Elo: Favorites

3d Elo

Toothache

I’m rocking back and forth against the hull of my loneliness,
Stuck in knowing it’s goodbye
But not being able to say I love you
or I’m sorry.
I’m crying with joy and longing as I lie in the love and conversation around me,
Wishing it were mine.
I’ve been high so long my heart rate stopped going down with the sun.
Going over it all all over again all the time.
I feel like a child again, terrified by the the dark, the wind, the eyes of men.
I’m breaking down in the line at the gas station.
Looking out the glass wall at a Lovecraftian highway,
Flickering florescent lights like the ones from The Exorcist.
On my way to a cavernous husk of a family dinner,
Most of them gone now.
Just me, my mother, and my widowed, bereaved, great aunt.
There’s a stupid old cardboard cutout of a mascot next to me grinning too widely, holding up its product.
I scream and tear it’s head off it’s body
In my mind.
I have work on Monday.
This is life.

#young #afraid #restless #tired #horror #mundane #grief #autism #lol

3d Elo

Waiting for Godot

3d Elo

Toothache

Waiting for Godot

We spent at least 15 minutes in the parking lot,
Everyday.
Itching in the grass and making up arguments.
Waiting for my mom to pick me up from your house after school,
Spraying mist out the water hose at each other and into the sky.
Over invested in card games and extra-murals.
Got locked out of your club penguin account.
I lied to my mom about the pickup time,
So we could play pool a bit longer.
All that nothing might have been everything.
Wait for the bus with me sometime again.

#childhood #adolescence #nostalgia #friendship #absurd #waiting #godot #missing #longing

3d Elo

53 4f 53

3d Elo

Toothache

53 4f 53

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48 65 79 20 6c 6f 6f 6b 20 61 20 70 6f 65 6d 20 69 6e 20 68 65 78 20 68 6f 77 20 63 72 61 7a 7a 79

#what #mystery #code #curse #death #mountain #sad #nature

3d Elo

Death

3d Elo

Eleanor Sinclair

Death

I met a friend today
His name was Death
He smiled big with pure white teeth
And minty fresh breath
I asked him what he did for a living
Staring blankly at me, batting his eyelashes
He did the opposite of giving
What did that mean?
But the closer I got to Death
The better I understood his scheme
In his sharp black suit he won me over
I felt an irresistible draw
Like to a diamond in the rough, or a four leaf clover
He convinced me of the beauty in the night
That when the moon was hidden from view
There was nothing better than the lack of light
He led me from my lust for life
Sang to me in my sleep
Whispered sweet nothings and handed me the knife
I tried to pull away from my newly found friend
But his choke hold was so tight
On him I started to depend
The world could see me deteriorate into nothing
He held me harder and closer
With shortness of breath I stood huffing and puffing
Enclosed in the lackluster of our friendship I became numb
The emotions drifted with my vitality
I tried to retrieve them but could only attain 1/5th of my former sum
The more time you spend with a person
The more you become like them
I suppose I couldn't see the situation worsen
Collar around my neck he leashed me like a dog
I cared so deeply for him
My haze filled mind ignored the dense fog
I came to terms with my life long trap
Death circled like a satellite around my position
No matter where I went he found my place on the map
Eventually I succame to this fate
Despite his control
Death, I could not hate
I loved him too dearly to notice the signs
I couldn't think clearly
His presence was odious and it wasn't benign

#death

Apr 21 Elo

Vortex of Misery

Apr 21 Elo

Mya

Vortex of Misery

If my rage were the weather
You'd never see a day of sun again
Trapped forever in a damp darkness
Of frigid wind and acid rain

Apr 13 Elo

People like me don't speak much

Apr 13 Elo

Mary Huxley

People like me don't speak much

People like me
don’t speak much—
we read silence
like it’s scripture,
watching the way shadows fall
on people’s faces
when truth gets too loud.

I learned early
that softness
gets mistaken
for weakness,
and honesty
for cruelty.

So I became
a quiet kind of storm—
rage in my ribs,
kindness in my palms,
resentment
sitting neatly behind my teeth.

Some days I’m tired
of pretending I don’t feel it all.
Of swallowing the world
just to keep peace
with people who
would never carry
a piece of me.

But I still stay quiet.
Because people like me
don’t speak much.
We bleed in poems.

Mar 31 Elo

Ex nihilo

Mar 31 Elo

Dom

Ex nihilo

Without notice cognition starts
As a spark where the black and yellow remark
Aurelian dreams become neon streams
Pink and blue bubblegum retreat
Where memory recedes and recess recalls
The times we repeat, but love is the new,
A big bang like a bullet wound,
Bleed like a volcanic eruption-
The lava of adrenaline rushing through endorphins
Course through a crash of shallow breath
Addicted to the oxytocin landlocked in my serotonin
I could see the sculpture maker creating a savior
In the way, the mold breaks when he made you.

Without warning
She falls from Olympus
Aphrodite, telos of beauty
Epitome of lust and luster
In her extra ****** olive tones
As eyes hone to affix to my jade ocular
I am lost in the vision of her palingenesis
Into every curve my nimble fingers trace
Along the marbled skin of those descendent
It strikes me in breathtaking seizure-induced ecstasy-
******* in the clarity of cosmos in clemency
I worship endlessly without question.

As the stars affix ‘cross the heavens
And all that is dead is depth in enlightenment
Caught in a chrysalis to metamorphosis
What would become of you, if you could be reborn?
We twist in a helix DNA to a sequence
In callbacks for you to reveal its secrets in Morse code
Encrypted all over the bedside, my love transcends the fabric.
And in the genesis of what is
Comes forth like a violent storm
We crash like thunder while the lightning strikes
I am burned by the static, manic, in panic
As I wake without a warning cognition fully forming
As the universe expands you and I in the expanse
Tethered into the ether in ethos, lost inside your mythos
It all begins again.

#love #spiritual #conceptual #genesis #mythos #cosmos #freeverse