I get the chills as your hand touches my waist,
Looking at your lips, I just want a taste

After all those confusing months
Of your back and forth between that other girl and I
Constantly crushing my heart and soul
For you

I thought it was the most brilliant thing when you finally asked me to be yours

But now...
I look back and wish I would have
Told you that you couldn't have me,
That I would never be yours
That you don't deserve me

That I would,

Break your heart
Just once
In return for the numerous times
You broke mine.

Kiss me softly
As I drift asleep.
Play with my hair
As I start to count sheep.
One. Two. Three. Four. Fi-
Kiss me sweetly
As you watch me drift away.
Let us rest together
All night, until day.
Kiss me gently
I want to wake in your scent.
A night like that
Is a night well spent.
-ve. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine.
Kiss me strongly
Pull me in, close to you.
We'll get each other's name
As a rib cage tattoo.
Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thir-
Lay with me every night
As I fall asleep.
And help me to
Keep counting those sheep.

i found him right on time
the moon was high
its glow light on my cheeks
the summer breeze sent whispers
telling me
everything was going to be okay

he came in the form of dark clothes
and smirk so sly
he asked me
no shame on his face
and i told him
i was just a waste

he said he didn't believe me

and now 12 months later
under the same moon
with the breeze silent
i remember
what it feels like to trust
he showed me
i was a treasure in a world full of waste

I either care too much
Or I don't care enough
It's like I'm playing a never ending
Tug of war against myself
Too much pushing and pulling
Wondering and waiting
Is it worth the time
Or am I going insane yet?
And even after taking steps back
To see things more clearly
My perspective remains the same
And the image is blurry
I can't decide what's right
And I'm running out of time
To finally make up
My ever changing mind

Drop the mask and façade
I need to see the truth
What is actually there?
What is actually you?
And what have you done
To try to make me stay
Even when it seems
Like I'm pushing you away
I miss the way it used to be
When you actually tried
Now I'm falling for you harder
And I'm scarring my pride
But what is actually hurt
Isn't the fact that you're fading
But the fact that I was wrong
When I thought I could change it

And maybe after this
I'll finally learn
How to point out the liars
Before I get hurt
But mistakes are inevitable
Even for me
I'm not the perfect person
I wish I could be
But I'll remember the past
When I'm living every day
I won't let people trick me
Won't listen when they say
That they can give me the world
But they have their fingers crossed
Because I can't lose my head
Or ever get lost
For the fear of unreturned love
Is something to hate
Because it's bound to happen sometime
Despite your effort to delay it

And well the seasons change
And memories fade
But the lesson will always
Remain the same
You'll have to face lies
Disappointment and heartbreak
But hold onto yourself
It's the only thing you'll take
Because most everything eventually
Crumbles and falls
But if you're still there
Standing up tall
You'll be able to start over
Get a fresh start
To reopen the wounds
You've sealed on your heart

I've been living in sadness,
Deep inside my heart,
My blood aches in my veins,
And it tears me apart.
The mention of your name,
Sends me hurdling down,
And leaves me with nothing
To rely on, except the ground.
My eyes fill with tears,
My heart and brain fill with fears,
Yet it's been so long;
Almost three and a half years.
The worst day of my life,
Was the day you broke my heart,
You ripped it out and
Tore me apart.
I'll never forgive you,
For the pain you've caused me,
I've suffered for over three years,
While you never shed a single tear.
You weren't hurt,
Of course you were alright,
While I spend most of my time,
Crying myself to sleep at night.
All the tears I've shed,
Along with blood from my veins,
And the bottles I've drank,
Are all linked with your name.
So remember, Chris,
The next time you get inside
A girl's metastasizing heart,
Don't cut your way out;
Because, it will tear her apart.
Just let her heart grow,
Swelling in your illness,
Pretty soon the love will **** her,
And you'll be held as a witness.
Or maybe they'll convict you,
Of your torturous crime,
Getting girls to trust you,
Before you rip out their heart and spine.
Now remember, Chris,
I fell deeply in love with you,
You said to me, those three words,
But it was meaningless to you.
You throw your words around,
Like you did with my heart,
I loved you then, I love you now,
I haven't stopped loving you, since the start.
So farewell, my true love,
The past four years have been great,
Just kidding, they've ******,
Because it's also you, that I hate.
Yes, I hate you and love you,
It still confuses me,
I want you to suffer,
But I still want the two of us to be we.
I hate you and I love you,
I don't know what to feel,
It'd be nice if I just woke up,
And none of this was real.
Too bad I can't do that,
Just erase a large part of my life,
My world since you left me,
Has been a continuous strife.
A strife is too small,
Without you, it's been a war,
But were you the enemy,
Or what I was fighting for?
You're last words broke my heart,
Like an atom bomb inside me,
You ran off to avoid the shock,
While I just laid there, dying.

Sometimes it's a cactus,  not a rose
that pinches the heart of a lover
though, she doesn't smell musk
or her eyes aren't lined with kohl,
he was weary and looking for an elusive spirit
which even he wasn't clear what, but found in her.

Breaking away from the caravan
hurtling down the dusty road
to an unknown town in that arid desert
he spoke to the cactus, whose eyes met his
when a shiver passed through the psyche of both.

Cactus, stood looking at him, her sad smile hinted
to the heartbreaking news they have to face,
cactus, broke her silence, said she was happy
on being looked after by the hollering sun,
howling desert wind and sand storm cover her
with utmost affection,"They are my cousins,
they know me well all these years,
I let them decide for me what I need..."
they stood looking at each other, for a minute,
nothing more was to be told

"Have no misgivings, stranger, though my lover you are,
we live or die here together, but your destination is far
you are a rare one, readily gave your heart
to a mere desert cactus, that rarely flowers,
your perception, is the creation of your vibrant mind
I respect your passion and spirit of adventure,
we live the way we are made to live, why bear the pain of change,
I hope you know what I mean,
we live the way the most fitting for us, love is sacrifice too,
we both have hearts that beat together, I am blessed
but now, we have different choices, who can say who is right
the logic we espouse are different, though our hearts crave to be together*"