I can hear the school parade
I can hear the football being played
The Cheers and joy
The announcer
Filling my ears
Void

It's a strange feeling
You know
To hear something fun
And feel so
Cold

Deep in my soul
It's something
I'll never know
It's haunting
It's daunting

I want to know
The sweet bliss
Perhaps the secret
Romance
I was never given
A chance
Never more than a
Simple glance
Of a life

I had pain
I had restrains
I was detained
And remained
To feel shame
Touched
And abused
Cursed
And used
Never finding
The truth
Only searching for
Hidden clues
Trapped in a tower
Forever waiting
On the hour

Waiting for what?
My life to change
Waiting for who?
Someone who could
Remain
With me
Free me from chains
Take away my Shame
Never give me an ounce
Of blame

It never came
Nobody comes
When you're crying
Alone
Nobody comes
When you want to leave
The devil's throne
Nobody
Nobody
There was
Nobody
For me
Nobody
With me
Nobody
To help
Me

Cut the poetry
To state it simply
I wanted
What I desired
So evilly
Was to be a kid
To have a childhood
To be loved
And understood
To feel safe
And never hurt
To be hugged
And loved for my worth
To never be touched
My any man
Who's simply
"Misunderstood"

I wanted
Something everyone
Deserves
I wanted a love
With all the words
I wanted to be free
From my broken
World
I wanted
To never have to
Curl and cry
And wish
To die

I wanted
To stop asking
And praying
Why?
I wanted
My parents to love me
And give me life
Instead they gave me
A knife
And led me to believe
It was life

I wanted to be comforted
And told it's okay
I wanted to be told I wasn't
To blame
I wanted a sister
Who would stand by me
I wanted not to be told
I'm just too whiny

I wanted to feel alive
And laugh and cry
Without being
Blinded
I want to rewind
And tell that little girl
It's not a ******* crime
To ask for a dime
Of love
And a gentle reaffirming hug
From someone you looked
Up To

What's the use?
I wanted the whole world
I wanted to be Cinderella
And run away from my parents
To discover the stars
To dance on Mars
To show the whole universe
And more
What it means to love
What it means to give
And cherish
Never knowing a day of
Perish
I would have been so alive
I would have never wished
To die
Never asking why
Can't I be in the sky
Away from everything
Alone and a ghost
Because being here
Is living in unrelenting
Fear

I just wanted
To simply
Never be hurt
I wanted to be a child
Who knew what it meant
To *******
Smile

i am not the love of your life,
and so it seems
you are not the prince
to blithe charmings

i am the black cat
spawned from the fog
clawed you into the distorted,
into the black dog