While my parents kept watching me
I sat there
While my brother
And my sister
Ate with no problem
No second thought
**** i wish i could be like that.
When everyone else got up
My mom looked at me
And said out loud
"can you just eat it? Its not that hard."
The dumb thing is
She thinks shes my savior
But she makes me feel like I belong in an asylum
Everyone was looking at me
Judging
While tears slowly fall
From my blurry eyes
The thing is
She doesnt even understand
She thinks i dont want to eat
But I can't
I can't
I can't
I can't
I can't
I can't
"I cant."
I mouthed
Silently
And she said
"Yes you can! Youre just being dramatic."
No, not said.
Exclaimed
She told me to take a few bites
I did
And I got up and walked away
And set my 1/10 empty plate
Next to the sink.
I went downstairs.
She yelled down the stairs
"deadname, get up here. You need to eat more food."
I ate some more.
And then I went back down
To sit with the guilt
I know shes trying to help
But please dont tell me to try to be grateful
Because she is just making things worse
My therapist agreed
The hospital agreed
So now
I will sit
And cry
I'm my room
Try to avoid getting blood stains on my sheets
Try to hide my tool
Try to get better
Because I do want to
But these people dont ******* understand.
And they need to stop pretending that they do.
Nobody Nov 2024
you should never trust someone who isn't trustworthy
i know it seems obvious
but some people keep giving them second chances

some people never change
Nobody Nov 2024
Its just a dream
Ive always been dreaming
I have to wake up

Its all an illusion
It always has been
I have to wake up

They arent real
They never have been
I need to wake up

This is all in my head
I dont remember anything
I dont think i ever have
I need to wake up

My hands are shaking
They always are
I need to wake up
I need to wake up
Its all fake
... i need to wake up
Nobody Mar 18
we
          are
not
         the
same


        and i hope
we never are.

       you
worthless
     hopeless
undeserving
      awful
monster.

we
          are
not
         the
same.
Nobody Nov 2024
I never think of life
As a wet on dry watercolor painting
Because its more similar
To wet on wet
You put a dash of color
Joy
Emotion
And it spreads
Like a virus
But a good one
Life isnt realism.
Life is abstract.
So treat it like that.
Imperfect
But in the end?
Beautiful.
Nobody Dec 2024
The water warm
The sea creatures choking
On the weight of our mistakes

The air hot and humid
The birds falling,
Unable to go on.

The land littered with plastic
The animals tumbling
On the debri we've left behind

What has earth become?
A place of scars.
Not a place
That hasn't been hurt by us.
What have we done?
Nobody Jan 12
tubes in my veins
taking my blood
surrounded by doctors
asking me questions

no privacy
every door is open
nothing to support
my addictions

eyes everywhere
watching my every move
telling me
what i can & can't do

being forced to eat
when i can't.
"if you gain any more weight, they will just start bullying you again,",
the voices in my head say.

i want to get out
i'm scratching at the walls
slamming doors
screaming

this isn't helping
it's making me feel worse
i can't ******* eat
why can't they ******* understand?!

i just want to go home
i want to see my friends
i want to be in the school play again
i just want to go home

let me go home
this isn't helping
they make me feel ******* insane
...
what if i am?
i wont be posting much more, but sometimes when they aren't looking at my computer :)
Nobody Nov 2024
The blade on my desk sings an alluring melody
Tempting me to cut
Telling me that I deserve it
I'm happy… anything but.

I try to ignore
Against the wall i lean
I try to hope
I try to dream

But the song draws me closer
Telling me to cut deep
Telling me that if I do
It'll help me sleep

The avoidance fails.
Blood falls to the floor
Staining the carpet
I close the door.

Silent tears
Hopeless dreams
A ruined life
ripped at the seams

Tears fall to the cuts
It stings.
Is it weird that I like it?
Is it weird the happiness it brings?

When I finish
I cover it with a sleeve.
A future Scar
That I know will never leave.

I didn't Want to.
It was an accident.
A beautiful accident.
A painful accident.
Not an accident.

Help me.
...
Nobody Nov 2024
when in rome
you do as the romans do.
when in school
you do as the students do.
when in hell
you do as the devils do.
you treat everyone like ****

when at home
you do as the residents do
when in life
you do as the livings do
when in heaven
you do as the angels do
you discriminate good from bad
when there really is no line
Nobody Nov 2024
Where can I go
Anywhere but here
Anywhere but here would be safer
Anywhere but here would be better
Where will I go
Somewhere i can meet new people
Somewhere i can hide
Somewhere i can have new experiences
With you by my side
Somewhere...
Anywhere...
Would be better than here.
:(
Why
Nobody Dec 2024
Why
Why
Why can't I be friends with someone
Without people assuming i have a crush
welp THIS JUST IN, MONTHS LATER THE PERSON I LOWK WROTE THIS ABOUT... I HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM NOW *****
Nobody Dec 2024
the cold air bites my cheeks and ears
                              but it's summer
the snow is freezing to my skin
                              but it's summer
i slip on the ice
                              but it's summer
the sun is nowhere to be seen
                              but it's summer
nobody is outside
                              but it's summer
i'm so cold
                              but it's summer
you left me to freeze in the snow
                              but it's summer
but...
it's summer
Nobody Dec 2024
Me
Without you

Is like the moon
Without the night

The fish
Without the ocean

The sun
Without the sky

Tom
Without jerry

Peanut butter
Without jelly

Don't leave, please
Nobody Nov 2024
i'm worried
because my best friend keeps trying
trying to **** herself
and i don't know what i'll do
if one more ******* awful thing happens in my life
maybe she and i will meet each other in another life
i don't know
i was never religious
so maybe we'll just be alone
unconcious
forever
i hope she knows i'm worried about her
Nobody Nov 2024
hard
to talk
about

yet
hard
to avoid

haha
that's me

everybody
hates him
nobody cares

everybody
wants to
shove him down the stairs

haha.
that's me.
you
Nobody Mar 6
you
you left me
feeling sorrow
telling them
"he'll forget about it tommorow."

your hugs were empty
no love, or care
and then i knew
my feelings you couldn't spare.

because you don't love me
you never did
why would you do this
we're just kids

you saw it as fun
while you dragged the knife
painfully across my skin
and slowly took my life

but somehow i still miss you
so much about you
i miss your empty hugs
you weightless compliments
i miss the way
i cared so much about you
even though i knew
you never cared at all.
still working on letting go.
Nobody Jun 2
you noticed that his room was becoming messy.
"lazy."
you noticed that he had stopped showering.
"disgusting."
you noticed that he had started talking less.
"he's just going through a phase."

but you never noticed how his short sleeves turned into baggy hoodies.
you never noticed that he had stopped eating.
you never noticed that the happy little boy you used to have was leaving.

you never noticed it was getting bad
until it was almost too late
some things i wish i could say to my parents. i dont know how i feel. i want to say sorry but i want to scream at them because they never even noticed.
Nobody Apr 16
i have three categories of people
alive
dead
and dead to me

you, sir,
can get the **** out of my life

— The End —