I loved her
  she was the constant reminder of me
How she makes me happy
  she knew me
When I'm at my darkest she was there

But I'm afraid of her
  she's always there
I look at the mirror
  she'd hug me from behind
I tell her to leave me
  but she loves me enough for me to die
I tell her I love her
  displeases her taste
I knew I had to run away
  but she said this was my fate

in the end I couldn't escape
   Me and the darkness that was Her.

When the writer stopped
The clicks disappeared
Paper lay silent
Words melted into floor
Candle wax measured time
Each drop a new hour
Pens of neglect
The dagger of mighty men
It laid there
Dusted and calm
Nothing was left
There was nothing to right

I draw
I draw a face
Is it yours?
No, not exactly

Because I draw from memory
And my memories are weak
I'm sorry
I have no pictures of your smiling face

I draw
I draw a bird
No, not a crow
A raven
Very different birds.

I don't draw it dark enough
I'm too scared
If it's too dark,  there's no going back
Don't touch the 9b

I draw
I draw a storm
Not my storm, no
Just a storm

Wreaking through the houses
The walls
The roof
Just to get to you
And I let it

I draw
I draw a mountain
That I will not climb
I refuse, it's too big

A mountain of my fears is always too big
I don't wish to try
To climb
The things I cannot control

I draw
I draw tears
Tears that were mine
But no longer Belong to me

The tears for you that I shed
The tears I wish I did not have
The tears rolling in the back of my head
The tears wishing you never bleed

I draw

I want to write something real

I want to write something genuine

I want create something beautiful

maybe something someone will someday depend upon.


You see, for me its all about purpose

About fulfillment in my life

maybe I'll fall in love

Lord knows that I have tried.


My mind is ruled by falling for

Things I wished were real

Like a person who might be the one for me

Or a place in this world that I might fill.


I think about things I'm thinking

And then think quite a bit more

I'll never really understand

just what all of these thoughts are for.


I want to be writer

Someone who inspires.

Someone who is real and true in their words

and who's courage never tires.


My mind just feels so selfish

constantly thinking about itself.

I want to be more selfless

But for that I might need a little help.


So I'll slip away from my wants

my desires and my greed

and maybe someday soon

I'll become the someone I  n e e d  to be.