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J Mar 2021
Loneliness sprouts dandelions between the cracks of my heart

The more I push others away, the more the weeds swell

I am the facilitator behind the impurity, I am the hypocrite, I am the burden

How long before my heart is infested?
...
J Feb 2021
A sliver of light pears through the corruption
How long has it been since there was warmth amid the ruin
Will the flame flourish like in the past
Or will it perish beside my sanity
Hope can be evil
J Feb 2021
Why do I fear losing when I’ve already lost
Why do I fear hate when I’m already hated
Why do I fear the scars when I’m already bleeding
Why do I fear death when it is already upon me
...
J Feb 2021
I hate for I was deceived
You hate for I am weak
Others hate for they do not understand

In-between the breathes of panic
While blood trickles to my fingers tips
The only hate that I know
Is the one for my myself
I’m sorry
J May 2021
Yearning for my release from this life

But petrified to leave my responsibilities behind

What will happen when my responsibilities run dry

For now, I remain stuck in Limbo
Death is upon me
J Jul 2021
Have you accepted the horrors you have unfolded?

Or has the deceit you’ve engulfed yourself with now become your truth

For do you know of the monster you have created?

Or do you stand ignorantly as it lays its dread on this world
...
J Feb 2021
Stuck in the thick that drags me under
I struggle for breathes, grasping for the surface
The runner appears beyond the drowned
Do you see me?

A sense of familiarity blankets my surroundings
Yet it is shrouded with insecurity
The runner stops to peer into the abyss
Can you help me?

I reach to where the moon and stars used to be
Your conflicted face reduces to fear
Only hesitating before fleeing
Where are you going?

I sink deeper than before
As the runner abandons the gloom
A stream of tears left next to your footsteps
Why are you crying?

Now I am consumed
Now I am alone
And now I am tired
Why did you leave?
The runner suffers just as much. They do not want to runaway, but it is in their nature.
J Apr 2021
They never tell you how much the cuts burn

The way it feels like cigarettes being put out on every slit you’ve created

Arms, wrists, shoulders, legs all raging in a blaze of boiling red

You think you would get used to the sensation, now that the cuts have become habit

But even through the numbness, it always creeps up, burning
J Feb 2021
My skin has become a tic-tac-toe board swarming with X’s
Fresh scars etched as new spaces are uncovered

I am running out of room
I am running out of time
J Apr 2021
The day I’ve outlined in my head

I don’t know what will become of my life until then

But I hope I can erase the date

Before I erase myself from this world
...

— The End —