I don't think we ever truly knew each other, she said.
I almost said I felt like one of those icicles that stay the same size, while all their icicle friends are pushing towards the fallen snow.
I just looked at her.
I'm surprised my stomach didn't digest my heart right there, as my eyes ran across the back of my brain, I could feel the static building.
Wondering. Where I went wrong and when.
We had it all.
The lazy Sundays.
The gluttonous nights after work.
The lustful sweat falling to her bare skin mixing with the oils and dust in the air.
Her make up running with angst
Asking to be set free, I know that feeling all to well, I said.
What? She looked perplexed pausing the passion.
Oh, sorry, I slapped her in the face, and she smiled.

I am pulled in a million directions,
With no knowledge of how to control this storm.
This storm has been building,
In side of me.
The heartlessness of your actions,
Show your true colors.
Your selfish heart shines through.
How do I tell you?
You make me alone.
You take my compassion and destroy me with it.
So I must leave.
Our friendship is done.
I am tired.
Thanks for the memories.

I'm no stranger to drugs.

I look young,
but I can't say the same for my lungs.
My eyes have seen some ****,
oh but they are always up for another hit.
Pupils are used to the dilation,
that comes with the apparitions.
And my nostrils are hallways,
always ready to lead me to a bright, jumpy day.

But there is no way of purchasing the greatest feeling, no type of currency.
There is no drug, no alcohol that compares to love and its potency.
Oh my, I wish I could tell you where to find it.
Hook you up with a dealer that can sell you a hit.
I would sell my soul to get a dime bag of that pure, untouched substance.
Put it directly in my veins, let it travel to my heart, feel the sustenance.

The truth is, I just want to feel alive.
I want to feel like pure ecstasy, all the time, every moment of my life.
I've lost that feeling given to us by the gods,
and will do anything to find it, against all odds.
Oh darling, oh dear give me what little you have left.
This life is cruel, and my addiction even more so, please come death.
Death, put a rest to my thirst.
But give me a taste first.

I'm no stranger to drugs.
But babygirl, I'm fienin' for your love.

Perhaps if I lay him on his side
he will become something.

He will blink his plastic eyes and
stretch his padless paws out and upward.

If a knead his hide just right
the blind eyes will see
and the black string mouth
will turn red and wet.

A scratch on the belly
and his stuffing will turn to organs.
A kiss on the nose
and he will listen to his head
not my hands.

His floppy, fraying tail will wag
and his shaggy white hair will be fur.

But its 10 year old ears do not hear
and it’s worn out old tail does not shake.

Forever asleep,
for old toys never wake.

The last Christmas that we spent together was three years ago.
When you died, it hurt me incredibly, it was a devastating blow.
The love that I felt for you was wonderful, it was extraordinary.
Sadly, to be able to spend another Christmas with you, I would have to spend it in the cemetery.
Christmas isn't as good as it once was because we're not together.
I still carry you in my heart and I promise that I'll love you forever.

it's been two years
and you still burn in the back of my mind
i wish i could've been strong
but i was trembling
i wish i loved you
now all your love is wasted
you gave me roses
i wish i didn't let them die