A long day
Bruised sides
Ribs visibly shifted
Chest swollen
Stabbing heart pain
But it's all worth it
Because someone saw me
As I am.
A man.

Mom says that I'm a pretty girl in need to be dressed up in dresses.
That I should like pretty pink princesses.
But I only sink more and more into the depressants.

Every time I do, the person leaves my life.

That’s why I’m terrified to tell you.

I know you’re accepting but I’m still scared to death.

What if my mom finds out?

What if you tell other people?

What if you leave my life too?

I just want to have a supportive community around me but it’s difficult when no one is.

I want you to know.

I need you to know.

But my mom is right there.

And I don’t know how to tell you.

Why am I so scared to just be myself?

Please help me to understand.

I'm not a girl
You can't make me be her
I'm not
I swear
Just listen for once
But according to "god"
I do not exist
Not in this form
This shape
These eyes or these lips
My hands are "feminine"
My chest has *******
My feet are small
And these are what makes me a her
According to them

My hips too wide
Missing the right genitalia
"There are only two genders
Lawn mower and dishwasher"
I'm sick of your jokes
"And I'm an Apache helicopter
That's my gender, it's true
I'm a helicopter, and you're a man too"
I see the way you look at me
Obviously expecting a reaction
I go to my room
And lock myself in

I learned
to plant the seeds
of happiness.
There are flowers
blooming
where the scars
used to be.

R.M.

I yearn for the days
when I could pull poetry
from my brain
like a string of pearls,
shimmering opal,
so beautiful to all.

Where    have    my    pearls    gone?